Topic: The graph below shows female unemployment rates in each country of the United Kingdom in 2013 and 2014.
The bar chart illustrates the percentage of female unemployment in each country of the United King Dom from 2013 to 2014
Overall, it is true that the female unemployment rates decreased slightly from 2013 to 2014, excepted in Scotland.
In 2013, the female unemployment accounted for 5.6% in Northern Ireland. The only nation has less percentage of women jobless was Wales, which was 5.4%. Both nations saw a decrease in the unemployment rates for women in 2014. In Northern Ireland, the rate dropped to 4.6 % and 5% in Wales, respectively.
6.8% of English women was the highest number of female joblessness in 2013. However, this number fell 0.3 % in 2014. After all, Scotland was the only nation has an increasing percentage of female unemployment. In 2013, there was 6.1% of Scotish jobless women percentage. In 2014, it increased to 6.7%, which made Scotland became the country with the highest women in four coutries.
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IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice
Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post
The bar chart illustrates (poor word choice. You did not read my advice, did you?) the percentage of female unemployment (Incorrect. ) unemployment rates of females in each country of the United King Dom (Oh dear me!) from in 2013 and to 2014. These countries are Wales, Scotland, England and Northern Ireland.
Overall, it is true that ( Do not use these vacuous dummy-it clauses. They only serve to add to the word count and annoy the examiner.) the female unemployment rates decreased slightly from 2013 to 2014, excepted (wrong word. ) except in Scotland.
In 2013, the female unemployment accounted for rate was 5.6% in Northern Ireland. The only nation has (ungrammatical) less percentage of women jobless (unnatural) was Wales, which was 5.4%. (Your observation makes no sense at all. You should report the country with the highest rate, not the one in third place.) Both nations saw (poor word choice. Nations do not have eyes; they cannot see anything. You did not read my advice, did you?) a decrease in the unemployment rates for women in 2014. In Northern Ireland, the rate dropped to 4.6 % and 5% in Wales, respectively. (very poor sentence structure. Respectively is used incorrectly)
6.8% (Do not begin any sentence with a digit.) of English women (Women are not number. That is bad English .) was the highest number of female joblessness (wrong expression) in 2013. However, this number (wrong word. A number would be expressed as 689,765 or 321,765 or 78 - the bar chart does not plot numbers. The units are percentage points.) fell 0.3 % in 2014. After all, Scotland was [the only nation has an increasing percentage of female unemployment. ] (The words in blue brackets make a main clause. You cannot use a main clause as the complement of a verb, "was". The sentence is ungrammatical.) In 2013, there was 6.1% of Scotish (wrong spelling) jobless women percentage. (wrong expression. You have tried to use many variations on "female unemployment rate." None of them are good English. This is a statistical measure. Its name is precise. Do not use synonyms for it. You can use pronouns or just "rate") In 2014, it increased to 6.7%, which made Scotland became (wrong verb form) the country with the highest women (Were they very tall ladies?) in four coutries.(wrong spelling, also the phrase needs the definite article.)
You are trying very hard. Learn from your mistakes. Try to fix the mistakes and post your revision.
Avoid using synonyms for the names of demographic statistical measures. In fact, you should be very careful in using synonyms in Task 1.
Task 1 is very difficult. You need to read my advice and practice, practice, practice. If you want a sample essay for this task, you may ask for one.
I gave you explicit feedback on using the verb "see" and phrases without the definite article . You make this mistake a lot, I bet. Pay attention to my advice. Here is the link!
https://www.englishforums.com/English/HelpCorrectMistakes/bqgvwr/post.htm