Hello,

I wrote this IELTS writing task 1 with pie chart based on the comments of the reviewers for my previous essay.

Please take your time to help me review it.

Thank you very much!

The following is my essay:

The pie charts give a breakdown of populations in Yemen and Italy into three categories: 1-4 years, 15-59 years, and 60+ years in the year of 2000 and predictions for 2050.

Overall, the 15-59 age group accounted for the highest percentage of population in Italy in 2000 and that of Yemen was the 0-14 age group, while those of the predictions for 2050 are the population who are between 15 and 59 years old in both countries. It is also predicted that the proportions of population who are 60 years old or over will increase, while those of the other groups will decrease in Yemen and Italy.

In 2000, the 15-59 age group accounted for 46.3% in Yemen, which was much lower than that of Italy, with 61.6%. Meanwhile, 50.1% of population in Yemen were between 0 and 14 years old, but that of Italy only accounted for 14.3%. In the final age group, the figure for Italy was nearly 4 times as much as that of Yemen, with 24.1% and 3.6% respectively.

In term of the predictions for 2050, the proportions of the 15-59 and 60+ age group will increase by 10% and 2.3% respectively, while that of population who are under 14 years old will fall to 37% in Yemen. In Italy, the proportions of people in the age ranged from 15 to 59 and under 14 years old are predicted to decline to 46.2% and 11.5% respectively, whereas that of the people who aged 60 or over predicted to rise rapidly to 42.3%.

At 256 words, the report might be too long to complete in the twenty minutes available in the exam.

nct1-4 years,

Should read 0-14 years

nctin the year of 2000

Pretentious: in 2000

The overview could start something like:

The 15-59 age group generally accounted for the highest percentage of each population, except in the case of Yemen in 2000, where the largest segment was represented by the 0-14 age cohort.

nctin Yemen and Italy.

in both countries.

nctMeanwhile, 50.1% of population

At that time, 50.1% of the population

nctthat of Italy only accounted for 14.3%

compared to 14.3% in Italy

nct final age group

oldest age group

nctthe 15-59 and 60+ age group

...... age groups

nctthe age ranged from 15 to 59 and under 14 years old

the age ranges from 15-59 and below 14

nctthe people who aged 60 or over

the over-60s

nctrapidly

The pie charts represent snapshots in time, so do not provide any information on what happens in between or about the speed of change.

Thank you very much!

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Can u show me how to post that kind of picture?

I'm terribly sorry, it seemed i forgot attaching the image.