Task 2: Some people think that the best way to improve road safety is to increase the minimum legal age for driving a car or motorbike. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Some people argue that raising the age of car and motorbike users is the most efficient way to enhance road safety. Personally, I disagree with this statement as I believe road accidents result from the lack of people’s awareness and experience, and also the degradation of roads, rather than the age of traffic participants.
From my perspective, educating drivers is one of the best ways to strengthen road safety since their lack of awareness and experience are often the main culprit of traffic accidents. Some people who do not have a good educational foundation or even do not know anything about traffic regulations usually make light of obeying rules and traffic laws. Surveys have shown that most of the accidents which were reported happened because the drivers did not wear helmets or in other situations, were not sober enough to control their vehicles, leading to tragic incidents. Furthermore, regardless of the age, once people do not have enough experience and flexibility to cope with unexpected situations in the process of driving, they can also become victims or the causes of accidents. For instance, some car crashes claiming many people’s lives occurred because of the lack of experience and vehicle control skills of drivers in humid and wet weather. Therefore, in those situations, raising awareness and training drivers are the most appropriate ways to increase road safety.
Concentrating on reconstructing new roads is another way to improve traffic safety in general. In this way, not only can people drive safely but this policy also benefits the transportation industry in general. Surveys have shown that in countries where the government pour a huge amount of money into roads, the traffic accidents are minimized.
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that raising the minimum legal age is the best way to enhance road safety. Instead, raising the awareness of drivers and rebuilding roads, in my opinion, will directly decrease traffic accidents.
LilinggggTo what extent do you agree or disagree?
You did not answer the essay prompt clearly. The examiner is looking for an answer to this question: To what extent do you agree or disagree?
It is good to know a good handful of adverbs of extent because this is a very common prompt in IELTS Task 2 essays.
Complete agreement / disagreement:
------------
completely
fully
totally
wholeheartedly
unreservedly
with no reservations
without reservation
unequivocally
unquestionably
with no hesitation
unconditionally
You do not have the advanced writing skills for a "partial" agreement. You have to be consistently writing at band score 7.5 or higher to successfully write a "partly agree" essay. Take one side - total agreement or total disagreement and write two body paragraphs for your answer.
Some people argue that raising the minimum age to get a driver's license of car and motorbike users (Wrong word. User is for apps and computers, not vehicles.) is the most efficient way to ensure safer roads. enhance road safety. Personally, I completely disagree with this measure / approach / policy / change to the law statement (The statement is: "Some people are arguing...." Do you disagree that people are arguing about this? It is a totally settled non-issue?) as I believe road accidents result from the lack of people’s awareness and experience, and also the degradation of roads, rather than the age of the drivers. traffic participants. (wrong phrase. It is not a natural collocation. A pedestrian or cyclist could be a "traffic participant"!)
From my perspective, educating drivers is one of the best ways to strengthen road safety since their lack of awareness and experience are often the main culprit of traffic accidents. Some people who do not have a good educational foundation or even do not know anything about traffic regulations usually make light of obeying rules and traffic laws. Surveys have shown that most of the accidents which were reported happened because the drivers did not wear helmets or in other situations, they were not sober enough to control their vehicles, leading to tragic incidents. (You should develop this argument about helmets and drunk driving. Your essay lacks coherence and cohesion. Do not just list one argument per sentence, one after another. That is a shopping list, not an essay. You repeat "lack of experience" a lot. You need to develop the idea. ) Furthermore, regardless of the age, once (wrong word) if people do not have enough experience or a quick reaction time and flexibility (wrong word) to cope with unexpected situations in the process of driving, (redundant. ) they can also become victims or the causes of accidents. For instance, some car crashes claiming many people’s lives occurred because of the lack of experience and vehicle control skills of drivers in humid and wet weather. Therefore, in those situations, raising awareness and training drivers are the most appropriate ways to increase road safety.
Concentrating on reconstructing (wrong word. 'Re- means again. A new road is a first time.) new roads is another way to improve traffic safety in general. In this way, not only can people drive safely but this policy also benefits the transportation industry in general. Surveys have shown that in countries where the government continuously invest in pour a huge amount of money into roads, the traffic accidents are minimized.
In conclusion, I disagree with the statement that raising the minimum legal age is the best way to raise enhance road safety. Instead, raising the awareness of drivers and rebuilding roads, in my opinion, will directly decrease traffic accidents.
Thank you for helping me fulfill this essay.
And I also want to ask that which score do I get for this essay?
LilinggggAnd I also want to ask that which score do I get for this essay?
I do not give scores as I have access only to the public band descriptors, and not the official examiner's guide.
What is your goal?
You need to work on coherence and cohesion, that is developing an argument point logically and smoothly. Do not jump from one point to another point. Another issue is repetition and redundancy.
Watch this 5-part video course on how IELTS essays are scored. I am not promoting Adam's book. You can get all the main ideas from the videos. You do not have to buy the book. Each video is about 15-20 minutes. He gives excellent advice on how to get the best score for IELTS writing.
In the first video, at 11:15, Adam says "The easier it is for the examiner to read and understand your writing, the higher your score will be."
Part 1: https://youtu.be/kv7kdbw4_fU Introduction
Part 2: https://youtu.be/TnjKk2Hng4A Grammatical Range and accuracy
Part 3: https://youtu.be/LLJYNEsGdPI Lexical Resource (vocabulary)
Part 4: https://youtu.be/iurqANTFj2M Cohesion and Coherence
Part 5: https://youtu.be/oCQvsrLw4Cc Task Response.