The use of social media is replacing face-to-face interaction among many people in society. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?
Thanks to the advancement of technology, social networking has been introduced to connect individuals together. However, some people propose that this is the main culprit in reducing direct communication. From my perspective, albeit having a few negative ramifications, social media has more benefits to society.
Granted, social networking sites exert adverse effects on people's real-life day-to-day interactions. One demerit worth mentioning is that it has a detrimental influence on a person’s process of growth. This is predicated on the assumption that communication skills and the ability to understand and appeal to other’s feeling are best developed through social conversations such as attending music club or playing football in a team, while it is a common phenomenon these days that a huge number of people devote a significant proportion of their time using technological gadgets. Therefore, the failure to hone those vital skills will certainly result in them being socially awkward, and failing to meet the many requirements of adulthood such as cooperation or living with others in harmony. Another drawback is that individuals have a tendency to neglect their real-life relationships and focus on their activities on social media. Take teenagers, who are impressionable, as an illustration, they are likely to find making new acquaintances online easier than doing it in real life, so they might indulge in virtual friends rather than their family in the outside world.
Despite the repercussions noted above, I believe that social networking has more merits. Firstly, the number of people working from home has been on the rise because of numerous positive effects such as avoiding traffic jams or geographical distances, but the most important of which is the convenience of social media. A good example is for businessmen, most of them have chosen such technologies to establish pages or groups in order to promote their products. This not only helps them save substantial costs associated with renting an office and staff but also allows them to approach various types of customers. Secondly, social networking sites can be the place for ones who have something in common concentrating. For example, photo sharing applications like Instagram can bring a group who have the same taste in fashion, or online food forums connect people who share a passion for culinary arts. This is a workable method to strengthen the bond in the community.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the advantages of using social media as the primary means of communication overshadow the disadvantages that it has.
You wrote over 400 words. The minimum is 250.
You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.
First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.
Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.
Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.
Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.
Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.
Aim to write 270-290 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.
You can use this word counter: https://www.ieltsscore.com/word-counter/
Thanks to the internet and communications technologies, advancement of technology, (The advancement of technology is nothing new. It has been going on for a hundred thousand years. This phrase is extremely vague.) social networking has been designed introduced to connect individuals together. However, some people propose assert that this is the main culprit in reducing direct communication. From my perspective, albeit having despite a few negative ramifications, social media has more benefits to society.
Granted, social networking sites exert adverse effects on people's real-life day-to-day interactions. One demerit (wrong word. Demerit is not the opposite of merit or advantage.) worth mentioning is that it has a detrimental influence on a young person’s process of growth. (Adults already have completed their growth.) This is predicated on the assumption that communication skills and the ability to understand and appeal to other’s feelings are best developed through social conversations (Attending a meeting is not a social conversation.) such as when attending a music club meeting or playing football in a team, (End of sentence. If you keep going on, you lose control of the sentence structure. You will lose points for coherence and cohesion. The next part does not logically follow as a cohesive argument.) while it is a common phenomenon (wrong word) However, these days that a huge number of many people devote a significant proportion of their time to social media and do not get the value from these personal interactions. using technological gadgets. (That is not a natural phrase. ) Therefore, the failure to hone those vital skills will certainly result in them being socially awkward, and failing to meet the many requirements of a successful adult adulthood such as cooperation or living with others in harmony. Another drawback is that individuals have a tendency to neglect their real-life relationships and focus on their activities on social media. Take teenagers, who are impressionable, as an illustration, (Comma splice error. Ungrammatical sentence.) illustration. They are likely to find making new acquaintances online easier than doing it in real life, so they might indulge in (wrong word) virtual friends rather than their family in the outside world.
Despite these negatives, repercussions noted above, (Learn to use demonstrative determiners (adjectives) rather than phrases such as "mentioned / noted above" or "aforementioned." That is a sign of advanced command of the language. ) I believe that (Put the "I believe" clause only in the introduction and conclusion. The body paragraphs are for your supporting arguments. ) social networking has more merits. Firstly, First, the number of people working from home has been on the rise because of numerous the positive effects such as avoiding traffic jams (Avoiding geographical distances makes no sense.) or geographical distances, but the most important of which is the convenience of social media. A good example is for businessmen, (Comma splice error. Ungrammatical sentence.) most of them have chosen such technologies (wrong word) to establish websites or Facebook groups pages or groups in order to promote their products. This not only helps them save substantial costs associated with renting an office and staff but also allows them to approach (wrong word) various types of customers. Secondly, Second, social networking sites can be the place for ones (wrong word) those who have something in common to mingle and chat. concentrating. (wrong word, wrong form) For example, photo sharing applications like Instagram can bring a group of people who have the same taste in fashion, or and online food forums connect people who share a passion for culinary arts. This is a workable method to strengthens the bond in the community.
In conclusion, I am of the opinion that the advantages of using social media as the primary means of communication overshadow the disadvantages that it has.
Thank you!