Task 1:
The line graph illustrates the proportion of Australian residents who are Asian, England and other regional people between 1976 and 2011.
In general, there were wholly different patterns over three categories. Moreover, the total percentage of international people in Australia went down slightly over the 1976-2001 period, with albeit a swift rise during the other years.
In 1976, commencing at 14%, the rate of England people in the country descended steadily and stayed at a low of 5% in 2011. Meanwhile, the number for Asian people witnessed an opposite trend, with a beginning at only 2.5% in 1976, then increasing gradually in between and reaching a peak of 15% in 2011.
On the other hand, the percentage of people from other regions living in the nation experienced a moderate decline from 11% to 7.5% between 1976 and 2011, followed by a significant increase to 14% in 2006 and a negligible fall to 12.8% in 2011. Finally, these inhabitants accounted for about 22.6% of Australian population in 1976, followed by a stable decrease to 20% in 2001 prior to a remarkable climb to 25% in 2011.
Task 2:
In spite of the typical nine to five jobs, employees tend to work far longer in light of financial incentives and their career development. From my perspective, I do believe that this situation is detrimental to the well-being of the workers.
To begin with, nowadays in most of companies and corporation the measurement of working performance is based on the quality of deliverables that people committed to rather than the way they come to work on time and complete their assignments as much as they can within eight working hours, which is regarded as the main reason for longer working of staff members. To make a move higher up the career ladder, young adults are willing to devote 10 hours or even 12 hours a day to their projects with certainly successful results. Moreover, they strive to seek an opportunity to handle larger scope of work in order to impress their executives. The great dedication, in turn, boost their occupational status and makes them have higher bonuses.
On the other hand, by making room for extra work, people will have less leisure time or rarely go to gym or not sleep enough at worst. People working in these conditions are likely to suffer chronic muscular and joint pain because they are devoid of robust physical health. This, coupled with prolonged anxiety and perpetual pressure to meet deadlines and required targets, can result in crippling depression and committing suicide. In particular, 45% of suicidal deaths in Japan reported in 2010 were due to constantly excessive workloads.
In conclusion, in this paced-world, youngsters are under high pressure to work more time for rapid promotion and good compensation from their organizations. Unfortunately, this practice brings about many drawbacks with regard to their quality of lives.
I
In future, please DO NOT post more than one task per thread.
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Task 1:
The line graph [ 1] illustrates tracks the changes, between 1976 and 2011, in the proportions of Australian residents who are Asian, were born in [ 2] England the UK, Asia, [ 3] and or other regions. regional people between 1976 and 2011.
In general, [ 4] there were wholly different patterns over three categories. Moreover, the total percentage of international overseas-born people residents in Australia went down slightly over the 1976-2001 period, with albeit until the early 2000s, but saw a swift rise during the other remaining years.
In 1976, commencing at 14%, the rate percentage of England people in the country born in the UK descended declined steadily and stayed at reached a low of 5% in 2011. Meanwhile, the number for Asian-born people witnessed an opposite trend, with a beginning starting at only 2.5% in 1976, then increasing gradually in between and reaching a peak of 15% in 2011.
On the other hand, the percentage of people from other regions living in the nation Australia experienced a moderate decline from 11% to 7.5% between 1976 and 2011, followed by a significant increase to 14% in 2006 and a negligible fall to 12.8% in 2011.
Finally, these inhabitants the total accounted for about 22.6% of the Australian population in 1976, followed by a stable but that decreased to 20% in 2001, prior to a remarkable climb to 25% in 2011.
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[ 1]: “illustrates” (or “shows”) is okay, but it’s not very specific. Every diagram illustrates something! Use it only when you can’t think of a more precise word.
[ 2]: England is part of the UK, not the entire UK.
[ 3]: You cannot be born in more than one country!
[ 4]: That does not say much.
Task 2:
In spite of the Many people nowadays are working long hours, even those in typical nine-to-five jobs. [ 1] employees tend to work far longer in light of financial incentives and their career development. There are various reasons behind this phenomenon, and from my perspective, I do believe that this situation is detrimental to the well-being of the workers.
To begin with, [ 2] there are certain factors that make people work more than the typical eight hours per day. Nowadays, in [ 3] most of companies and corporation businesses, the measurement of working an employee’s performance is measured carefully and evaluated regularly, which puts intense pressure on workers to continually improve their productivity. based on the quality of deliverables that people committed to rather than the way they come to work on time and complete their assignments as much as they can within eight working hours, which is regarded as the main reason for longer working of staff members. To make a move climb higher up the career ladder, young adults are willing to devote 10 hours or even 12 hours a day to their projects with certainly to achieve successful results. Moreover, with the rising cost of living in many countries, some people have no choice but to work longer hours in order to earn enough for their basic living needs. they strive to seek an opportunity to handle larger scope of work in order to impress their executives. The great dedication, in turn, boost their occupational status and makes them have higher bonuses.[ 4]
However, working long hours has detrimental effects on individuals. On the other hand, by making room for extra work, First, people will have less leisure time or rarely go to the gym, and some may or even not get enough sleep. enough at worst. People working in under these conditions are likely to suffer chronic muscular and joint pain as well as mental stress and because they are devoid of robust physical health problems. This, coupled with prolonged anxiety and perpetual pressure to meet deadlines and required targets can result in crippling depression and committing even suicide in extreme cases. [ 5] In particular, 45% For example, a significant proportion of suicidal deaths in Japan reported in 2010 recent years were due to constantly excessive workloads.
In conclusion, in this [ 6] paced-world, [ 7] youngsters many people are under high pressure to work more time to meet deadlines and to make more money. for rapid promotion and good compensation from their organizations. Unfortunately, this practice brings about many drawbacks with regard to their health and quality of life. lives.
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[ 1]: Specific information belongs in the conclusion. The introduction should be general.
[ 2]: A topic sentence needs to be general enough to cover the scope of the entire paragraph.
[ 3]: learn the difference between “most” and “most of”. ....englishcurrent.com/grammar/some-most-many-quantifiers-english-grammar/
( replace the dots with www)
[ 4]: That’s repetitive.
[ 5]: Do not make up fake examples.
[ 6]: “paced-world” means nothing.
[ 7]: youngsters = children
Thank you so much!