hi ,everybody
i wrote an invitation letter for a very importmant conference last week but i don't know much about how to write an excellent business letter,would you please give me some valuable comments?

whatever you are ,thank you very much !

Dear Sir or Madam,

We are delighted your application for attending “CHINAOCS 2005” has been accepted by the committee of CHINA 2005. We send you a formal invitation and conference arrangements.
CHINAOCS 2005 is going to be held in Dalian Xinghai Exhibition Center from 9 am 22 June to 23 June, 2005. The main activities are:

1. OCS HI-TECH FAIR 2005
2. TALENTS 2005
3. INNOVATION FORUM 2005
4. OCS PIONEERING FORUM 2005
5. VENTURE CAPITAL FORUM 2005
To know more detail, please click www.Chinaocs.com.

The picturesque landscape of Dalian is very pleasant in the month of June. You will really enjoy your stay there and have a wonderful opportunity to promote your business interests and interact with other attendees. The conference will also provide you a great occasion for the communication with influential enterprises and entrepreneurs both from home and abroad.

We would like to mention you that the register time is from 20 June to 21 June. Please tell us your schedule once you plan to attend CHINAOCS 2005 (please fulfill the letter of confirmation on www.Chinaocs.com.), so that we can do some arrangements for you.

We cordially invite you for your benign participation in CHINAOCS 2005 and wish you to be success.

Sincerely yours,
Hi, This doesn't need too much work so well done as this is your first business letter. My suggestions are in bold and I have deleted a few words.

Dear Sir or Madam,

We are delighted to inform you that your application for “CHINAOCS 2005” has been accepted by the committee of CHINA 2005.

CHINAOCS 2005 will be held in the Dalian Xinghai Exhibition Center from 9 am on 22 June and 23 June, 2005.

The main activities are:

1. OCS HI-TECH FAIR 2005
2. TALENTS 2005
3. INNOVATION FORUM 2005
4. OCS PIONEERING FORUM 2005
5. VENTURE CAPITAL FORUM 2005
please visit www.Chinaocs.com for further details.

The picturesque landscape of Dalian is very pleasant in the month of June. You will really enjoy your stay there and have some wonderful opportunities to promote your business interests and interact with other attendees. The conference will also provide you with anoccasion to communicate with influential enterprises and entrepreneurs both from home and abroad.

We would like to mention you that the registration time is from 20 June to 21 June. Please tell us when you plan to attend CHINAOCS 2005 by completingthe letter of confirmation on www.Chinaocs.com, so that we can make some arrangements for you.

We cordially invite you to participate in CHINAOCS 2005 and wish you every success

Yours faithfully (sincerely is to be used when you have an actual named recipient).
nona the brit , thank you so much ! i ' m so happy that i could find this forum and so kindly friend as you are. again, thank you!Emotion: smile
Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
You are very welcome.
I'm not really good in my english writting, please provide me the ways to write a good international exhibition invitation letter. Thank you~!