The applicant's personal statement should include:
• motivation,
• Professional interests,
• And goals
Be briefly described (one to two pages);
• This personal statement may also contain aspects about oneself or of the work that are not apparent from the other application credentials
Here is what i came up with but i think it is does not flow: your help will be highly appreciated

My educational goal has been to achieve a degree in Marketing and eventually pursue my doctorate. My interest in Marketing originated from my father. A PhD degree holder in Marketing and Economics, he never ceased to emphasize the value of a good education to his 2 children.
While I was in high school, my father worked as a Lecturer at the Botswana Institute of Management. Occasionally, I had the privilege of attending his Lectures in Principles of Marketing and International Marketing. Through the Case Studies I found myself highly exhilarated by the intellectual challenge in the Marketing field. Marketing affects every phase of business — from new idea generation for goods and services through commercialization and sales. During that moment, I know I wanted to major into Marketing.
Unfortunately, Just after I graduated from High School 1997, my father got critically ill with Kidney failure. Because of this ordeal, large amounts of money had to be spent, taking care of my father's health. Since he was the breadwinner, it was not possible for me to start my studies. It was a hard time for our family, however, this experience instilled in me the desire to excel someday. I never let my dream die. I kept my eyes open, focused on the road ahead.
As an alternative, I enrolled into a Secretarial School, which was more avoidable. I later moved to Austria and enrolled into a Business and English Management certificate course which is part of the ESA “European Secretarial Assistant” Programme. I attained classes in the morning and worked as an English tutor in the evening. After obtaining my certificate, with A’s in all subjects, I got a job so that I can raise some funds to enable me to finance my university education.
When I heard about The International Marketing and Management being offered at Lauder Business School and after looking at the course outline, I knew that I wanted to enrol myself into the programme. Being admitted into the programme will be a step forward to alias my dreams.
My Career goal is to work for a renowned international company as a Marketing Manager. Yet, I understand that the business world today is more complex. This complexity requires more education, and with that in mind, I am confident that the Degree Programme in International Marketing and Management offered by Lauder Business School will provide me with a solid foundation and understanding to further pursue career.
I look forward to my future with great anticipation, and know that the time has finally come for me to realize my dreams. I know and believe that I have the potential to excel, given an opportunity to do so.
Hi SallyAnn

I think you need to organise your letter a little better. You are jumping around from subject to subject at the moment. Format your letter so they can find exactly what they are asking for.

Pargraph one: goals (educational and career)
paragraph two: motivation, and what sort of person are you?
paragraph three: • Professional interests,
Para four: other

I would also remove a lot of the detail about your father.
Thank you very for the your feedback. I will work on the letter according to your advise. I will post a copy soon.
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i need to write my personal statement for undergraduate courses.i intend to go for law or social work courses in the uk.am a mauritian.i badly need to send my ucas form as am already late enough.hope you will help me friend...the sooner the better!see ya!
hi, this is to let you know that I managed to work on the personal statement. Thank you for your willingness to help.
Cheers
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pls help me to write my personal statement