Please Review My IELTS Writing Task 1.

hellen1605Task 1: The bar chart shows the expectation to change of European young people in the next 20 years in 5 different areas.

That is exceptionally bad English. Where did you find this atrocious practice test?

The horizonal bar chart presents the results of a survey of young people in Europe which asked them about their vision for the future, twenty years from now. Was the situation going to be better or worse in these five the percentage of expectation to change of the young (That is terrible English! Do not learn your English for there horrible practice tests.) in 5 different categories: health, air quality, water quality? food quality and communication among people people communication (bad phrase) in the next 20 years in Europe.

Overall, a majority of the people surveyed European young people expect communication among people to improve but they were equally divided in their opinion about food quality. to improve people communication. (bad expression) The rest of areas is (wrong verb form) expected to get worse in the next 20 years.

In detail, over 60% of people communication sector (That is completely wrong. The percentage is not for the category itself, but the people who were asked about it.) is expected to improve, while less 40% of that will get worse. (that makes no sense. The total has to add up to 100%, so you should only write about one of the two answers.) A half of the young in Europe expects (repetitious. Do not keep repeating the same phrase over and over. Just put this once in the introduction. That is not good for your test result.) thinks that food quality will be better, while the rest has an opposite thought. The percentage of young people (repetitious) who suppose (wrong word) that water quality is declined (wrong verb form) is about 60%, while that of worse air quality is higher, about 78%. In the next 20 years, (wrong expression. The survey was taken recently, not in 20 years.) the proportion of European young people thinking (More repeition) that health will get worse make up was about 58%. and just 42% will see improvement.

This is a horrible practice test. The English is awful, and this figure has so little information content to write about, that it is quite difficult to get more than the minimum word count without being verbose. Do not use defective and horrible practice tests. You will just learn bad English, not good English.

Fixed figure:

Sample essay (180 words)

The horizonal bar chart presents the results of a recent survey of young people in Europe which asked them about their vision for the future, twenty years from now -- was the situation going to be better or worse in general health, air quality, water quality, food quality and communication among people.

Overall, the majority of the people surveyed expect communication among people to improve but they were equally divided in their opinion about food quality. The remaining areas were expected to be worse than today.

In detail, they were the most pessimistic about air quality, with nearly three quarters believing that it will deteriorate. Opinions about the next two areas, water quality and public health, were not quite so negative, with about three out of five thinking they will worsen. However, they were slightly more optimistic about public health than water quality. Next, they were much more positive concerning food quality, where there was a 50-50 split among the respondents. Finally, more than six in ten answered that communication among people will get better.

AlpheccaStars

That is exceptionally bad English. Where did you find this atrocious practice test?

I find this practice test from the web "ieltspracticeonline.com".

Thank you a lot for your feedback and sample.

hellen1605I found this practice test on from the website "ieltspracticeonline.com".

Don't use that website as a resource. My advice posting has some better ones.