Hello,

I've finished my IELTS essay task 2 on crime topic. Could you please help me to review it?

Thank you very much!

Question:

Research suggests that the majority of criminals who are sent to prison would commit crimes when set free? What are the reasons? What can be done to solve the problem?

My essay:

It is undoubted that many criminals who are imprisoned would offend after being released back into society. There are several reasons for this and some reasonable measures can solve this problem.

In my opinion, two main factors are to blame for the fact that the majority of ex-prisoners commit crimes after they are released. First, some methods of punishment in prison are unsuitable. In some jails, for instance, prisoners are punished violently if they break the rules. Consequently, they are not only unaware of the consequence of the crimes that they committed but also even become more extremely. Second, some prisoners are likely to be affected negatively from their roommates. Some recent research has shown that 80 percent of ex-prisoners tend to commit crimes more severely after being set free if they are imprisoned in the same places with dangerous criminals.

Nevertheless, the trend of relapsing into crime of ex-prisoners can be curbed by some reasonable measures. The first one is that police should classify offenders into groups based on criminal records to apply suitable punishment methods for each group. For example, dangerous criminals such as brutal killers should be isolated from others and punished strictly, and first-time offenders should be imprisoned in less strict environment and they should be more educated rather than punished. Furthermore, the methods of punishment should be changed to be more humane. Many psychologists say that education rather violence is an effective way to help prisoners to realize their past guilty activities.

In conclusion, the unsuitable punishment methods in prison and the effects from other criminals are the root causes of ex-prisoners’ offence. However, classification criminals before sending them to jail and the change of punishment methods should tackle this problem.

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