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Hello everyone,

Please help me to correct this IELTS Writing Task 1 below:


The line graph compares the average number of daily UK commuters traveling by means of car, bus or train between 1970 to 2030.

It is clear that there are significant changes in the amount of UK commuters traveling each day by all 3 car, bus or train in 60 years shown on the graph. While the trends of people traveling by train and car go up gradually, it is a steady reduction of bus between 1970 to 2030.

By 1970, the numbers of commuters traveling by train and bus was around 2 and 4 million while around 5 million people traveled by car. Over the following forty years, the steady upward trends of car and train were seen while it witnessed the moderate reduction of bus.

From 2010 to 2030, it is anticipated that the trends of both car and train will increase by 2 millions while the amount of bus will decline by 0,5 million. In 2030, prediction shows that the commuters of train will rise to nearly 5 millions and the figure of commuters of car will reach a peak of 9. By contrast, the constant downward trend of bus is expected to 3.


Thanks for helping me! Emotion: smile

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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. Also, when you mention data values, be sure to write the correct numbers.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post


The line graph compares the average number of daily UK commuters traveling by means of car, bus or train between 1970 and to 2030.

(To be precise, you must change the text.

The line graph compares the average number of daily UK commuters traveling by means of car, bus or train between 1970 and the present day, with a projection to 2030.)


It is clear that (Useless filler words. They do not tell the reader anything about the data.) there are significant changes (That is very vague and imprecise. It is not surprising that this data would change in 60 years! Give the reader one of your main observations about this information. ) in the amount (wrong word. Amount is for non-count nouns: amount of water, amount of meat, amount of money) of UK commuters traveling each day by all 3 car, (only three cars? ) bus or train in 60 years shown on the graph. (Repetitive. The reader knows you are talking about a graph.) While the numbers trends of people traveling by train and car go up gradually, there it is a steady reduction in the number riding a of bus between 1970 to (wrong word) 2030.

By 1970, the numbers of commuters traveling by train and bus was around 2 and 4 million while around 5 million people traveled by car. Over the following forty years, the steady upward trends of car and train (unnatural usage) were seen while it witnessed (wrong word) the moderate reduction of bus.(wrong expression.)

From 2010 (There is nothing in the instructions that say the data to 2010 was actual, and beyond that predicted.) to 2030, it is anticipated that the trends of both car and train will increase (Trend increase / trend decrease are incorrect collocations.) by 2 millions while the amount of bus (wrong phrase. "amount of bus" is meaningless.) will decline by 0,5 million. In 2030, prediction shows that the commuters of train (wrong phrase) will rise to nearly 5 millions a (wrong form) and the figure (wrong word) of commuters of car will reach a peak (wrong word) of 9. (wrong value) By contrast, the constant downward trend of bus is expected to 3. (wrong word. Three is not a verb.)

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AlpheccaStars

Please post essays, paragraphs, dialogues and other writing in the essay forum so a moderator does not have to move your post.
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Thanks, AlpheccaStars! But it seems like it is already moved.

Sorry I'm still new here so I'm not familiar with this but I'll keep in mind. Thanks a lot! Emotion: smile

 AlpheccaStars's reply was promoted to an answer.
Phương Linh 8534Thanks, AlpheccaStars! But it seems like it is already moved.

Yes. I am a moderator and moved your post.

Let me know if you would like help in revising your essay. It has a lot of problems.

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