Topic: The Internet's merits exceeds its downsides. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

In this day and age, the proliferation of the Internet has brought out many benefits. Along with them, there are some technological threats as well. Personally, I claim that those issues cannot overshadow the advantages of the Internet.

The Internet enables people to live more easily. It empowers people to conveniently keep in touch with friends and relatives. Before the advent of technology, people can only interact with others by letters, which waste a lot of time. Nowadays, we can communicate by e-mail and social network such as Facebook, Zalo… Another benefits the Internet is that it provides a plenty of online services for users. For example, people can book tickets for movies and travelling, buy clothes or pay bills of electricity by using the Internet.

However, undoubtedly this has detrimental effects on people who use it. Users, especially teenagers usually spend too much time online. Therefore, they do not participate in outdoor activities which is greatly harmful for their health. Moreover, people may become addicted to the virtual reality. In fact, it is of the utmost importance to have real relationships in order to develop their personal skills. Otherwise, they cannot get on well with others.

In conclusion, the Internet has some drawbacks to human. Nevertheless, we should not pass up its positive effects to our world.

Topic: The Internet's merits exceeds its downsides. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

In this day and age, the proliferation of the Internet has brought out many benefits. Along with them, there are some technological threats as well. Personally, I claim that those issues cannot overshadow the advantages of the Internet.

The Internet enables people to live more easily. It empowers people to conveniently keep in touch with friends and relatives. Before the advent of technology, people can only interact with others by letters, which waste a lot of time. Nowadays, we can communicate by e-mail and social network such as Facebook, Zalo… Another benefits the Internet is that it provides a plenty of online services for users. For example, people can book tickets for movies and travelling, buy clothes or pay bills of electricity by using the Internet.

However, undoubtedly this has detrimental effects on people who use it. Users, especially teenagers usually spend too much time online. Therefore, they do not participate in outdoor activities which is greatly harmful for their health. Moreover, people may become addicted to the virtual reality. In fact, it is of the utmost importance to have real relationships in order to develop their personal skills. Otherwise, they cannot get on well with others.

In conclusion, the Internet has some drawbacks to human. Nevertheless, we should not pass up its positive effects to our world.

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In this day and age, the proliferation (wrong word. Proliferation is not used for this context) expansion of the Internet has brought us out (wrong phrasal verb) many benefits. Along with them, there are some technological threats as well. Personally, I claim that they those issues cannot overshadow the advantages of the Internet.


You did not answer the essay question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your thesis statement in the first paragraph must answer the question directly. Use an adverb of extent. Do you know these adverbs?

Furthermore, you wrote less than 220 words. The minimum requirement is 250 words. You will lose points for not writing enough.


The Internet enables people to live more easily. It empowers people to conveniently keep in touch with friends and relatives. Before electronic communication technology, the advent of technology, (Wrong expression. Stone tools are the technology of the Neolithic Age. Writing was new technology in the Bronze age. The "advent of technology" was more than a hundred thousand years ago. ) people can could only interact (wrong verb) communicate over long distances with others by letters, which wasted a lot of time. Nowadays, we can communicate by e-mail and social network such as Facebook, Zalo… (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or expressions like "and so on" in formal writing.) Another benefits (wrong form. ) of the Internet is that it provides a plenty of (wrong expression. "Plenty of" is too informal. Do not use it in essays.) . a number of online services for users. For example, people can book tickets for movies and travel travelling, buy clothes or pay electricity bills of electricity by using the Internet.

However, undoubtedly this has there are detrimental effects on people who use it. Users, especially teenagers usually spend too much time online. Therefore, they do not participate in outdoor activities and the lack of physical exercise which is greatly harmful for their health. Moreover, people may become addicted to the virtual reality games and not socialize with their friends. In fact, it is of the utmost importance to have real relationships in order to develop their personal skills. Otherwise, they cannot get on well with others.

In conclusion, the Internet has some drawbacks to human. (wrong word. Use "Human" in the context of comparison with animals, or in set phrases like "human rights") Nevertheless, we should not ignore pass up its positive effects to on our world.

You did not answer the essay question: To what extent do you agree or disagree? You must answer this prompt in the opening and concluding paragraph.


Thank you so much!