Some people say that children should go to school as soon as possible, while others believe that children should go to school at least 7 years old. Discuss both views and give your opinion?


Many feel that children should start formal education as soon as possible, whereas others think that only when they turn seven, can children be allowed to go to school. From my perspective, whether they should attend school early or not, is depending on the development of each child.

First of all, it seems that children at ages that less than seven are in the stage that their personalities are vulnerable to external factors. By this I mean, if a child is raised in a positive home and neighborhood environment, they would form positive behaviors and thinking. Otherwise, they would be led astray by various social factors. And this might an explanation for why some people think that children should go to school as soon as possible. In their opinion, at schools, children are under the supervision of teachers and while studying in a formal academic environment, children are taught to be disciplined and independent. These merits can protect children from negative external factors from society.

On the other hand, people who believe children should only be permitted to attend school, when they turn seven might think that children who younger than seven are not mentally-prepared to change the environment that they are familiar with, thus, leading to various problems at schools. Recent research concluded that many children attending school early feel stressed, socially isolated or even mentally- disordered. These might be the factors that lead to the problems of students’ poor performances and bullying at schools.

My view is that children should only be allowed to start formal schooling, only if they are mentally ready. As well as this, educators should not restrict the age for starting formal schooling of children. This is because some children may develop faster and thereby are more mature than others.

It is incorrect to place a single comma between the subject and verb. Appositives can be set off by two commas.



Many feel that children should start formal education as soon as possible, whereas others think that only when they turn seven, (no comma) can children be allowed to go to school. From my perspective, whether they should attend school early or not, (no comma) is depending depends on the development of each child.

First of all, it seems that children at ages that less than seven are in a the stage where that their personalities are vulnerable to external factors. By this I mean, (no comma) if a child is raised in a positive home and neighborhood environment, they would form positive behaviors and thinking. Otherwise, they would be led astray by various social factors. (Please give an example of such a social factor. I have no idea what it might be.) And this might an explanation for why some people think that children should go to school as soon as possible. In their opinion, at schools, children are under the supervision of teachers and while studying in a formal academic environment, (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) children are taught to be disciplined and independent. These merits This can protect children from negative external factors in their from society.

On the other hand, people who believe children should only be permitted to attend school, (no comma) when they turn seven might think that children who younger (ungrammatical) than seven are not mentally-prepared (no hyphen) to change the environment (I don't understand how a 5-year-old child can change the environment. What do you mean? Be specific.) that they are familiar with, thus, leading to various problems at schools. Recent research concluded that many children attending school early feel stressed, socially isolated or even mentally- disordered. (no hyphen, wrong word.) These might be the factors that lead to the problems of students’ poor performances and bullying at schools.

My view is that children should only be allowed to start formal schooling, (no comma) only (incorrect repetition) if they are mentally ready. As well as this, educators should not restrict the age for starting children's formal schooling of children. This is because some children may develop faster and thereby are more mature than others.The last paragraph should only contain a summary of previous points. Immaturity was not mentioned in the body paragraphs.

This is because some children may develop faster and thereby are more mature than others.The last paragraph should only contain a summary of previous points. Immaturity was not mentioned in the body paragraphs

I'm sorry, the topic required me to discuss both views and give my own opinion, so in the last paragraph I gave my own opinion

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In their opinion, at schools, children are under the supervision of teachers and while studying in a formal academic environment, (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) children are taught to be disciplined and independent

Can you help me by correcting this sentence?

to change the environment (I don't understand how a 5-year-old child can change the environment. What do you mean? Be specific.) that they are familiar with.

I changed this sentence to " children who are younger than seven are not mentally-prepared to acclimatize to the new academic environment, thus, leading to various problems at schools" is that ok

by" social factors", I mean they might be social stigma, violent neighborhood, gender or class discrimination, and inappropriate parenting

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Tran Tung DangI'm sorry, the topic required me to discuss both views and give my own opinion, so in the last paragraph I gave my own opinion

Actually, you gave your opinion in the first paragraph. And that is good. It is your thesis statement (your opinion):

From my perspective, whether they attend school early or not depends on the development of each child.

You also repeated that opinion in the last paragraph, and you used different words. That is very good:

My view is that children should be allowed to start formal schooling only if they are mentally ready. 

The next sentence follows logically. It is good. It adds more to your opinion.

As well as this, educators should not restrict the age for starting children's formal schooling.

But the last sentence seems to be a point that you could have stated in one of the body paragraphs. It is introducing a new idea, that children mature at different rates.


Here is a version that flows better.

My view is that children should be allowed to start formal schooling only if they are mentally ready. And there is no fixed age for this, such as seven years old. Precocious children may be ready as early as five, and late-bloomers as late as eight. Because of this, educators should not set an age for starting formal schooling, but have an evaluation for their individual readiness.

Tran Tung DangIn their opinion, at schools, children are under the supervision of teachers and while studying in a formal academic environment, (comma splice error, ungrammatical sentence) children are taught to be disciplined and independent
Can you help me by correcting this sentence?

My bad. It is OK.

thank you so much

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