Topic: Some People Believe That Reading Stories From A Book Is Better Than Watching TV Or Playing Computer Games For Children. To What Extent Do You Agree Or Disagree?
Many people believe that reading book is more beneficial for teenagers compared to watching television or playing online games. In my opinion, both reading book and computer games do good as well for the development of children's cognitive and entertainment.
On the one hand, while watching on screen, children can easily gain knowledge as the information disseminated by vivid pictures is easier for them to imbibe. The reason is that programmes on the television are made with eye-catching images and easy-to-understand content.. Furthermore, online games and watching TV programs is the ability to cure boredom. For example, puzzle games enable children to enjoy the combination of entertainment and brainstorm to solve the required questions. As a result, parents result in these measures to make their children's fun-filled.
On the other hand, reading books or novels is the great way of improving literacy, which is essential for young children to have a well-paid job in the future. In terms of interview or presentation, they are able to have a professional conversation as they will be exposed to learn a wide range of vocabularies through those books as well as sentences structures. Therefore, reading provides great opportunities for children to advance their speaking and writing skills. For example, according to the research conducted in the Nigeria, about 60% of school children were able to learn new words through online readings. Overall, this will lead to the positive mental development in children.
In conclusion, it seems to me that, reading good and computer games play an important role in the glow-up of children, parents should create conditions for young to explore both of them.
My TraTopic: Some People Believe That Reading Stories From A Book Is Better Than Watching TV Or Playing Computer Games For Children. To What Extent Do You Agree Or Disagree?
Those are the instructions, correct? The examiner is looking for a clear answer to this question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
You did not answer this question.
In my opinion, both reading books and computer games dogood aswell for the development of children's cognitive and entertainment.
"Development of children's cognitive" makes no sense. "Cognitive" is an adjective. It is not a noun.
"Development of children's entertainment" makes no sense.
The question is:
Do you agree that reading stories is better than watching TV for children?
Yes, or no?
My TraMany people believe that reading books is more beneficial for teenagers
The topic is more about young children, aged 4-10, not teenagers. Parents can read a story from a book to their son or daughter, or they can give the child a computer game console or let them watch TV. Which is better for the child?
My TraOn the one hand,
Do not use this phrase for an opinion essay. Use this phrase for "advantages/disadvantage" or "Discuss both views".
The task does not say "There are two views, reading books or playing games. Discuss both views."
You are writing the wrong kind of essay. 
On the one hand, (wrong usage) while watching on screen, (A computer screen? Like a game?) children can easily gain knowledge as the information disseminated by vivid pictures is easier for them to imbibe. (wrong usage) The reason is that programmes on the television are made with eye-catching images and easy-to-understand content.. Furthermore, online games and watching TV programs is (wrong verb form) the ability (wrong word. A game is not an ability. ) to cure boredom. For example, puzzle games enable children to enjoy the combination of entertainment and brainstorm (wrong form) to solve the required questions. (wrong phrase. ) As a result, parents result (wrong word) in these measures to make their children's days / lives fun-filled.
On the other hand, (wrong usage) reading books or novels is the great way of improving literacy, which is essential for young children to have a well-paid job in the future. (You are writing about a child perhaps 8 years old. They don't even know what they want to be at this age. A job interview is a long long way in the future, isn't it?) In terms of interview or presentation, they are able to have a professional conversation as they will be exposed to learn a wide range of vocabularies (wrong usage) through those books as well as sentences structures. Therefore, reading provides great opportunities for children to advance their speaking and writing skills. For example, according to the research conducted in the Nigeria, about 60% of school children were able to learn new words through online readings. Overall, this will lead to the positive mental development in children.
In conclusion, it seems to me that, (wrong comma) reading good (wrong usage) and computer games play an important role in the glow-up (wrong word) of children, (wrong comma usage) parents should create conditions for young to explore both of them. (You never answered the question in the instructions. If you do not read and follow the instructions, you will get a low score. Pay attention to the type of essay. Give the appropriate response. )