Topic:

The three pie charts below show the changes in annual spending by a particular UK school in 1981, 1991 and 2001.

My essay:

The three pie charts break down the total expenditure of one particular UK school, for 1981, 1991 and 2001, into five budget categories.

Overall, the school paid far more for the mandatory spending categories (salaries and insurance) than the discretionary ones (furniture and equipment, and resources), with paying teachers being the most costly. Furniture and equipment had the largest increase, surpassing other staff’s salaries to end as second-highest position in 2001.

In detail, only two of the five categories, insurance and non-teaching staff’s payment, had a continuous trend. While the former quadrupled from 2% in 1981 to 8% in 2001, the latter dropped by about 6.5% every ten years, ending at 15%. The proportions of the other groups either peaked, teachers’ salaries (a half) and resources (one-fifth), or dipped, furniture and equipment (5%), in the middle year, 1991. Besides insurance, teachers’ salaries, as well as furniture and equipment, also gain a larger share in 2001 compared to 1981, from 40% to 45% and 15% to 23%, respectively. In contrast, the relative cost of resources, taking 15% in 1981, decreased to 9% at the end of the period.

Thanks a lot!

The three pie charts break down the total expenditure of one particular UK school, for 1981, 1991 and 2001, into five budget categories.

Overall, teachers’ salaries represented the largest sector in each of those years, [ 1] the school paid far more for the mandatory spending categories (salaries and insurance) than the discretionary ones (furniture and equipment, and resources), with paying teachers being the most costly. While furniture and equipment had the largest increase, surpassing other staff’s salaries to end as in second -highest position in 2001.

In detail, only two of the five categories, insurance and non-teaching staff’s [ 2] payments, had a continuous trend. While the former quadrupled from 2% in 1981 to 8% in 2001, the latter dropped by about 6.5% per decade every ten years, ending at 15%.

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[ 1]: We do not know for certain if insurance is mandatory. Moreover, it did not represent a large percentage of spending.

[ 2]: When we talk about something in general, we use the plural (if it is countable).

The rest of your text is clumsy. Try to write two or three short paragraphs to cover the other categories. Do not unnecessarily complicate your sentences. Revise and post below.

The spending share for the other categories varied over the period, and salaries for teachers had the smallest variation, ranging between 40% and 50%. In contrast, furniture and equipment had the largest change; it took only 5% of the total spending in 1991, but increased markedly to a quarter ten years later, to end in second position.

Although resources represented a fairly large share in 1981 (15%) and 1991 (20%), it ended just slightly more than the least costly categories, insurance, 9% versus 8%.

I try to rewrite the overview, would you mind reviewing it? Thank you so much.

Overall, the school consistently paid far more for employees' salaries than they did for the other three categories. The smallest sector was insurance in each of those three years, whereas teachers' payment was the highest.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
minhnguyetI have tried to rewrite the overview, would you mind reviewing it? Thank you so much.

OK, but "payments".

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The spending shares for of the other categories varied over the that period, and salaries for teachers had the smallest variation, ranging between 40% and 50%. In contrast, furniture and equipment had the largest change; it took accounted for only 5% of the total spending in 1991, but it increased markedly to a quarter ten years later, to end in second position.

Although resources spending on school equipment and furniture represented a fairly large notable share in 1981 (15%) and 1991 (20%), it ended just slightly more than the least costly categories, at a level similar to insurance at just under 10%. , 9% versus 8%.

I'm sorry for making the same mistake again. I will study closely to your review. Thank you so much.