Please help me write this essay it is incomplete please read and improve.Please show me any errors.

thank you

The Hobbit:

LITTLE PEOPLE HOBBITS CAN COME FAR PLACES

Fantasy books are amazing. They embody the unrealism to make it the one type of literature that truly has elements of something that could never happen in reality. There are a seeming infinite amount of fantasy books. The Hobbit is one of those. The Hobbit is an extraordinarily great fantasy book. It revolves around the main protagonist Bilbo and his journey of retrieving treasure from a dragon. Bilbo is aided by his friend Gandalf and twelve dwarves of whom the treasure belongs to. As the journey progress , Bilbo finds himself in various situations of trouble. Tolkein, as the author , does well at portraying Bilbo’s world. Tolkein also emphasizes the mood of the story very much. As well as the character development associated with it.

The setting ,as previously stated, is described very well or more specifcaly it is described vividly. Tolkein takes no expense at describing the important details. While still keeping the description brief and intresting. This is something most authors can not even strive to. This is best used at the beginning of the book where Tolkein describes The Shire Tolkein gives the reader a clear image of The Shire, without taking more than one page describing it. Another thing Tolkien does well in writing The Hobbit is the mood development in the story. The book begins at the shire a happy wonderful place where nothing goes wrong, as the book progresses the mood gets darker and more mature with the climax being a bloody, dark battle. Tolkein does this uniquely and well. So well and unique that it becomes an entity of the book, itself. The character development associated with it must now also be noted. From the beginning the story starts with Bilbo as a weak, quiet, and tempid hobbit by the climax Bilbo has completely changed into a dangerous, brave, adeventurous Hobbit. What must also be noted is
Please I beg of you to review and edit my essay. I need this for a very high grade. I know it is VERY poorly written.
Hi,

OK, I've picked out the worst problems for you in pink. You really need to work on your puncuation and the structure of your sentences; some are being chopped in half when a linking word would help everything flow properly.A couple of poor word choices (unrealism, unique).

Fantasy books are amazing. They embody the unrealism to make it the one type of literature that truly has elements of something that could never happen in reality. There are a seeming infinite amount of fantasy books. The Hobbit is one of those. The Hobbit is an extraordinarily great fantasy book. It revolves around the main protagonist Bilbo and his journey of retrieving treasure from a dragon. Bilbo is aided by his friend Gandalf and twelve dwarves of whom the treasure belongs to. As the journey progress , Bilbo finds himself in various situations of trouble. Tolkein, as the author , does well at portraying Bilbo’s world. Tolkein also emphasizes the mood of the story very much. As well as the character development associated with it.

The setting ,as previously stated, is described very well or more specifcaly it is described vividly. Tolkein takes no expense at describing the important details. While still keeping the description brief and intresting. This is something most authors can not even strive to. This is best used at the beginning of the book where Tolkein describes The Shire Tolkein gives the reader a clear image of The Shire, without taking more than one page describing it. Another thing Tolkien does well in writing The Hobbit is the mood development in the story. The book begins at the shire a happy wonderful place where nothing goes wrong, as the book progresses the mood gets darker and more mature with the climax being a bloody, dark battle. Tolkein does this uniquely and well. So well and unique that it becomes an entity of the book, itself. The character development associated with it must now also be noted. From the beginning the story starts with Bilbo as a weak, quiet, and tempid hobbit by the climax Bilbo has completely changed into a dangerous, brave, adeventurous Hobbit. What must also be noted is
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Hello Alexempire:

I made some changes to your essay.

Here it goes:

Fantasy books are amazing. They embody the extraordinary[1], which make them the one type of literature that truly contains elements of something that could never happen in reality. There are a semingly infinite amount of fantasy books. The Hobbit by J.R.R. Tolkien is a book that is worth mentioning. It revolves around Bilbo Baggins, the protagonist of the story, and his journey to retrieve a treasure from a dragon named Smaug. Bilbo is aided by his wizard friend, Gandalf the Grey, and twelve dwarves to whom the stolen treasure belongs. As the journey progresses, Bilbo finds himself in various situations of trouble. Tolkien does well at portraying Bilbo's world. He also puts great emphazis on the mood of the story, and the character development associated with it.
The book's settings, are vividly described by the author. He spares no expense[2] when it comes to describing important details, while still keeping the description brief and interesting. This is something most authors cannot achieve[3]. Tolkien's lucid and concise descriptions can best be seen in the beegining of the book, where Tolkien describes The Shire. There, he provides the reader with a clear image of The Shire, without taking more than one page to describe it. Another thing that I like about Tolkien's "The Hobbit" is its mood development[4]. The book begins at The Shire, a happy, and wonderful place where nothing goes wrong. As the book progresses, the mood gets darker and more mature, with the climax being a bloody battle. The author develops the mood notably well; so well that the mood becomes an entity of the book, itself [5]. The character development associated with it must also be noted. In the beginning of the story, Bilbo is a weak, quiet and tepid[6*] Hobbit. By the climax, he has completely changed into a dangerous, brave, and adventurous hobbit.

[1] unrealism didn't sound good. I replaced it with the word "extraordinary, but you could replace it with "unrealistic" if you want.
[2] I changed "takes no expense" to "spares no expense" because I think that that's what you meant. You could also replaced it with "has no restraints" to express that the author doesn't limit himself to describe the scenery, but does so using few and precise words..
[3] I don't think that the verb to strive(to attempt by employing effort) works here because other writers can try to make their descriptions brief and interesting. However, they might not achieve it.
[4] I thought your essay was about the book, not the author. Therefore, I changed the sentence a little.
[5] I left this sentence as it was before because I didn't understand it. Entity means something that has a separate and distinct existence. Does the mood become a separate part from the book?
[6*] tempid is not a word. May be you misspelled the word tepid (lacking enthusiasm; halfhearted, uninspired).

I hope this helps Emotion: wink
Thank you! You helped me get back into the habit of writing. I would also like opinons from more people though. I am sorry that I forgot to mention that this report needs to be written in 3rd person only.