Please Review My Essay

Hi Moonrise,

When we write an essay, the introduction is ironically the last part we write, not the first! We usually jot down ideas, take a position if necessary (based on those ideas), write the body paragraphs, then the conclusion, and finally the introduction. So, let's try to do that here too. Start with the body paragraphs. Post below.

Thank you for your response.

I started with the introduction because you'd given a note about my introduction in the previous essay. It wasn't general, like what's supposed to be. Therefore I tried to avoid that in the current one.

Okay, I divided my thoughts as follows.

1. Introduction:

My position (I disagree.)

2. Body paragraphs:

• Asking a disruptive child to leave the class is a temporary solution.
• Its effects on the child. (Missing the lesson, psychological impacts, won't avoid the behavior)

Solutions:

• Understanding whether a child has a certain disorder first.
• Changing seats.
• School mentor.
• Contact parents if necessary.

3. Conclusion:

I'll post the essay in the following post.

Thank you

My Essay:

Children's issues at school are not uncommon. Teachers have to deal with different types of children every day. Their behaviors vary between a quiet child, a hyperactive child, or a disruptive child. Some think that teachers should be allowed to ask a disruptive child to leave the class. They see it as the best way to deal with the problem. I disagree with that.

On the one hand, leaving the class provides a temporary solution. It serves the teacher in the first place to retrieve the calm atmosphere of the class, but it will not eradicate the problem's roots. A disruptive child would most likely repeat the same behavior in the coming classes. Not to mention missing the lesson every time. On the other hand, kicking a child out of the class in front of his peers could cause psychological impacts, especially when a child feels that he is being treated unfairly.

In fact, there are better solutions to deal with the problem. First, the teacher needs to know whether a disruptive child is normal or diagnosed with some type of disorder. Autistic children, for instance, may not look at or listen to what the teacher said. Some may behave in a certain way that is disturbing to others due to something upsetting them, but no one understands. Therefore, It is important for whom concerned to train teachers on how to deal with children who have certain disorders.

Second, changing a seat; a teacher can ask a normal, disruptive child to change his seat. Many times, a disruptive child is triggered by the classmates who are setting close to him. They look calm, and he is the one who got in trouble because he could not get over it. Changing seats would be effective and better in such a case. Third, talk to the school mentor after the class; every school has a mentor who is responsible to deal with such issues. A professional mentor can look into the problem, talk to the child to size him, and contact his parents if necessary.

In conclusion, while asking a disruptive child to leave the class helps the teacher to have control over the class again, it will not eradicate the problem's root. Understanding the origin of the behavior, changing a child's seat, and asking the child to talk to the school mentor would be the best way to deal with disruptive children.

_____________________________________________

Somewhat long this time. I may need to remove some points. If you have a suggestion, provide it, please.

Thank you

Children 's issues at school are misbehaving in class is not uncommon. Teachers have to deal with different types of children every day, and many can be very hyperactive or disruptive. Their behaviors vary between a quiet child, a hyperactive child, or a disruptive child. Some [ 1] people think that teachers should be allowed to ask a disruptive child to leave the class. They see it as the best way to deal with the problem. I disagree with that.

On the one hand, To start with, leaving asking a child to leave the classroom provides is only a temporary solution. It serves the teacher in the first place to retrieve the calm atmosphere of the may help reestablish order in the class, but it does not deal with the root of the problem. will not eradicate the problem's roots. A disruptive child would most likely repeat the same behavior afterwards. in the coming classes. [ 2] Not to mention missing the lesson every time. [ 3] On the other hand, Furthermore, kicking a child out of the class in front of his peers other children could cause psychological impacts, especially when a embarrass the child and make them feel unwelcome. that he is being treated unfairly.

In fact, there are better solutions to deal with the problem. First, the teacher needs to know whether a disruptive child is normal or diagnosed with has some type of behavioural disorder. Autistic children, for instance, may not look at or listen to what the teacher says. [ 4] said. Some may unwittingly behave in a certain way that is disturbing disruptive to others. due to something upsetting them, but no one understands. Therefore, It it is important for whom concerned to train teachers on to know how to deal with children who have certain suffer from such disorders. Second, changing a seat; a teacher can ask a normal, disruptive child to change [ 5] his their seat. Many times, Often, a disruptive [ 6] child behaviour is triggered by group behaviour, so by breaking up the group, the teacher can restore order. the classmates who are setting close to him. They look calm, and he is the one who got in trouble because he could not get over it. Changing seats would be effective and better in such a case. Third, talk to the school mentor after the class; every school has a mentor who is responsible to deal with such issues. A professional mentor can look into the problem, talk to the child to size him, and contacting his the child’s parents is also an option which teachers can utilize before deciding to ask a child to leave their class. if necessary.

In conclusion, while asking a disruptive child to leave the class is a temporary fix at best and may scar a child psychologically. helps the teacher to have control over the class again, it will not eradicate the problem's root. Understanding the origin of the behavior, changing where a child sits, and discussing the problem with the child’s parents are much better alternatives. 's seat, and asking the child to talk to the school mentor would be the best way to deal with disruptive children.

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

[ 1]: We use “people” here for clarity.

[ 2]: This is not how “not to mention” is used.

[ 3]: This is not how “on the other hand” is used.

[ 4]: I have no idea why you decided to use the past simple there!

[ 5]: We can use “they”, “them”, and “there” as gender-neutral pronouns.

[ 6]: It is not the child that is triggered!

The way you reconstructed sentences to convey the meaning is very smart and very helpful. You made them shorter and almost covered all the ideas I stated. I'll try to make my writing better afterwards. I appreciate your effort and notes.

Regarding [4], my grammar is not perfect; I could make a mistake unwittingly. (This is the first time I use "unwittingly", by the way. It's a new vocab to me. I usually use "unintentionally" or "spontaneously")

Thank you very much

MoonriseThis is the first time I use "unwittingly", by the way. It's a new vocab to me. I usually use "unintentionally" or "spontaneously")

"unintentionally" is okay, but "spontaneously" has a different meaning.

MoonriseThank you very much.

You're welcome.

teechr

MoonriseThis is the first time I use "unwittingly", by the way. It's a new vocab to me. I usually use "unintentionally" or "spontaneously")

"unintentionally" is okay, but "spontaneously" has a different meaning.

MoonriseThank you very much.

You're welcome.

I look them up but, could you tell me what the difference is?

Thank you

MoonriseI looked them up but, could you tell me what the difference is?

"spontaneously" means without planning.

"unwittingly" means without realizing it.