Topic: The charts show the different forms in which fish were sold in 1950 and 1985. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and making comparisons where relevant.
The two pie charts depict the proportion of global fish sales by five different product categorises in the two years which are 1950 and 1985.
Generally, in comparion between 1950 and 1985, it can be seen that there was a drammatic increase in the total quantity of fish-related products sold worldwide of over 3.5 times, from 21 million tonnes in 1950 to 76 million tonnes in 1985. By the end of 1985, animal meal obtained the biggest proportion in global fish sales, while cured fish and frozen were the least-sold goods.
Fresh fish, which had occupied the largest proportion of 50% over total global fish sales in 1950, witnessed a considerable decline of 30% by 1985, followed by cured fish products with a decrease of 20%. In contrast, frozen fish exhibited the largest growth rate of 13 times, from 1% in 1950 to 13% in 1985. The percentage of animal meal and canned fish products sold, moreover, also soared remarkably to 32% and 22%, respectively.
(165 words).
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Please read my advice for Task 1 essays:
IELTS TASK 1: Hints, Tips And Advice
Vocabulary Words For Task 1: Reference Post
The two pie charts depict the proportion of global fish sales by five (what are these five?) different product categorises (wrong form) in the two years which are 1950 and 1985.(unnatural, awkward)
Comment: Sales usually means money. But the percentages on these charts are not monetary value. They are by weight. So that must be in the description.
There are too many words between "two pie charts" and the two dates. For clarity, they need to be close. Here is a good description:
The two pie charts, dated 1950 and 1985, break down the global fish sales (by weight) into five categories: fresh, cured, animal meal, frozen and canned.
Pie charts are always proportions or percentages. The entire circle represents 100%, and the different slices represent the proportions.
Generally, in comparion between 1950 and 1985, it can be seen that (Useless "filler" words. Delete) there was a drammatic (wrong spelling. Also this is a maths exercise. Do not use "drama" words.) increase in the total quantity tonnage of fish-related products sold worldwide of over 3.5 times, from 21 million tonnes in 1950 (repetitive) to 76 million tonnes in 1985. By the end of (There are no months here. It is the total for the year.) In 1985, animal meal obtained (wrong word) the biggest was the largest proportion in global fish sales, while cured fish and frozen fish were the smallest. least-sold goods. (The experts recommend that you do not put any numerical values in the "overall" paragraph. That is too much detail. Just point out 2 or 3 main features.)
Fresh fish, which had occupied (wrong word.) the largest proportion of 50% over half the total global fish sales in 1950, witnessed (wrong word. These fish are dead. They cannot witness anything.) a considerable declined by of 30% by 1985, followed by cured fish products with a decrease of 20%. In contrast, frozen fish increased by a factor of exhibited the largest growth rate of 13 times, from 1% in 1950 to 13% in 1985. (Do not repeat the years. they are given in the opening paragraph.) The percentage of animal meal and canned fish products sold, moreover, also soared (Do not use "drama" words. This is a math exercise.) remarkably (Do not use opinion words. Just give the facts.) went up from 10% and 6% to 32% and 22%, respectively.
Read my advice on vocabulary for Task 1.
Do not repeat so much. Once you give the two years in the introduction, you do not need to repeat them in the body paragraphs..
For pie charts, you have to combine categories in your analysis if you want a score above 6.