Task 2: Some people believe that studying at university or college is the best route to a successful career, while others believe that it is better to get a job straight after school.

Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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My essay:

In these days, there are a number of people arguing that pursuing higher education is the idealist path to become successful, while others think having a job after they finish school is more beneficial. In my opinion, these two paths both have different merits.

There are a variety of benefits when young people choose to study at university or college. First of all, this is one of the most necessary requirements to differentiate the ability of candidates. Most companies require university degrees because they think this is the best scale to compare the capability and knowledge of individuals. Since university provide young people with more qualifications for their career path, they will have more chance to show employers their deep knowledge and have the top salary jobs. Secondly, the university or college degree might help them to choose the best jobs in the competitive markets. While there are a variety of young people earning degrees, it might be hard for them to find a job without any qualifications, but if they pursue higher education at the university, they could have more opportunities to have a wider range of jobs they want.

However, working straight after graduation provides many merits too. First, young people could be more independent from their parents. They can earn their own money, and thus, buying things they want is possible. In particular, owning a house or buying a car at their young age is on their own hands. Second, this path will help them master their profesions faster than pursing higher degrees. They could have more time to experience practical skills related to their chosen jobs right after they finish school, leads to faster promotion.

In conclusion, each paths has its own benefits. Studying higher in university or college might be suitable for who has the academic ability, whereas working straighforwardly after school will be best for people who like to be successful in a faster way. However, I think I would choose to study in university or college because of its merits in the long run.

Thank you!

You wrote over 340 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high scores. There are many reasons.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for these errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even contradict yourself.

Fourth, you will take a lot of time writing, and not have time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time to spend on Task 1, and get a lower score there.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a good feeling for the right length.



In these days, there are a number of people arguing that pursuing higher education is the idealist (wrong word. Idealist is a noun; a person with high ideals.) path to become successful, while others think having a job after they finish school is more beneficial. In my opinion, these two paths both have different merits.( You did not answer the essay prompt. It is "tell the reader which position you think is better." The observation "both have merits" is not an opinion on this subject at all. Almost everything has some merits. You should take one side or the other and present a thesis statement. You have lost points here on "task completion.")

There are a variety of benefits when young people choose to study at university or college. First of all, a university degree this is one of the most necessary required for many jobs. requirements to differentiate the ability of candidates. Most companies require university degrees because they think this is the best means of comparing scale to compare the capability and knowledge of individuals. Since university (wrong form) provide young people with more qualifications for their a career path, they will have more chance to show employers their deep knowledge and get chosen for have the top salary jobs. (You have a lot of repetition here. The point could have been made in one sentence.) Secondly, the university or college degree might help them to choose the best jobs in the competitive markets. While there are a variety of young people earning degrees, it might be hard for them to find a job without any qualifications, but if they pursue higher education at the university, they could will have more opportunities to have a wider range of jobs they want.

However, working straight after graduation has provides many merits too. First, young people could be more independent from their parents. They can earn their own money, and thus, they can buy buying things they want is possible. In particular, owning a house or buying a car at their young age is on in their own hands. Second, this path will help them master their profesions faster than pursing higher degrees. They could have more time to develop experience practical skills related to their chosen jobs right after they finish school, leads (wrong form) to faster promotion.

In conclusion, each paths (wrong form) has its own benefits. Studying higher in university or college might be suitable for whoever has the academic ability, whereas working directly straighforwardly after school will be best for people who would like to be successful very quickly. in a faster way. However, I think I would choose to study in university or college because of its merits in the long run. (You contradicted your thesis statement in the first paragraph.)

Hi. Thank you for your answer. Can I just ask that when you said I contradicted my thesis statement in the first paragraph, does it mean I have to say which side I think it's better after commenting that these two paths both have merits?

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
Hà Trần 8023 I have to say which side I think it's better after commenting that these two paths both have merits?

Yes absolutely. Use an introductory dependent clause.

When you say "both have merits" and stop there, you are telling the reader that you are undecided, ambivalent, or neutral on the two options. Both are equally acceptable.

It is a contradiction then to say in the conclusion that you do have a choice of one over the other.

The way to fix this problem is to write a thesis statement for the first paragraph in which you declare your choice.

e.g.

Although both of these options have merits, I firmly believe that....

The introduction and conclusion paragraphs of an essay are like a pair of bookends. They must support each other, with the argument points, the body paragraphs, in between.



Thank you! That's really helpful!