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Task 1: Line Graph-The Graph Below Shows The Number Of Enquiries Received By The Tourist Information Office In One City Over A Six-Month Period In 2011.

My essay:

The chart illustrates how many enquiries being sent to the Tourist Information Office (TIO) in a particular city through 3 main means of communication from January to June in 2011.

Overall, it is noticeable that while the number of enquiries received by TIO via telephone and in person increased significantly, that referring to letter/mail declined. Furthermore, In person enquiries was the most common type of communication for the last 3 months compared to others.

As can be seen obviously, in the initial year, there were the least number of visitors choosing face-to-face enquiries to send, at about 400. However, several months later, people went straight to the office more than they used to be in the first year, surpassing that of letter and mail in between February and March and telephone a month later.

In contrast, both the number of enquiries given through letter/mail and telephone decreased slightly in the first month, from under 800 to about 700 and 900 to 800 respectively. However, people started choosing telephone to send the enquiries more after February, 200 enquiries more than the previous month and kept rising until June, at about 1900 enquiries at last after keeping instant for a month at 1000 people. On the other hand, The number of enquiries received by letter/mail still went down before standing at under 400 in the last two months.

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You wrote over 230 words. The minimum is 150. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons. First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors. Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points. Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the instructions. Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score. Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 2, and get a lower score there.

The instructions always include this instruction:
Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

If you report on every data point, you will lose points for not following the instructions.

You only need three paragraphs to follow these instructions. Introduction, overall, and details.

In Task 1, you are asked to write for a university lecturer. You must use academic vocabulary appropriate for that context.



Please read my advice for Task 1 essays. It will tell you how to fix the wrong words that you have used.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post




The chart (wrong word) illustrates (wrong word) how many enquiries being sent (ungrammatical) to the Tourist Information Office (TIO) in a particular city through 3 (spell out small numbers if they are not data values) main means of communication from January to June in 2011.

Overall, it is noticeable that (extraneous words. Delete them) while the number of enquiries received by TIO (repetitive. You already told the reader which enquiries you are talking about.) via telephone and in person increased significantly, that (wrong pronoun) referring to (wrong word) letter/mail declined. Furthermore, In person enquiries was (wrong form) the most common type of communication for the last 3 months compared to others.

As can be seen obviously, (extraneous words. Delete them) in the initial year, (Which years are you talking about? There are only six months of one single year on this graph.) there were the least number of visitors choosing face-to-face enquiries to send, ("Send" is not the right verb for an in-person discussion.) at about 400. However, several months later, people went straight to the office more than they used to be in the first year, surpassing that of letter and mail in between February and March and telephone a month later. (You wrote a sentence that is too long. It just fell apart grammatically and became unreadable. Write shorter sentences.)

In contrast, both the number of enquiries given through letter/mail and telephone decreased slightly in the first month, from under 800 (50 is under 800, and so is 145. This is not accurate.) to about 700 and 900 to 800 (in such phrases, the smaller number is placed first.) respectively. However, people started choosing telephone to send ("Send" is not the right verb for a phone call.) the enquiries more after February, 200 enquiries more than the previous month and (missing subject) kept rising until June, at about 1900 enquiries at last after keeping instant (wrong word) for a month at 1000 people. (You wrote a sentence that is too long. You did not write a subject for the verb "kept", so it just fell apart grammatically and became unreadable. Write shorter sentences.) On the other hand, The number of enquiries received by letter/mail still went down before standing at under 400 (50 is under 400, and so is 145. This is not accurate.) in the last two months.


Here are some sentences for the detail paragraph:

The growth in in-person enquiries was approximately linear over the period, at an average rate of about 250 per month.

Telephone enquiries also increased, but more erratically. Eighty percent occurred in the latter part of the period between April and June and there was even a slight decline from January to February.

The last method, by email or letter, had a steady decrease of about 50% over the period.

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Please do not put the essay instructions in the "Subject" line.
Put it with your answer in the message body.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:


Topic: The Graph Below Shows The Number Of Enquiries Received By The Tourist Information Office In One City Over A Six-Month Period In 2011. Please copy all the instructions here so we can properly evaluate your task response.


My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
Comments  

I rewrite this essay. Thank you for checking my essay.

The line chart presents how many enquiries were sent to the Tourist Information Office (TIO) in a particular city through three main means of communication from January to June in 2011.

Overall, while the number of enquiries via telephone and in person increased significantly, that related to letter/mail declined. Furthermore, in-person enquiries was the most common type of communication for the last three months compared to others.

In January, there were the least number of visitors requiring face-to-face enquiries, at about 400. However, several months later, people went straight to the office more than they used to in the first year. This created a linear growth over the period at an average rate of about 250 per month.

In contrast, both the number of enquiries given through letter/mail and telephone decreased slightly after the first month. However, people started choosing telephone to make the enquiries more after February, at an increase rate of a least 200 enquiries each month. On the other hand, the last method, by mail or letter, had a steady decrease of about 50% over the period.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hà TrầnI rewrote this essay. Thank you for checking my essay.
Topic: 

The graph below shows the number of enquiries received by the Tourist Information Office in one city over a six-month period in 2011.

Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The line chart (wrong word. There are pie charts, bar charts, Gantt charts, organizational charts and flow charts. There is no such thing as a line chart! ) presents how many enquiries were received by sent to the Tourist Information Office (TIO) in a particular city through three main means of communication from January to June in 2011. These were in person, by a written form in letter or email, or by telephone.

Overall, while the number of enquiries via telephone and in person increased significantly, those in the written forms, that related to letter/mail declined. Although in-person contacts were the least common at the beginning of the year, they were Furthermore, in-person enquiries was the most common type of communication over the last three months compared to others.

In January, there were the least number of visitors requiring about 400 face-to-face enquiries; however, people came into the office more and more frequently during the period. at about 400. However, several (how many?) months later, people went straight to the office more than they used to in the first year. (Wrong -" the first year" means that there are two or more years on the graph.) This resulted in created a linear growth over the period at an average rate of about 250 per month.

In contrast, both the number of enquiries given through coming into the office via letter/mail and telephone decreased slightly after the first month. However, people started to call the office choosing telephone to make the enquiries more after February, increasing at an increase rate of a least an average of 200 enquiries each month. On the other hand, the last method, by mail or letter, had a steady decrease of about 50% over the period, from just under 800 to a little under 400.

AlpheccaStarsThe growth in in-person enquiries was approximately linear over the period,

I'm really sorry to bother you.

But what does 'linear' in this sentence mean?

I cannot find a suitable explanation for this word in the dictionary.

Thank you a lot!!!

Nhật BìnhBut what does 'linear' in this sentence mean?

See entries #2 and #3. It is not an exact straight line, but nearly so.

https://www.collinsdictionary.com/dictionary/english/linear


More precisely, the best fit is a piecewise linear curve with two line segments.

But that is higher-level math than is expected in task 1.

Nhật BìnhI'm really sorry to bother you.

You are not bothering at all. I Emotion: love students who ask questions. They are really reading my posts.

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.

I have written pounds instead off dollar in writing task 1 how much marks do I loose or how much can I get from these silly mistakes?