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You read and understood the task. When the task has the conjunction "OR", you have to pick one of the options.

Your essay is still a little too long.



Home computing, the internet, and mobile phones have led to technology have led to (ungrammatical repetition) significant changes in the way people communicate with each other. I would argue that this is these effects are a positive development.

First, I believe that there is a great deal of beneficial impact on benefits to the way we humans (Only use the noun "human" in the context of other species. Robots can do repetitive work faster than humans. Most canines have more teeth than humans. ) interact. In particular, social (You get more points for using transitions effectively.) media creates a golden chance for people to make and form new friends worldwide. As it is hard (Why it this hard? Give a reason.) for many children and teenagers to make friends in their own neighborhood, they are more likely to use the internet for this purpose. Via numerous applications such as Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, (Ungrammatical, missing conjunction) people can easily connect with other users based upon similar interests to learn a new language and also promote cultural interchange among countries without traveling. Second, (wrong transition phrase. It does not match the point under "first".) Besides, using social networks to connect can help save time and money. A good example of this is that in the past if you wanted (You are writing about the past, so you have to use past tense.) to transform (wrong word) important information to friends or loved ones in another country, you must had to mail use letters written by hand and must wait for a long time. But, nowadays, people have just clicked on (that is NOT a good description.) the bottom to send an email.

Be careful using "the bottom" as it is part of the body. Do you click on the bottom?



Moreover,(The transition phrases must match each other. ) Second, the internet has also helped people in their working lives. They can easily exchange their views, ideas (Ungrammatical, missing conjunction) about their projects with co-workers every time everywhere without meeting directly. In addition, companies or small shops can also communicate with their potential customers to sell products. For example, through live stream, the sellers not only interact with buyers but also can save rent reduce expenses such as for advertisement, or renting shop space.

In conclusion, I once again reaffirm that the benefits' (wrong form) high (wrong word.) technology has brought to people's communication are an undeniable fact. However, each individual must have a sense of your own responsibility to be not affected too much by the social networks. (Off-topic. Do not introduce new ideas in the conclusion. Instead summarize your arguments.)

You will not get a good score for "task response" because you answered only half of the prompts.

There were two prompts, and you clearly answered only one. Here is the other prompt:

In what ways has technology affected the types of relationships people make?

Thank you so much so your help.

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