Task 1: The table and pie chart give information about the population in Australia according to different nationalities and areas. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

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My essay:

The circle graph shows the percentage of different nationalities who live in Australia, while the table compares the population between staying in the city and the countryside.

Overall, the majority of residents in Australia are Australian. Furthermore, the proportion of people living in the urban area is far higher than that in the suburban one.

In the pie chart, around two-thirds of the citizens in Australia are Australian, at 73%, followed by other nationalities, stood at 14%, New Zealander, Chinese and Dutch with 3%, 2%, and 1% respectively.

On the other hand, although Australians have the highest population among other nationalities, the percentage of Australian people in the city is the least, stood at 80%. Moreover, around 83% to 99% of other nationalities, including Dutch, British, New Zealander, and Chinese, stay in the city of Australia. In particular, most Chinese residents choose the city to live in, holding at 99% compared to 1% of them staying in the countryside.

Please review my essay, please. Thank you!

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The circle graph (There is no such term as "circle graph". Read my vocabulary advice for the correct names of these figures.) shows the percentage of (incorrect. It is percentage of the population, not percentage of nationalities) different nationalities who live in Australia and their percentage of the total population, while the table compares the population between staying (wrong word) in the city and the countryside. (Your paragraph is not complete. What nationalities are there? )


In the phrase percentage of X, "X" means what is the total or the whole being divided.


Overall, the majority of residents in Australia are Australian. Furthermore, the proportion of people living in the urban areas is far higher than that in the suburban (wrong word. Suburbs are areas just outside the city boundaries. They are not the countryside.) one.

In the pie chart, around two-thirds just under three-quarters of the citizens in Australia are Australian, at 73%, followed by other nationalities, (This is not good. Dutch, Chinese and British are "other nationalities. They are not Australian.) stood at (Not a good expression. It is past tense. The rest of your writing is present tense.) 14%, New Zealander, Chinese and Dutch with 3%, 2%, and 1% respectively.

On the other hand, (Not a good transition) although Australians have the highest population among other nationalities, the percentage of Australian people in the city is the least, stood at 80%. Moreover, around 83% to 99% of other nationalities, including Dutch, British, New Zealanders, and Chinese, stay in the city of Australia. (Australia is not a city. The country of Australia has many cities.) In particular, most Chinese residents choose the city to live in, holding at (Not a good expression.) 99% compared to 1% of them staying in the countryside.


Example essay:
This example is a bit too long, but will give some ideas of how to describe an infographic, in this case, which a combination of a chart and table.


The pie chart and table give information about different nationalities that comprise the population of Australia. Five groups are shown: Australians, British, New Zealanders, Chinese and Dutch. Specifically, the pie chart depicts the proportion of the population each group represents, and the table lists the percentages of each group that live in the cities and in the rural areas.

Overall, just under three-quarters of the population are natives, people born in the country. When lumped together, the other four nationalities explicitly listed make up only 13%. That is 1% less than all the groups which are not mentioned separately. Most citizens, regardless of national origin, live in cities.

In particular, the British are the largest segment of these minority groups, making up 7% of the population. The next largest, less than half that of the British, are the New Zealanders with 3%. That is about equal in size to the other two, the Chinese and the Dutch, taken together. These minority groups are even more concentrated in cities than the Australians; two out of ten of whom live outside an urban area. The Dutch come the closest in matching this distribution, with 83% in cities and 17% in the rural areas. The extreme is the Chinese; ninety-nine out of a hundred reside in a city.

Hi. I've read several websites that guild how to write IELTS task 1 essays. Some said that we should not put the static numbers in the overall paragraph, is it right?

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Hà Trần 8023 Some said that we should not put the static numbers in the overall paragraph, is it right?

It is a gross oversimplification. What they mean is this:

Do not repeat the same information in the detail paragraph that you put in the overall paragraph. The easiest simplistic "rule" is not to write any numbers at all in the overview.

For example,

Overall, the majority of residents in Australia are Australian.

In detail, nearly three quarters of the population of Australia consists of people who were born there.

That follows the "rule" but an examiner would consider it to be quite repetitive and not give a good score. The points are the same except for the number.

There are better ways to avoid writing the same information more than once. You can lump categories together in the overview, and break down detailed numbers when you do comparisons.

The purpose of the "overview" is to present the "main features."

If you read my example essay, there is no duplication at all. The percentage of Australians was in the "main features" and not mentioned again in the "detailed comparisons."

Thank you! I understand now.

And one more question. If the pie chart uses the percentage of..., in this situation, can I use the number of people?

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseReviewIeltsTaskEssayThank/bpzgnm/post.htm

Hà Trần 8023 If the pie chart uses the percentage of..., in this situation, can I use the number of people?

Number means count. There are some conditions where you can use "number of people" with a pie chart and percentages.

For example,

Hotel Paradise gave a survey to 100 guests regarding their satisfaction with their stay.

Here are the survey results:


Since there were 100 people in the survey, the percentage is the same as the number of people.

You can write: five people thought the hotel stay was horrible.

Here is another example

Hotel Paradise gave a survey to all their guests in November, 2019 regarding their satisfaction with their stay.


Here you can use "number of people" because this information is on the chart as well as the percentage. You can write: twenty-four people thought the hotel stay was horrible.


For the population of Australia, you have no idea what the total number is. But you can use numbers in comparisons or ratios, since the total is constant.

For example: There were more than twice as many British as New Zealanders.

Out of every hundred residents, seven are British and three are New Zealanders.

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.

Hi. I just wonder if there are two graphs in the same essay, how do we write the overall for two of them? Do we need to separate the overall for each graph?

Furthermore, if a graph shows the changes throughout the years from the past to the present, which tense should we use for this chart?

I tried to write an essay about these two graphs and do not know whether I did it right. Please check my essay, please!!

https://www.englishforums.com/English/PleaseReviewIeltsTaskEssayThank/bpzjvh/post.htm

Thank you!!

Hà Trần 8023Hi. I just wonder if there are two graphs in the same essay, how do we write the overall for two of them? Do we need to separate the overall for each graph?

The two figures (tables, charts, or graphs) will always be related to each other. You have to look at them together and derive the overall observations. Put them in the second "overall" paragraph.

Hà Trần 8023Furthermore, if a graph shows the changes throughout the years from the past to the present, which tense should we use for this chart?

You have to treat this as two different data sets. One is actual recorded data; the other is derived from a formula or model. Here is an example.

Use past tense for actual data, because it is in the past, and passive voice verbs such as "projected, forecast, predicted, expected" for the future (modeled ) data.

Use present tense in describing the chart and past tense for reporting actual data values. You can use future for values that are predicted. A native speaker uses different tenses according to what they are writing about.


For example, here are tenses of verbs for this chart.

The time series bar chart plots (present) the annual US government payments for its senior citizen health care system, Medicare, from 2010 to 2029 along with their percentage of the federal budget and the growth rate of the gross domestic product (GDP). The date of the chart is (present) 2018, so the values for the first eight years are (present) actual, and forecast (present) for the last decade, 2019-2029.

Overall, the payments increase (present) over time as well as their percentage of the federal budget. The actual data demonstrates (present) an upwards trend with slight year-over-year variations. There was (past) no change in the GDP growth during this period. The projections show (present) a 50% rise in the outlays over the last decade.

In detail, the outlays were (past) $446 billion in 2010, which represented (past) 12.9% of the federal budget. By 2029, these are expected (present) to be $1.3 trillion amounting to 18.3%. In that year, if the model is (present) correct, its share of government spending will be (future) 5.4% more than it was (past) in 2010. In the last year of recorded, data, 2018, the outlays were (past) $605 billion, which was (past) 14.7% of all government expenditures. The GDP went up (past) at rates averaging 3%. The model assumes greater growth of the GDP, from 3.0 in 2019 to 4.1% in 2029.

Hà Trần 8023I tried to write an essay about these two graphs and do not know whether I did it right. Please check my essay, please!!

I gave you some feedback on that essay. Please do not use defective topics.

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