Hi everybody, I'm Thư and I am a new member in group. I hope you will help me to improve my essay. Thanks very much.

Topic: Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Current years, people get used to using animal experiments to produce new medicine and assess the safety of products. This issue has still been gone on to argue whether it should be banned or not.

First and foremost, trial on animal really bring a greater advantage, that is the safety absolutely. When a company produce a new drug or therapy treatment, they always find a secure solution for customer. Therefore, animal experiment is the best choice which they need. Using animal will remove risk of health and they can analyst many results in order to choose conformity way of human. Additionally, with some animal, for instance mouse or rabbit, they have a short life cycle and fast breeding speed, so they compatible with making disease model easily. Furthermore, scientist confirmed mouse and human have general original, so using animal experiments carry a marvelous benefit to humanity.

However, admittedly, damaging or killing a large number of animal is moral violation. Each animal is also a life which seem like human in the nature. So, numerous of people required government must action aim to banned using animal. They believe that animal need to protect but they do not refuse many benefits of using animal. Then, government and scientist promulgated the law to tackle this problem. We must limit the total number of animal minimize, use correct purpose and do not make painful.

In conclusion, people can develop new medicine and to test the safety of other products by the aid of animal. in my opinion, because of human and animal benefit, we should use animal effectively and sparingly.

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You need to study singular versus plural forms. Much of your writing in unnatural or ungrammatical English. I have highlighted the incorrect phrases and words.


Topic: Nowadays animal experiments are widely used to develop new medicines and to test the safety of other products. Some people argue that these experiments should be banned because it is morally wrong to cause animals to suffer, while others are in favour of them because of their benefits to humanity. Discuss both view and give your own opinion.

Current years, (ungrammatical. This is a noun phrase. Noun phrases must have a function like subject or object. You can't just let them hang in a sentence.) people get used to using animal experiments to produce new medicine and assess the safety of products. This issue has still been gone on (ungrammatical) to argue whether it should be banned or not.

(You first paragraph is incomplete. You must give a thesis statement and answer the question: "What is your opinion?" as requested in the topic. You will get a low score if you do not do this.)

First and foremost, trial (wrong form) on animal (wrong form) really bring a greater advantage, that is the safety absolutely. When a company produce (wrong form) a new drug or therapy treatment, they always find a secure (wrong word) solution for customer. Therefore, animal experiment is (wrong form) the best choice which they need. Using animal (wrong form) will remove risk of health and they can analyst many results in order to choose conformity way of human. (wrong phrasing, unnatural) Additionally, with some animal, (wrong form) for instance mouse or rabbit, they have a short life cycle and fast breeding speed, so they (missing word ) compatible with making disease model easily. Furthermore, scientist confirmed mouse and human have general original, (??) so using animal experiments carry a marvelous benefit to humanity.

However, admittedly, damaging or killing a large number of animal (wrong form) is (missing word ) moral violation. Each animal is also a life which seem (wrong form) like human in the nature. So, numerous of people required government must action aim to banned using animal. (ungrammatical ) They believe that animal need to protect (wrong form) but they do not refuse (wrong word ) many benefits of using animal. (wrong form) Then, government and scientist (wrong form) promulgated the law to tackle this problem. We must limit the total number of animal minimize, (wrong phrasing ) use correct purpose and do not make painful.

Thank you very much for reply. Can you explain for me how is natural in writing, please? I want to broaden the horizon. Thanks a lot.

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Here is a re-write of a few of your sentences. I hope you will learn from your very commonly-made mistakes.


First and foremost, trials (There is more than one trial in an experiment) on animals (Experiments involve more than one animal) really bring a greater advantage, that is an assurance of absolute safety. When a company produces (subject-verb match) a new drug or therapy treatment, they always find a safe solution (a medicine with minimal side-effects) for customers. Therefore, animal experiments are is the best choice. Using animals will remove the risks to human health since researchers can analyse many results from the trials in order to choose the best dosage and combination of drugs for humans.