Topic: Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?

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In today's society, many recruiters think that it is essential to recruit employees possessing scholastic qualifications rather than having life experience or personalities. In my opinion, There are a variety of reasons for this trend which has both positive and negative effects.


There are two factors to explain why employers would like to rent workers possessing university qualifications instead of those having real-life experience. Firstly, recruiting people who studied professional knowledge in university education might have access to tasks in work easier and quicker. This might help companies save their budget and their time in training new workers. Secondly, there were strong arguments about promotion in career between qualified staff and unqualified staff if they have the same performance in work. My cousin is a point in case. While she was studying in grade 11, she dropped out of school and decided to work manual jobs at an assembly plant. 2 years later, despite her achievement and characteristics as hard-working, she failed to get a promotion for the manager's position compared to a qualified colleague.


There are some positive and negative effects to the trend is that employers should look for people pursuing tertiary education instead of those who have hands-on experience. This trend encourages young people to try to study hard to enter the top university so that they receive a prestigious degree. On the other hand, the drawback of this trend is that some companies might ignore good workers if they just look for employees who possess qualifications.


In conclusion, as reasons mentioned above, it is both beneficial and detrimental developments for the way that recruiters prefer to choose employees possessing formal academic qualifications rather than having life experience or personal qualities.

In today's society, many recruiters think that it is essential to recruit employees possessing scholastic qualifications rather than having life experience or personalities. In my opinion, There are a variety of reasons for this trend which has both positive and negative effects.
There are two factors to explain why employers would like to rent workers possessing university qualifications instead of those having real-life experience. Firstly, recruiting people who studied professional knowledge in university education might have access to tasks in work easier and quicker. This might help companies save their budget and their time in training new workers. Secondly, there were strong arguments about promotion in career between qualified staff and unqualified staff if they have the same performance in work. My cousin is a point in case. While she was studying in grade 11, she dropped out of school and decided to work manual jobs at an assembly plant. 2 years later, despite her achievement and characteristics as hard-working, she failed to get a promotion for the manager's position compared to a qualified colleague.
There are some positive and negative effects to the trend is that employers should look for people pursuing tertiary education instead of those who have hands-on experience. This trend encourages young people to try to study hard to enter the top university so that they receive a prestigious degree. On the other hand, the drawback of this trend is that some companies might ignore good workers if they just look for employees who possess qualifications.
In conclusion, as reasons mentioned above, it is both beneficial and detrimental developments for the way that recruiters prefer to choose employees possessing formal academic qualifications rather than having life experience or personal qualities.

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Subject: Please review my IELTS essay

Message body:
Topic:

Nowadays, some employers think that formal academic qualifications are more important than life experience or personal qualities when they look for new employees. Why is it the case? Is it a positive or negative development?



My essay:

(Your text here...)
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Teachers: We supply a list of EFL job vacancies

In today's society, many recruiters think that it is essential to prefer candidates recruit employees possessing scholastic qualifications rather than having life experience or personalities. (Wrong expression. Everyone has a personality. And all living people have life experiences. What is the question about?) In my opinion, There ("There" is not a proper noun.) are a variety of reasons for this trend which has both positive and negative effects.

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You did not answer the topic question.

It is: Is it a positive or negative development? You have two options for your answer: Yes or No.
You must have a thesis statement like this:
I believe it is a positive development because it motivates candidates to get good qualifications.)


There are two factors to explain why employers would like to rent (We rent property. People are not possessions or property.) workers possessing university qualifications instead of those having real-life experience. First, Firstly, recruiting people who studied professional knowledge (wrong expression - unnatural) in university education might have access to tasks in work easier and quicker. This might help companies save their budget and their time in training new workers. Secondly, Second, there were strong arguments about promotion in career (This is completely off topic. It is about new employees, not existing employees.) between qualified staff and unqualified staff if they have the same performance in work. My cousin is a point in case. While she was studying in grade 11, she dropped out of school and decided to work manual jobs at an assembly plant. 2 (Never begin a sentence with a digit.) years later, despite her achievement and characteristics as hard-working, she failed to get a promotion for the manager's position compared to a qualified colleague. (Your example is off-topic. It is about employing new staff. )
There are some positive and negative effects to the trend (This is off-topic. You are supposed to pick one option and argue why you selected it.) is that employers should look for people pursuing tertiary education instead of those who have hands-on experience. This trend encourages young people to try to study hard to enter the top university so that they receive a prestigious degree. On the other hand, the drawback of this trend is that some companies might ignore good workers if they just look for employees who possess qualifications.
In conclusion, as reasons mentioned above, (Do not use "mentioned" or "aforementioned. Remove these expressions from your essay-writing vocabulary. The reader has an attention span of more than two paragraphs!) it is both beneficial and detrimental developments for the way that recruiters prefer to choose employees possessing formal academic qualifications rather than having life experience or personal qualities.


This is not an advantages/disadvantages essay. You were mostly off-topic.

Thank you very much. Your advice is really usefull for me. I will try to improve my writing skill better.

I am sorry but I posted this essay in previous post. So, you don't need to waste time to read it.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

I rewrote my essay. Please help me review it again. Thank you a lot.

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My essay:

In today's society, many recruiters think that it is essential to prefer candidates possessing scholastic qualifications rather than having life experience. In my opinion, there are a variety of reasons for this trend and I believe that it has positive developments.

There are two factors to explain why employers would like to employ workers possessing university qualifications instead of those having real-life experience. First, qualified candidates not only gain depth-in knowledge about their major but also learn soft skills such as interpersonal and teamwork skills in a university environment, which has a direct relationship with the job. Recruiters could save their budgets and their time in training formal academic applicants compared to non-academic applicants. Second, the condition to graduating from universities are very strict and difficult, so students have to invest much time and make much effort in the study process to get university degree, which can somehow prove this candidates be a hard-working and patient person.

I would argue that this trend is positive progress. It encourages young people to try to study hard to enter the top university so that they gain a prestigious degree, which could enhance their career prospects. My brother is a point in case. His cousin did not find employment after she dropped out of high school is a motivation to make him quit playing computer games and focus more on studying. He passed the national university entrance exam with a high score, he entered one of the top universities and now he is a director of an international bank. In addition, this trend would make a contribution to the increasing number of well-educated workers in the competitive labor market, which creates an efficient work environment with high productivity.

In conclusion, there are various reasons why employers prefer to employ people possessing academic university degrees rather than those having life experience or good personalities and I think it is a positive development.