Has modern life changes so much that wild animals have no longer existed in the 21st century? It seems to me that it is governments’s duty to conserve wildlife and wild animals as they, throughout the ages, play an important role in both our life and environment.
First and foremost, wild animals are believed to protect ecological stability and balance. For instance, predatory like wolves serve a purpose for ecosystem by hunting herbivores such as deer. In other words, were wolves destroyed, deer would be free in eating plans, increasing their population in uncontrollable way, which seriously spoil the nature and wildlife.
What is more, it could be argued that wild animals, in terms of economic, bring a huge amount of revenue for the benefit of human. As a matter of fact that animals appearing on television programs, advertisements and TV shows are attractive and appealing to human. For instance, people are immediately attracted by wild animals as they usually go to the zoos, camping in the mountain or forest, visit the safari and so on. As a result, government and business could easily gain a great deal of money, those which might help to develop a country’s economic.
Contrary to popular belief, on the other hand, there are some people who claim that it is a waste of money to protecting wild animals. It cannot be denied that government might have paid a considerable sum of money on saving wildlife, however, compared to the benefit that animals bring, it is worth channelling fund into the conservation of wild animal.
All things considered, I therefore believe that wild animals are in need of being protected, especially the endangered animals. In other words, each one of us has a commission to conserve wild animals as we are protecting our life.

Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic: Wild animals have no place in 21st century, and the protection is a waste of resource. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Has modern life changes (wrong verb form) so much that wild animals have no longer existed (wrong verb form) in the 21st century? It seems to me that it is governments’s (wrong form) duty to conserve wildlife and wild animals as they, throughout the ages, play an important role in both our life and environment. (Separate your paragraphs clearly - with a blank line between them. Further, you did not answer the essay question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You need to answer clearly with an adverb of extent. Examples: thoroughly, completely, totally, wholeheartedly, unequivocally, partly, partially, somewhat, a little bit.)


First and foremost, wild animals are believed to protect ecological stability and balance. For instance, predatory (wrong usage. Predatory is an adjective. You must have a noun after it. Use the noun form - predator) like wolves serve a purpose for in the ecosystem by hunting herbivores such as deer. In other words, were wolves destroyed, deer would be free in eating plans, (wrong phrase) increasing their population in uncontrollable way, which seriously spoil the nature and wildlife. (I do not understand your point. If there were too many deer, there would not be enough food for them, and weak ones would die of starvation rather than predation. )
What is more, it could be argued that wild animals, in terms of economic, (wrong usage. Economic is an adjective. You must have a noun after it. ) bring a large huge amount of revenue for the benefit of human. (wrong usage. "human" is a single person or an adjective. Avoid "human" except in set phrases - "human rights", "human values," and "human beings". Use pronouns instead. ) As a matter of fact that animals appearing on television programs, advertisements and TV shows are attractive and appealing to human. For instance, people are immediately attracted by wild animals as they usually go to the zoos, camping in the mountain or forest, visit the safari and so on. (Do not use ellipses, "etc." and phrases such as "and so on" in formal essays.) As a result, government and business could easily gain a great deal of money, those which might help to develop a country’s economic.
Contrary to popular belief, on the other hand, there are some people who claim that it is a waste of money to protecting (wrong verb form) wild animals. It cannot be denied that the government might have paid a considerable sum of money on saving wildlife, however, compared to the benefit that animals bring, (wrong punctuation. This is a comma splice error. The sentence is ungrammatical. ) it is worth channelling fund (wrong form) into the conservation of wild animal. (wrong form)
All things considered, I therefore believe that wild animals are in need of being protected, especially the endangered animals. In other words, each one of us has a commission to conserve wild animals as we are protecting our own lives. life.