Topic:
Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
My essay:
We live in an age when some of us tend to carry on the same practice without looking for change . Yet, others always take change as a positive thing. While preventing change in life offers some benefits, I believe that change should always be considered as fortunate.
To begin with, doing unchanged things is beneficial in some aspects. Firstly, practices like doing the same hobby, residing in the same place, occupying the same job are likely to be suitable for kids. Access to a stable education background allows children to develop both academic and soft skills. Moreover, research has found that if children have an early approach to a hobby, and are encouraged to continue it, they form a desire for it and develop cognitive skills. For example, Honda Soichiro - a talented inventor who initiated the industry of cars, had an enormous passion for mechanics, and this later resulted in the renowned car branch - Honda. However, this perception might have some negative effects. For adults or the youth who have gone to work, restricting themselves in a certain place will not only decline the chance of promotion, but also brings the lack of experience.
On the other hand, taking change in a positive viewpoint is likely to offer a wide range of benefits. When it comes to changing, you will always find something new inside yourself, and it extends your chance of success. My father should be a significant example. He used to try out lots of jobs, though none of these fit him well. Nonetheless, with an open attitude to find new things, he is now very successful with a chain of supermarkets. Additionally, keeping modifying things in your life also enriches your experience. Instead of repeatedly doing the same things , simple changes like taking up a new hobby, eating out or finding a new job will motivate you to step out of your comfort zone, hence, broaden your horizons.
Taking everything into consideration, it is arguably that always taking change as a positive thing is considerably important.
Your essay has 340 words. That is a bit too long. Aim for 270-300 words in Task 2.
You did not read my previous feedback on Task 2 essays that are too long.
Much of your essay was not focused on the task, especially the first body paragraph.
We live in an age when Some of us tend to carry on the same daily activities and do not want them to change. practice without looking for change . Yet, others always view / see take change as a positive thing. While preventing (wrong word) change in life refusing to do anything different offers some benefits, I believe that change should always be considered as fortunate.
To begin with, doing unchanged things (wrong phrase. That makes no sense. ) having a set schedule every day is beneficial in some aspects. Firstly, practices like First, doing the same hobby, residing in the same place, and working occupying the same job (Ungrammatical - you left out the necessary conjunction) are likely to be suitable for kids.(wrong word - Children do not decide where to live, their parents do. They also are not employed, but in school. This is off topic.) Access to a stable education background allows children to develop both academic and soft skills. (That is not logical. The task is not about children. It is about adults who never want to try something new. ) Moreover, research has found that if children have an early approach to a hobby, and are encouraged to continue it, they form a desire for it and develop cognitive skills. (Off topic. You are not writing about this subject, but something else.) For example, Honda Soichiro - a talented inventor who initiated the industry of cars, (That is incorrect, and not good English. The automobile industry was founded by Henry Ford in the early 1900's - before Soichiro was born. ) had an enormous passion for mechanics, and this later resulted in the renowned car branch - Honda. However, this perception might have some negative effects. For adults or the youth who have gone to work, restricting themselves in a certain place will not only decline (wrong word) the chance of promotion, but also brings the lack of experience. (I do not understand your example or your argument. This paragraph should describe people who are set in their ways. They are content and happy. They have a job that they like. They have hobbies they like. They have a circle of friends who they have known since they were very young. Their schedule is planned weeks in advance. They go to the same vacation spot every year. They eat the same kinds of food; dishes that their mother fixed for them. They listen to the same style of music. They do not want to make any changes. They see no reason to change what is perfect. )
On the other hand, taking embracing / welcoming change in a positive viewpoint is likely to offer a wide range of benefits. When it comes to changing, you will always find something new inside yourself, and it extends your chance of success. My father should be a significant example. He tried used to try out lots of jobs, though none of these fit him well. Nonetheless, with an open attitude to finding new things, he is now very successful with a chain of supermarkets. Additionally, keeping continually modifying one's activities and interests things in your life also enriches your experience. Instead of repeatedly doing the same things , simple changes like taking up a new hobby, eating out or finding a new job will motivate you to step out of your comfort zone and hence, broaden your horizons.
Taking everything into consideration, it is arguably (wrong word - This is an adverb. It does not fit here.) that always taking change as a positive thing is considerably important. (The last sentence is not good English. e.g. I believe that change is almost always a positive thing and we need to challenge ourselves to try something different.)
Thanks a lot ! And may I have a sample essay, please ?
Vượng phan hữuTopic: Some people prefer to spend their lives doing the same things and avoiding change. Others, however, think that change is always a good thing.
Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There are two kinds of people: those that never want anything in their lives to change, and those that relish change and are always on the lookout for a new challenge. From my perspective, a stable life is satisfying and comfortable, but every once in a while, doing something different is necessary for a fulfilling life.
Most people get settled in a life which has a somewhat predictable set of activities, but there are some on the extreme end. They abhor any alterations to their daily schedule. These are people who will take a good job with one company, and stick with it their entire career. They prefer the food that their mother had cooked and their core circle of friends are from childhood. Their lives are easy and comfortable, but can be boring and repetitive.
On the opposite extreme, there are those who embrace anything new. They try different types of cuisine, have a bucket list of places to visit, and enroll in adult education classes to meet people. Nearly every day is a challenge and life is incredibly exciting. Of course, they have more failures and disappointments as things do not work out as they expect, but they just put it behind them and go on. Such a life is invigorating and challenging, but quite unstable and unsettling.
My preference is a life that has stability, but I am not fearful of change. I am opportunistic, always aware of potential changes that will make me happier and more satisfied.
In summary, there are extremes of people who either abhor or relish changes in their lives, but I am somewhat in between.
Thanks a lot for your help !! I am extremely fascinated by the straightforward way you express your idea, but still manage to use advanced vocabs.
Vượng phan hữuThanks a lot for your help !! I am extremely fascinated by the straightforward way you express your idea, but still manage to use advanced vocabs.
Thank you.
The entire purpose of the IELTS exam is to prove to an examiner that you can communicate clearly and competently in writing as well as speaking.
It is not an English test. It is not a grammar test. It assesses your ability to state an opinion on a topic, and convince the reader that your opinion is the right one. Sometimes examples are perfect to support your ideas, and sometimes, as in this essay, there is no need for any. Everyone knows about these personality types!
Many students try too hard, and use sophisticated vocabulary, every possible sentence structure and unnatural transitions. They memorize a lot of synonyms from a dictionary and do not realize that there are very few true and exact synonyms, and each word has a natural context. As a result, the essay is awkward and ungainly and convinces no one.