Something i wrote for my grd 9 english class. please proof read! thnx in advance.

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A couple of days after the carousel rides, Holden got sick. Daddy and mommy wouldn't let me see him. I started to really miss him. It was funny, he was right next door and all but I still missed him. Ever since the carousel rides Holden seemed to have changed, I think hes beginning to face reality. Before that, Holden always seemed to be like a big baby, I mean he was a great brother and all but he was just always hiding from reality. Like how he wouldn't accept Allie's death, he didn't even go to his funeral. I've confronted him about this before, on the night when he sneaked home: “You don't like anything that's happening”, I told him. That kind of shocked him I think, because i don't think anyone has ever challenged that before. This may had something to do with Holden's decision to go West. When the office lady gave me the note, I read it in shock. I couldn't believe that Holden was leaving and wouldn't be able to see me in the play! I think this gave me more reason to see my big brother has a big baby, because instead of facing reality he was running away from it: he wanted go west so he could forget about Allie's death, or his failures at Pency.

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this is another part of the same project..plz also proof read. thx

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Phoebe Caulfield is a light in the darkness, which guides Holden, when all other lights go out. Phoebe 's name literally means the bright one, and she is the only bright light in Holden's life. It was made clear that she was a source of light by the contrast created when she was introduced. Before Phoebe comes into the story, everything is described as evil and dark; but when Holden eventually introduces her, we see a side to him that we did not know existed “You never saw a little kid so pretty and smart”(67). Holden hadn't complimented any one in this manner until this point. Phoebe's role in the story was also to help refocus Holden, since she is a content reminder to Holden of innocence, after close encounters with true corruption (prostitutes) and crummy thoughts. This was quite obvious when Phoebe was first introduced, she was introduced right after Holden attempted to hook up with Faith Cavendish. By thinking about Phoebe, Holden remembered what his quest was and refocused. Not only does she help refocus him, she saves him from completely ruining his life when Holden wants to go West and live in a cabin by the forest. Holden didn't act on this thought because he could not bare the thought of Phoebe's happiness being taken away, because of his radical decisions. While it may be true that Holden bring Phoebe happiness, it is also true that, perhaps Holden needs Phoebe even more. Phoebe is Holden's only anchor to reality. Instead of sympathizing with Holden, on his refusal to fact reality, Phoebe gets mad at him and challenges him by saying, “You don't like anything that's happening”(169). This is an attempt, on Phoebe's part, to get Holden to think deep and hard about reality and the real world.

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Thanks again!
Hi,

I don't know the context, so it is hard to comment. But I will make a few cursory notes.

MountainHiker



A couple of days after the carousel rides, Holden got sick. Daddy and mommy wouldn't let me see him. I started to really miss him. It was funny, he was [lives?] right next door and all but I still missed him.[getting repetitive] Ever since the carousel rides, Holden seemed to have changed, I think hes [he's] beginning to face reality. Before that, Holden always seemed to be like a big baby[.] I mean he was a great brother and all [the "and all" is tiring] but he was just always hiding from reality. Like how [For example ]he wouldn't accept Allie's death[;], he didn't even go to his funeral. I've confronted him about this [reality thing?] before, on the night when he sneaked home: “You don't like anything that's happening”, I told him. That kind of shocked him[,] I think, because i don't think anyone has ever challenged that[him?] before. This may had something to do with Holden's decision to go West.

When the office lady gave me the note, I read it in shock. I couldn't believe that Holden was leaving and wouldn't be able to see me in the play! I think this gave me more reason to see my big brother has [has or as?] a big baby, because instead of facing reality he was running away from itEmotion: bat--]he wanted go west so he could forget about Allie's death or his failures at Pency.

I don't know who Holden is (your brother), why he lives next door, who the office lady is, who Allie is, what the carousel ride has to do with anything. I am just plain confused. You have my minor grammar stuff.
this is an report on the book "Catcher in the Rye" and the 1st one is an monologue from Holden Caufield's sisters point of view
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Sorry, I have not read the book. I understand that it is a set school text in America, so perhaps a USA member could help more.
Yes, I read Catcher in school, but I don't think that proofreading this requires a knowledge of the story:

'A couple of days after the carousel rides, Holden got sick. Daddy and Mommy wouldn't let me see him, and I started to really miss him. It was funny: he was right next door and all, but I still missed him. Ever since the rides, Holden seems to have changed; I think he's beginning to face reality. Before that, Holden always seemed to be like a big baby; I mean he was a great brother and all, but he was just always hiding from reality. Like how he wouldn't accept Allie's death; he didn't even go to his funeral. I've confronted him about this before, on the night when he sneaked home. “You don't like anything that's happening,” I told him. That kind of shocked him I think, because I don't think anyone has ever challenged him with that before. This may have had something to do with Holden's decision to go West. When the office lady gave me the note, I read it in shock. I couldn't believe that Holden was leaving and wouldn't be able to see me in the play! I think this gave me more reason to see my big brother as a big baby, because instead of facing reality he was running away from it: he wanted go West so he could forget about Allie's death, or his failures at Pency.

Phoebe Caulfield is a light in the darkness that guides Holden, when all other lights go out. Phoebe's name literally means 'the bright one', and she is the only bright light in Holden's life. It was made clear that she was a source of light by the contrast created when she was introduced. Before Phoebe comes into the story, everything is described as evil and dark; but when Holden eventually introduces her, we see a side to him that we did not know existed. “You never saw a little kid so pretty and smart” ( p. 67). Holden hadn't complimented any one in this manner until this point. Phoebe's role in the story is also to help refocus Holden, since she is a constant reminder to Holden of innocence, after close encounters with true corruption (prostitutes) and crummy thoughts. This was quite obvious when Phoebe was first introduced; she was introduced right after Holden attempted to hook up with Faith Cavendish. By thinking about Phoebe, Holden remembered what his quest was and refocused. She also saves him from completely ruining his life when Holden wants to go West and live in a cabin by the forest. Holden didn't act on this thought, because he could not bear the thought of Phoebe's happiness being taken away on account of his radical decisions. While it may be true that Holden brings Phoebe happiness, it is also true that, perhaps Holden needs Phoebe even more. Phoebe is Holden's only anchor to reality. Instead of sympathizing with Holden on his refusal to fact reality, Phoebe gets mad at him and challenges him by saying, “you don't like anything that's happening” (p. 169). This is an attempt on Phoebe's part to get Holden to think deep and hard about reality and the real world.'