hi all of my kind teachers working in this forum

i'm nguyen trong giap , from vietnam , i decide to take part in an essay contest , its deadline is September the 4th .

topic of your choice , so my essay's topic is : tell one event that changed your life

however , i haven't make its title yet, so can you please suggest some titles after reading my essay?

here is the essay :

Yes, I admit bursting out cry when reading that book. When a man cries , the reason is not as simple as hurt or sulleness . To me , it 's the shame

At 16 years old , what did you achieve ? When getting older , do you regret of what you gained in that sweetest time ? Being engulfed in the love and protection of my family , I nearly didn't know how challengeous life was . I always drown in lessons and homeworks which made my life nearly fell into a rut . Everything happened in a dismal way till one day , when i passed the threshold of the age 16 . Suddenly , I startled: " Now , I'm at 16 - the most beautiful age in my lifetime , so what have I done to deserve for it? " Looking in retrospect , I didn't find anything special . " From this day forward , I will rebel , yes , rebel " - I murmur . For sure that won't be the crazy and impulsive behaviour of adolescene . Confused as I felt , I finally decided to write articles and translate stories for the newspaper . It was the first unprofessional job of my life apart from student . Although I have sent 6 successively valuable stories picked up from the internet, I haven't received any reply . No problem , I'm continuously sending some more in hope .

Nevertheless , the first work doesn't satisfy my thirst for a change . Recently , at the same time with the new Harry Potter 's publicity , in Viet Nam , the Youth Press has published a diary written by a 20 -year -old martyr named Nguyen Van Thac . While teenagers from all over the world were devouring the brand new episode " Harry Potter and the half blood prince " , I was spending restless nights reading my pathetic book " Forever 20 " . In my opinion , mine is much more valuable than the story of an imaginary teenage witch as far as content is concerned . Firstly , because it 's real . People never lie in their own diaries , do they ?

Nguyen Van Thac drew his last breath when fighting unyieldinly in the battle of Quang Tri . After nearly one year enrolling in the military , he passed away at the early age of 20 . Each line he wrote in this diary tormented me over and over again even in my sleep . Like a normal person , he confided in his diary every emotion during 1 year in the war : happiness,depression , annoy , affection and compassion ... Above all , he had such an original mind , a beautiful love and a fabulous ideal that i can never gain . I did sense inferior to Thac , who was only 4 years older than me . Not a tear did I shed when reading a book before . I'm not a wimp but this time , I can't prevent it from dropping on the white page . In the quiet room , there is only me and my book . Or am I over against Nguyen Van Thac ? Never will I forget what he said at the last moment : " What a pity that I can not fight any more , many plans are still incomplete " . So crazy was I that I used to wish I could return to the war , to live an extraordinary life as Thac did , even when it lasts in just 20 years . No , my wish can't come true . For the time being , at the vigorous youth , I can't be a redundant boy .

I have thought much for many days , in the end , i find charity and volunteer to be the living ideal . It can't be denied that my country is poor . Everywhere can you recognise miserable people wandering about the streets , looking for food in the garbage . 30 years after the war , the wound still remains in Vietnamese 's bodies . The picture of misshapen heads , lame bodies or rabid looks haunt me everytime i happen to see . I did put my signature to the website : www. pentitiononline . com just in hope of sharing with the agent orange victims ( many of whom have the same age with me ) a part of the trauma . But thus , my tiny signature seemed to be helpless . Looking at the reflection of my self in the mirror , I promised to donate my first earnings from writing articles to the SOS village , where my unlucky friends are living . In that way , at least I can feel helpful for someone who need aid .

This time next year , I will be facing up to a very important exam : the university entry contest . If I pass , I will determine to be the most positive volunteer student . Every summer holiday , going to remoted mountainous area, I will teach ethnic children all I get from lectures and life . Otherwise , I must be so sad . However I'm willing and proud to be a young soldier like Nguyen Van Thac . I don't really understand why lots of men are afraid of doing military service after their failure of university exam . Perhaps , they can't bear the harsh discipline in miliatary . Someday, thanks to the army , I will be trained to be the sturdy and resilient man as i have ever dreamt of . And my desire to devote will be stronger than ever ...

My incense is now flaming in the quiet room . It's such a long distance between me and Thac's graveyard . Anyway , wherever he is now , he can feel my profound grattitude to a strange person who taught me how to live . Many plans ahead are waiting for me to complet . Why don't I begin it right now ? As Thac usually told me : " Life never stops , especially with youth "

THE END

1. I don't know why, when typing this essay , i don't feel so emotional as when writing . Rereadin it , I feel that mine doesn't make sense . I have no idea

2. I post this essay not only to have you correct it but also to introduce to foreigners about VietNam in the past and at the present , that have usally been my dream . thanks for reading Emotion: big smile

3. Please check out my essay as much as possible the grammar , vocabulary and expression mistakes .

to Mister Micawber : can you please telling me how to correct the mistakes besides showing them , i even don't know how to correct when you tell me what the mistake is

thanks again all of you
Yes, I admit bursting out crying when reading the book. When a man cries, the reason is not as simple as hurt or sullenness; to me, it is the shame.
At 16 years old , what did you achieve? When getting older, did you regret what you gained in that sweetest time? Being engulfed in the love and protection of my family, I did not really know how challenging life was. I was always submerged in my lessons and homework, which made my life fall into a rut. Everything happened in a dismal way, until I passed the threshold of the age of 16. Suddenly, I started. "Now I'm 16 - the most beautiful age of life, so what have I done to deserve it?" Looking in retrospect, I didn't find anything special . "From this day forward, I will rebel, yes, rebel," I murmured, "surely that won't be the crazy, impulsive behaviour of adolescence." Confused as I felt, I finally decided to write articles and translate stories for the newspaper. It was the first professional job of my life. Although I have sent six successive valuable stories picked up from the internet, I have not received any reply. Still, I am continuously sending more, in hope that one will at last be accepted .

Nevertheless, this first work doesn't satisfy my thirst for a change. Recently, at the same time as the new Harry Potter publicity in Viet Nam, the Youth Press published a diary written by a 20-year-old martyr named Nguyen Van Thac. While teenagers from all over the world were devouring the brand new episode, Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince, I was spending restless nights reading this poignant book, Forever 20. In my opinion, it is much more valuable than the story of an imaginary teenage witch, as far as content is concerned . Firstly, because it is real: people never lie in their own diaries.

Nguyen Van Thac drew his last breath when fighting unyieldingly in the battle of Quang Tri. After only one year enlisted in the military, he passed away at the early age of 20. Each line he wrote in this diary tormented me over and over again, even in my sleep. He confided in his diary every emotion during his year in the war: happiness, depression, annoyance, affection and compassion. Above all, he had an original mind, a beautiful love and a fabulous ideal that I can never gain. I felt inferior to Thac, who was only four years older than me. Not a tear had I shed when reading a book before; I am not sentimental. But this time, I could not prevent tears from dropping onto the white pages. In my quiet room , there was only me and my book. Am I over Nguyen Van Thac? Never will I forget what he said at the last moment: "What a pity that I cannot fight any more, many plans are still incomplete." So crazy was I that I used to wish I could return to the war, to live an extraordinary life as Thac did , even when it lasts just 20 years. No, my wish cannot come true. For the time being, in vigorous youth, I cannot be a redundant boy .

I have thought much for many days; in the end, I find charity and volunteerism to be the living ideal. It cannot be denied that my country is poor. Everywhere you can recognise miserable people wandering about the streets, looking for food among the garbage. Thirty years after the war, the wounds still remain in Vietnam. The pictures of misshapen heads, lame bodies and haunted looks haunt me every time I happen to see them. I put my signature to the website www. pentitiononline.com just in hopes of sharing with the Agent Orange victims (many of whom are the same age as me) a part of my desolation. But still, my tiny signature seemed to be useless. Looking at the reflection of myself in the mirror, I have promised to donate my first earnings from writing articles to the SOS village, where my unlucky friends are living. In that way, at least I can feel helpful to the needy.

This time next year, I will be facing up to a very important exam, the university entry competition. If I pass, I am determined to be the most positive student volunteer. Every summer holiday, going to remote mountainous areas, I will teach ethnic children all I learn from lectures and life. Otherwise, I would be very sad. However, I am willing and proud to be a young soldier like Nguyen Van Thac. I do not really understand why many men are afraid of doing military service after their failure in the university exam. Perhaps they cannot bear the harsh discipline in the military. Someday, thanks to the army, I will be trained to be the sturdy and resilient man that I have alwaus dreamt of; and my desire to devote myself will be stronger than ever.

My incense is now smouldering in my quiet room. It is such a long distance between me and Thac's graveyard. Wherever he is now, he can feel my profound gratitude to a stranger who has taught me how to live. Many plans ahead are waiting for me to complete. Why don't I begin right now? As Thac often told me,"Life never stops, especially with youth. "

THE END

Very nicely done, Giap. A very affecting story, thank you.
Don't leave a space before periods, or between punctuation marks and the nearest letter.
I'm very grateful to you ,Mister Micawber , can you please give me a remarkable title ? thanks
Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
I'm afraid I'll have to leave that to you, Giap. Choose one that is short and memorable, and that reflects the essence of the message you want this essay to carry to the reader.
Hi there, I've just discovered this nice site and I'm so glade reading through all different subjects....it's so nice! I really like and I would really appreciate it if you could also help me with my writing ..? I'll give you one of my worry writings and I hope you can correct it for me:

I’d like to share my thoughts with you guys and add more strengthens and skills and confidence that will advantage my professional knowledge at the end. Thank you all.

Thank you very much.

Linanz