Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Topic: In many countries school have severe problem with student behavior. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

My essay:

Nowadays, students bother schools severely in many countries. Different factors may cause this student’s behavior, nevertheless it is not impossible to apply some measures to refine their action.

There are diverse reasons which provoke students to do unpleasant activity. Firstly, with spreading the virtual games, not only are children not able to drain their energy physically, but also, they are leaded to exaggerative reaction in real world. In addition the incapability of teachers in facing technological problem from one side and ability of children to tackle this issues from other side, destroy the limitation between student and teacher, so that hardly do student care to teacher attend to their teachers. Apart from all has been said, new children see more attention in home why usually, with decreasing the number of kids, parents are more sensitive about their children and this fact may make children rude.

By the way, there is not any problem which cannot be addressed. Before the punishment, it is more important to rear children and make them ready for school. In other world, Parents should be justified about the upbringing of their kids and struggle to refine their behavior before entering to school. If the protective activities were not adequate, a contemporary encouragement and punishment system should be applied. In fact student should know the consequence of their reaction. Take as an illustration, if a student annoy his/her classmate should be forced to help in compulsory social services or should be occupied to clean with cleaning the landscape of school.

In conclusion, it could infer, however diverse parameter may lead student to react in unaccepted way in school, they could be refined by appropriate solution.

Subject: Please review my IELTS essay
Topic: In many countries schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think is are the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?


Your topic has several errors. Are you sure you copied it correctly?

Most of your writing in unnatural or ungrammatical English. I don't understand a lot of it. Please write simple sentences using words that you understand.



My essay:

Nowadays, students bother (wrong word) schools severely in many countries. Different factors may cause this student’s (That means one student in particular. Do you mean this?) behavior, nevertheless it is not impossible to apply some measures to refine (wrong word) their action.

There are diverse reasons (wrong word) which provoke students to do unpleasant activity.(wrong form) Firstly, First, (Use "First, second, third, fourth" for enumerations.) with spreading the virtual the popularity of computer games, not only are children not able to drain their energy physically, but also, they are leaded to exaggerative reaction in the real world. In addition the incapability of teachers in facing technological problem (I don't know what you mean. What is the technological problem that teachers face?) from one side and ability of children to tackle this issues (wrong form) from other side, destroy the limitation (??) between student and teacher, so that hardly do student care to teacher attend to their teachers. (ungrammatical) Apart from all (missing word) has been said, new children (babies?) see more attention in home why usually, with decreasing the number of kids, (ungrammatical) parents are more sensitive about their children and this fact may make children rude.

By the way, there is not any problem which cannot be addressed. Before the punishment, (what punishment?) it is more important to rear children and make them ready for school. In other world, (??) Parents should be justified about the upbringing of their kids and struggle to refine their behavior before entering to school. If the protective activities were not adequate, a contemporary encouragement and punishment system should be applied. In fact student (wrong form) should know the consequence of their reaction. Take as an illustration, if a student annoy (wrong word) his/her classmate (missing subject) should be forced to help in compulsory social services or should be occupied to clean with cleaning the landscape of school.

In conclusion, it could infer, however diverse parameter may lead student to react in unaccepted way in school, they could be refined by appropriate solution.

Topic: In many countries school have severe problem with student behavior. What do you think are the cause of this? What solution can you suggest?

My essay:

The youth behavior in schools is a main issue in societies. Not only do their activity affect schools but also the society is influenced. The several solutions exist to tackle such a problem.

Parents have a great effect on their children manner because they spend most of time together. Some parents, especially new parents, spoil them rotten by providing everything and never say no to them even in contrast by unattainable demands. So, children think they have the right to behave with others like their parents and reveal rebellious manners in schools. Furthermore, in some schools, children determine how to administrate the rules cause their managers want to achieve some financial objectives especially in private schools. It could lead to unacceptable behavior of youth. Moreover, some new violence films and animations incline them to show some strange conducts among their peers.

Investigating the roots of these manners could help to react in better way. Some violent behavior either among family members or friends make bullying children. If it is, manager should ask their parents to some change in their home or friends. In addition, some reforms in parents' actions could be effective especially when the youth make mistake in schools. They do not defend their children against any fault that they make. Adults must react decisively to teach them how the breaking rules could end. Above of all, some official law in outer world of schools should be applied like banning the possession of guns. Some youth make trouble for their classmates, teachers and schools by attacking them with guns.

In conclusions, it is true that various reasons for behavior problem of children in schools, some steps need to be taken to deal with this issue.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Topic: In many countries school have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?


You have a problem with when to use a singular versus a plural noun. Please review this topic in your grammar book. It is very basic English grammar.

I have made some corrections to the first two paragraphs, but not the last two. I have highlighted some of the mistakes.


My essay:

The youth unruly / discourteous / obnoxious behavior of pupils in schools is a main an issue in some societies. Not only do their activities affect schools but also the society is influenced. The Several solutions exist to tackle such a problem.

Parents have a great effect on their children manner (children's manners) because they spend most of their time together. Some parents, especially new parents, spoil their children rotten by providing everything and never saying no to them no matter how outlandish their demands are. even in contrast by unattainable demands. So, children think they have the right to behave badly with others like their parents and do so reveal rebellious manners in schools. Furthermore, in some schools, children determine how to administrate the rules cause their managers want to achieve some financial objectives especially in private schools. (This is unfathomable. I have no idea what you want to say. Schools are generally not concerned with financial objectives; their goal is to teach children. ) It (??) could lead to the children's unacceptable behavior of youth. Moreover, some new violence films and animations incline them to act aggressively towards show some strange conducts among their peers.

Investigating the roots of these manners could help to react in better way. Some violent behavior either among family members or friends make bullying children. If it is, manager (Managers are in commercial businesses. That is not the correct word for a school.) should ask their parents to make some changes in their home or friends. In addition, some reforms in parents' actions could be effective especially when the youth make mistake in schools. They do not defend their children against any fault that they make. Adults must react decisively to teach them how the breaking rules could end. Above of all, some official law in outer world of schools should be applied like banning the possession of guns. Some youth make trouble for their classmates, teachers and schools by attacking them with guns.

In conclusions, it is true that there are various reasons for behavior problem of children in schools, some steps need to be taken to deal with this issue.