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Topic: Today, TV channels provide more men’s sport shows than women’s sport shows. Why? Should TV channels give equal time for women’s sports and men’s sports?

My essay:

It is argued that there are more TV channels about sport shows for men than women's ones. This essay will first demonstrate the reason which is the fact that viewers lack interest in female athletic's shows and it is necessary to give equal time as men's.


It is believed that audiences are tedious to sports show for women. Throughout history, there are a number of sport competitions for men but a few for women, thus individuals are more aware of sportmen, they are willing watch the shows that their preferred sportsmen attend and most are male gender. Therefore, man's shows attract much more viewers than that of women as well as bring up a number of profits for the channel' managers. For example, a myriad of channel broadcast World Cup attract a number of audience around the world while few people aware of World Cup for women.
TV channels had better give women's sport showtime as fair as men's ones. Women are determined as men thus they can provide excessive high-quality sport matches; therefore, it is essential to create more shows about their talents on TV in order to not only appreciate them but also fascinate both audience and sponsors.


To conclude, there are more TV channels about men's sport show than women's ones due to audience's boredom to the show and it is crucial for TV's directors equal the time of men and women's show.

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You have some good argument points, but the English is very poor. I can understand what you mean, but many words and expressions are wrong.


It is argued that there are more TV channels (It is not about channels, it is about televised games. )about sport shows for men than women's ones. This essay will first demonstrate (Never mention your essay. The examiner knows you are writing an essay. Do not tell them this!) the reason which is the fact that viewers lack interest in women's sports female athletic's shows and (Is this another reason?) it is necessary to give them equal time as men's.


It is believed that audiences are tedious (wrong word) to sports show for women. Throughout history, there are a number of many sport competitions for men but a few for women, (comma splice error) thus individuals are more aware of sportmen, (spelling, comma splice error) they are willing watch the shows that their preferred sportsmen attend and most are male gender. (That makes no sense. All sportsmen are men, and all men are male. Sportswomen are female.) Therefore, man's shows attract much more viewers than that of women as well as bring up a number of profits for the channel' managers. For example, a myriad (wrong word) of channel (wrong form) broadcast World Cup attract a number of audience (ungrammatical sentence. Also "audience" is the wrong form) around the world while few people aware (ungrammatical) of World Cup for women.
TV channels had better (wrong expression - this is a threat.) give women's sport showtime as fair as men's ones. (wrong expression ) Women are determined as men thus (run-on sentence.) they can provide excessive (wrong word) high-quality sport matches; therefore, it is essential to create more shows about their talents on TV in order to not only appreciate them but also fascinate both audience and sponsors.


To conclude, there are more TV channels about men's sport show than women's ones due to audience's boredom to the show and it is crucial for TV's directors equal the time of men and women's show.