Topic: Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high school programmes (for example working for a charity, improving the neighborhood or teaching sports to younger children).

To what extent do you agree or disagree?

My essay:

Volunteer activities are suggested to be included in the high school curricula compulsively. While I agree that taking part in community services can be beneficial for the students and society in general, I strongly believe that we should not force young people to do unpaid work.

It is undeniable that the main principle of unpaid community services is that it only works best basing on the volunteer spirit of participants. Therefore, forcing high school students joining in these activities not only goes agaisnt their will, but also hamper their own working or studying schedules and could potentially harm ones in need. More specifically, students who are not particularly enthusiastic about teaching sports for young children can neglect their duties or just do not want to make connection with the children. Either way is a waste of time and likely to hurt the feeling of those who are helped.

Furthermore, high school curricula are usually loaded with various subjects and extracurrucular activities. As a resullt, putting additional responsibility may impose undue burden on students' studies which already take up most of their time with homework and exams. With little spare time left, young people should be encouraged to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing leisure activities such as bicycling, reading or listening to music. Therefore, high school students in such an impressionable age should take care of themselves first, both physically and mentally, rather than participate in community services. They have manty years of work ahead when finishing their study.

In conclusion, teenagers may choose to do unpaid work and help others, but I am of the opinion that we should not make it compulsory.

vannhi0501To what extent do you agree or disagree?

When the essay question is: To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?, your answer requires an adverb of extent.
What adverbs of extent do you know?

I asked you this question before, but you didn't answer.
I will give you some feedback on this essay after you answer the question.

I have given you a lot of feedback, but only once have you acknowledged my comments. I don't know if you are getting any benefit.

I'm sorry. I had misunderstood. I thought it was a rhetorical question which I had to do research myself.

Don't get me wrong. I greatly appreciate your help. I had rewritten all the essays in a notebook according to your suggestion. I just didn't want to bother you with too many question.

In response to your question, some adverbs of extent that I know are highly, strongly, completely, totally, partly and not completely.

In my most recently essay, I used "strongly believe" to answer the essay question. Is it right?

Students: We have free audio pronunciation exercises.
vannhi0501In response to your question, some adverbs of extent that I know are highly, strongly, completely, totally, partly and not completely.

Some of those are adverbs of extent.

Here is a list:

totally
completely
fully, wholeheartedly
without reservation

mostly
partly, partially
somewhat
with reservations
to some extent

a little bit
not at all


"with certain reservations" / "with a few reservations" / "with some minor reservations" are very high level phrases. It means that you mostly agree (or disagree), but there are some particular aspects or points on which you object. These are points you will mention in the body paragraphs.

vannhi0501I had rewritten all the essays in a notebook according to your suggestion. I just didn't want to bother you with too many question.

I am not bothered by questions; on the contrary, they show that a student is learning something, which is my main purpose in volunteering for this website.


You should post your revised essays for further evaluation. That way, you will be confident of your corrections.

Volunteer activities are suggested to be included in the high school curricula compulsively. (wrong expression. You are saying that this suggestion is compulsory.) While I agree that taking part in community services can be beneficial for the students and society in general, I strongly totally disagree, believing that we should not force young people to do unpaid work.

It is undeniable that The main principle of unpaid community services is that it only works best when the participants are strongly committed to volunteerism. basing on the volunteer spirit of participants. (Poor English. I do not understand. I tried to rephrase is. Anyway, that is not really a "principle". ) Therefore, forcing high school students joining in these activities not only goes agaisnt their will, but also hamper (wrong form.) their own working or studying schedules and could potentially harm the ones in need. More specifically, students who are not particularly enthusiastic about teaching sports to for young children can neglect their duties or just do not want (wrong form.) to make connection with the children. Either way is a waste of time and likely to hurt the feeling (wrong form.) of those who are helped.

Furthermore, high school curricula are usually loaded with various subjects and extracurrucular activities. As a resullt, putting additional responsibility may impose undue burden on students' studies (You already made that point in the previous paragraph. Repetition will cause you to lose points.) which already take up most of their time with homework and exams. With little spare time left, young people should be encouraged to enjoy it with their friends or to spend it doing leisure activities such as bicycling, reading or listening to music. Therefore, high school students in at such an impressionable age should take care of themselves first, both physically and mentally, rather than participate in community services. They have manty years of work ahead when after finishing their study.

In conclusion, teenagers may choose to do unpaid work and help others, but I am of the opinion that we should not make it compulsory.

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AlpheccaStarsVolunteer activities are suggested to be included in the high school curricula compulsively. (wrong expression. You are saying that this suggestion is compulsory.)

My revised sentence is: " Volunteer activities are suggested to be compulsively included in the high school curricula."

AlpheccaStarsAnyway, that is not really a "principle".

I looked it up in cambridge dictionary to fully understand the word's meaning. I will be more carefull in using words in the following essays.

I rewrote this sentence as "To begin, the paricipants being strongly committed to volunteerism is fundamental to the effectiveness of unpaid community services."

AlpheccaStars but also hamper (wrong form.)

-> hampering?

AlpheccaStarshurt the feeling (wrong form.) of

-> hurt the feelings of

AlpheccaStarsYou already made that point in the previous paragraph. Repetition will cause you to lose points

I understood.

Your recommeded adverbs are really helpful. I will pratice using them in the next essays.

I can't thank you enough for all your advice.

I hope you have a great day ^^

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