Topic essay:

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.

Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.


My essay:

While many people believe that marketing manages to convince people to pay more because the quality of the advertisement is improving and the service is more professional, others think that advertising is not attractive anymore due to customers’ habit changes and the popularity of ads. In my opinion, advertising still plays an essential role in consumerism. This essay will analyze both sides of this argument and explain why I agree with the former view.


On the one hand, there are those who consider that advertising is not effective anymore for two main reasons. The first cause is that there are several advertisements nowadays. That means consumers are getting more familiar with these ads; therefore, they will not be attracted by the advertisement. Another reason is the change in customer’s habits. In other words, there are more and more people, especially the mid-aged, who prefer to make a list of things they need to purchase before buying anything. As a result, these people can not be affected by advertising.


On the other hand, some other people, including me, believe that advertising is working successfully to persuade people to buy things. First, due to technological advancement, there are numerous digital gadgets that can improve the quality of advertisements. For example, the sound of a marketing video would be very attractive with captivating melodies, while modern cameras will provide people with the clearest images. Furthermore, some big companies also hire psychoanalysts to analyze customers’ behaviors. Thus, they will manage to provide the best service.


In conclusion, whereas it is comprehensible that people have different views, I believe that advertisements will continue to get public attention with higher quality and more professional service.

While many people believe that marketing manages to convince people to pay more because the quality of the advertisement is improving (That is entirely off-topic) and the service is more professional, (off-topic) others think that advertising is not attractive anymore due to customers’ habit changes and the popularity of ads. (off-topic) In my opinion, advertising still plays an essential role in consumerism. This essay will analyze both sides of this argument and explain why I agree with the former view.


Do not mention your essay. Answer the prompt and give your opinion directly.

You did not understand the task very well. Read the instructions very carefully, at least twice, before starting your brainstorming process.

The task is to discuss these two views:

1. People ignore advertising. There is so much advertising everywhere - on billboards, leaflets, websites, radio and TV - that people may see it, but they forget about it right away. Advertising does not help to sell merchandise. It is useless.

2. Manufacturers and stores love to advertise because people see the ads and buy their products. The more they advertise, the more they sell. That gives them a lot of profits. They use part of their profits to pay for even more elaborate advertising.


On the one hand, there are those who consider that advertising is not effective anymore for two main reasons. The first cause is that there are several advertisements (several means maybe 5 or 6, less than 10. How many ads have you been exposed to today? Have you counted them? What were they for?) nowadays. That means consumers are getting more familiar with these ads; therefore, they will not be attracted by the advertisement. Another reason is the change in customer’s habits. In other words, there are more and more people, especially the mid-aged, who prefer to make a list of things they need to purchase before buying anything. As a result, these people can not be affected by advertising.


On the other hand, some other people, including me, (Put your opinion in the first paragraph, not in the body paragraph) believe that advertising is working successfully to persuade people to buy things. First, due to technological advancement, (That expression has little meaning. Technology has been advancing for a million years.) there are numerous digital gadgets using modern equipment that can improve the quality of advertisements. For example, the sound of a marketing video (Sound is not a gadget, and neither is a video.) would be very attractive with captivating melodies, while modern cameras will provide people with the clearest images. Furthermore, some big companies also hire psychoanalysts to analyze customers’ behaviors. Thus, they will manage to provide the best service.


In conclusion, whereas it is comprehensible that people have different views, I believe that advertisements will continue to get public attention with higher quality and more professional service.


Learn to use the word "technology". It is very broad.



thank you very much for helping me to use precise words and develop my ideas.

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I have some questions.
I have to say that I did understand the task that is to discuss two views and then state my opinion. However, I suppose that the first sentence in the introduction answered the question about both views so that in the second sentence of the introduction, I just stated my opinion and then, again, fully answered the question that I am going to discuss these both views and give reasons for my choice.
Would you mind suggesting some other ways to answer the task more clearly or explaining more about my mistake?

Thank you very much for helping me out to recognize my mistake and use precise words.

I have to say that I did understand the task that is to discuss two views and then state my opinion.

However, I suppose that the first sentence in the introduction answered the question about both views

You muddled (confused) the task by adding the phrase about the quality of advertising and the "professional service". Those ideas are not part of the topic. Do not add ideas that are off-topic.

so that in the second sentence of the introduction, I just stated my opinion and then, again, fully answered the question

The role of advertising in consumerism is not the topic. It is in the same general area, but not laser-focused on the task.

that I am going to discuss these both views and give reasons for my choice.

The examiner knows you are writing an essay, don't they? They know the format of the essay, too. They know that your body paragraphs come next, and contain supporting reasons for your position. Why tell the examiner what they already know? It is rather boring and uninformative. I know that some IELTS sites advise writing such statements, but it is definitely discouraged in modern university-level essays. And there are some IELTS examiners that advise against it.

As long as you have clearly stated your opinion, there will be a good transition to the first argument paragraph.

Phát Huỳnh TấnWould you mind suggesting some other ways to answer the task more clearly or explaining more about my mistake?

Here is a sample essay for this task. It is rather long, but it shows a range of appropriate vocabulary, a variety of sentence structures, coherence and cohesion and other features that will gain a high score.

Outline:

Paragraph 1: Describe the task in your own words. Answer the essay prompt. Make a thesis statement (One or two sentences).

Paragraph 2: Main point: Companies advertise because it attracts customers and profits.

Paragraph 3: Main point: People are bored and annoyed at most ads.

Paragraph 4: Conclusion. Restate the thesis (the position). Summarize the argument points.

Task 2: Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it.
Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Companies must still believe that advertisement is essential and beneficial for increasing their sales; that is why we are bombarded by ads wherever we go. Personally, I see so many every day that I either ignore them or quickly forget about them. I am convinced that most people do the same.

There is intense competition for customers, and advertising is one of the few ways that companies can appeal directly to buyers and gain brand recognition. They spend an inordinate amount of money on marketing. For instance, the major sports events on TV, such as the World Cup or Olympic Games, can get hundreds of thousands of dollars for a 30-second ad. If Coke has a very dynamic and visible ad, Pepsi and other beverage companies must do likewise; otherwise they will lose market share. The number of opportunities to catch our attention are nearly unlimited and companies exploit all of them. Ads are placed everywhere imaginable, billboards, posters, leaflets, social media, and other websites as well as on television, radio and in the movie theaters.

Because of this, viewers get saturated with so many ads that they get tired and annoyed by having their enjoyable experiences or daily lives interrupted. People take proactive measures to avoid encountering ads. For example, many of my friends get ad-blockers added to their browsers so they will not be annoyed by flashing, distracting nonsense consuming screen space. If an ad comes on in the middle of a movie, my friends and I just take a break to go to the kitchen to make a snack. In this way, advertising becomes counterproductive because the brand or product, instead of being associated with delicious and beautiful experiences, just evokes anger and disgust.

In conclusion, companies are driven by competition and they place seductive and eye-catching advertisements everywhere possible. But that results in most consumers like myself ignoring them or taking actions to avoid them.

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Thank you very much for explaining my mistakes to me.