Topic: The Internet's merits exceeds its downsides. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

In the last decades, with the proliferation of the Internet, many believe that it has exerted a much positive and far- reaching impact on human's lives. However, just as everything has its pros and cons, the Internet also has its demerits. In my opinion, I disagree with the idea of the worldwide web's advantages surpassing its downsides.

Firstly, the Internet can have a devastating effect on a person's both physical and mental health. Being addicted to the Internet is becoming more and more common within the youth, causing them to develop a passive and sedentary lifestyle. This may cause a myriad of physical problems such as obesity, short- sightedness and vulnerability to many diseases. What is more, people who become too engrossed in the virtual world tend to be more likely to suffer from a mental breakdown than a normal person.

Secondly, the computer world can prove to be a dangerous place to those who are too naive and trusting. Thanks to its anonymity, there are criminals committing cybercrimes every minute such as privacy invasion, identity theft or scams, escaping the eyes of the police. Users may have to put up with unwanted pop- up advertisements and e- mail spamming, which has become very frequent now in the cyber world.

In conclusion, the Internet's shortcomings are by no means less important than its benefits. Everyone should use the Internet wisely in regards to their own health and safety.

Topic: The Internet's merits exceeds its downsides. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

In the last decades, with the proliferation of the Internet, many believe that it has exerted a much positive and far- reaching impact on human's lives. However, just as everything has its pros and cons, the Internet also has its demerits. In my opinion, I disagree with the idea of the worldwide web's advantages surpassing its downsides.

Firstly, the Internet can have a devastating effect on a person's both physical and mental health. Being addicted to the Internet is becoming more and more common within the youth, causing them to develop a passive and sedentary lifestyle. This may cause a myriad of physical problems such as obesity, short- sightedness and vulnerability to many diseases. What is more, people who become too engrossed in the virtual world tend to be more likely to suffer from a mental breakdown than a normal person.

Secondly, the computer world can prove to be a dangerous place to those who are too naive and trusting. Thanks to its anonymity, there are criminals committing cybercrimes every minute such as privacy invasion, identity theft or scams, escaping the eyes of the police. Users may have to put up with unwanted pop- up advertisements and e- mail spamming, which has become very frequent now in the cyber world.

In conclusion, the Internet's shortcomings are by no means less important than its benefits. Everyone should use the Internet wisely in regards to their own health and safety.

Another student just posted the same essay. Please look at my feedback, because many comments apply to your essay. You have used many of the same unnatural phrases, you did not answer the essay prompt and your essay is shorter than the minimum word count.

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseReviewEnglishEssay/bpkzkc/post.htm#sc2723390


In the last decades, with the proliferation of the Internet, many believe that it has exerted a much positive and far- reaching impact on human's our lives. However, just as everything has its pros and cons, the Internet also has its brings some problems. demerits. (wrong word) In my opinion, I disagree with the idea of the worldwide web's advantages surpassing its downsides. (You did not answer the essay prompt: "To what extent...?" You must use an adverb of extent.)

Firstly, First, some of the websites on the Internet can have a devastating effect on a person's both physical and mental health. Being addicted to browsing the Internet is becoming more and more common within the youth, causing them to develop a passive and sedentary lifestyle. This may cause serious a myriad of (wrong usage) physical problems such as obesity, short- sightedness and vulnerability to many diseases. What is more, people who become too engrossed in the virtual world tend to be more likely to suffer from a mental breakdown than a normal person.

Secondly, Second, the computer world can prove to be a dangerous place to those who are too naive and trusting. Thanks to its anonymity, there are criminals committing cybercrimes every minute such as privacy invasion, identity theft or scams, escaping the eyes of the police. Users may have to put up with unwanted pop- up advertisements and e- mail spamming, which has become very frequent now in the cyber world.

In conclusion, the Internet's shortcomings are by no means less important than its benefits. Everyone should use the Internet wisely in regards to their own health and safety.

(You did not answer the essay prompt: "To what extent...?" You must use an adverb of extent.)