I'm preparing for IELTS and need help improving my writing, since I can't edit my previous post, I made a new one. Thank you.


The prompt:

The graph below gives information about how much people in the United States and the United Kingdom spend on fuel.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.



My essay:

The line graph shows data regarding fuel expenditure between people of the United States and the United Kingdom.

Overall, the spending in relation to the percentage of income rises in the United Kingdom the richer people get. Whereas the trend is the opposite of the United Kingdom's in America. The spending on income ratio of each nation converges at approximately four percent as people transition from middle-income to high income.

According to the data, people of the United Kingdom's poorest group spend the least, less than one percent of their income on fuel. In contrast to that of American people, which is around 4 to 5.5 percent. The ratio rises as people approach the middle class, ranging from around 2.5 to 4 percent. From that point on however, the ratio stops increasing and fluctuates around four percent in the richest group.

In the United States, the general trend is that the poorest spends the most on fuel, around four to little less than six percent as mentioned above, and the richest spends the least, from 4% to between 3% and 2%. The middle class spends less and less as people get richer, dropping from five to little over four percent.

I'm preparing for IELTS and need help improving my writing, thank you.


The prompt:

The graph below gives information about how much people in the United States and the United Kingdom spend on fuel.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

My essay:

The line graph shows data regarding fuel expenditure between people of the United States and the United Kingdom.

Overall, the spending in relation to the percentage of income rises in the United Kingdom the richer people get. Whereas the trend is the opposite of the United Kingdom's in America. The spending on income ratio of each nation converges at approximately four percent as people transition from middle-income to high income.

According to the data, people of the United Kingdom's poorest group spend the least, less than one percent of their income on fuel. In contrast to that of American people, which is around 4 to 5.5 percent. The ratio rises as people approach the middle class, ranging from around 2.5 to 4 percent. From that point on however, the ratio stops increasing and fluctuates around four percent in the richest group.

In the United States, the general trend is that the poorest spends the most on fuel, around four to little less than six percent as mentioned above, and the richest spends the least, from 4% to between 3% and 2%. The middle class spends less and less as people get richer, dropping from five to little over four percent.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

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My essay:

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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:

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Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post


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Sorry, I'm making another post with the image included. Is it possible for you or any moderator to delete this one?

Just add it to this thread. Click on reply, answer or comment.

Seems like a moderator medged my new pending post into this one, so it has the image now

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The line graph shows data regarding fuel expenditure between (That is not a good description. I do not understand "between" with "show". Those two words do not go together. "Data" is ambiguous. It could be anything.) people of the United States and the United Kingdom. (You never mentioned what the X-axis is. You did not mention the units of measure.)

Overall, the spending as a in relation to the percentage of income (You need to put that information in the first paragraph. It is essential to describing the graph.) rises in the United Kingdom the richer people get. Whereas the trend is the opposite of the United Kingdom's in America. (That makes no sense. ) The spending as a percentage of income on income ratio of (A ratio is two numbers separated by a colon, indicating relative frequency. I do not understand where you get "ratio.") each nation converges at approximately four percent as people transition from middle-income to high income.

According to the data, (That phrase has no information. Delete.) people of the United Kingdom's poorest group spend the least, less than one percent of their income on fuel. In contrast to that of American people, which is around 4 to 5.5 percent. (That is not a grammatical sentence) The ratio (wrong word) percentage rises as people approach the middle class, ranging from around 2.5 to 4 percent. From that point on however, the ratio (wrong word) stops increasing and fluctuates (wrong word - read my advice) around four percent in the richest group.

In the United States, the general trend is that the poorest spends (wrong form) the most on on a relative basis on fuel, around four to little less than six percent as mentioned above, (do not refer to your text. It is a very short passage.)and the richest spends the least, from 4% to between 3% and 2%. The middle class spends proportionately less and less as people get richer, dropping from five to little over four percent.


A ratio is expressed as two numbers, e.g. A and B with a colon in between, A:B. It represents the relative numbers of one group compared to another.

For example:

1. The student-teacher ratio in private schools is lower than in public schools. The average in private schools is 6:1 compared to 30:1 in public schools. (It means that the average class size in private schools is 6, compared to 30 in public schools.)

2. The sex ratio for humans at birth is around 105:100, that is, 105 boy live births compared with 100 girls (ranging from around 103 to 107 boys).

3. The gear ratio on mountain bikes varies from 50:11 (for flat riding) to 34:32 (for climbing steep hills.)


Read my advice, please.

IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice

Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post


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