Young people often copy the behaviour of famous people, so celebrities should only be allowed to advertise healthy food or drink and should not encourage unhealthy habits such as smoking.

Do you agree or disagree?

Television, social media and many other forms of modern media have facilitated the increased likelihood of many people, from actors, singers and sportspeople, gaining great fame and power to affect society, especially young children, who are extremely vulnerable. As a result, many people advocate that governments should introduce a ban on celebrity endorsement of unhealthy products, and famous people should not engage in habits that are harmful to health. I partly agree with the statement.

On the one hand, celebrities have a lot of influence. Their lifestyles are often glorified and imitated by others, and one way that their fans show support is to purchase their idols’ endorsed products. The sales of a certain beverage, for example, had experienced a fivefold increase after a week of seeing Jeon Jung-kook, a member of a worldwide famous Korean boyband, drinking it during a livestream. Unfortunately, many celebrities are also often seen participating in bad practices such as smoking and drinking alcohol, and advertising fast food, sugar-sweetened drinks and other harmful products which are linked to several diseases. Major brands such as McDonald’s and Pepsi, for example, usually put a celebrity face on their products to boost sales. Therefore, famous people might cause people to adopt a lifestyle that is not good for their health.

On the other hand, restrictions on what celebrities can endorse, or how they behave, seem both unreasonable and ineffective to some extent. Celebrities are also human – they are not perfect, thus, requiring them to only have good habits is rather unrealistic. Similarly, they should have the freedom to endorse whatever they want as advertising is an important aspect of their jobs to acquire wealth and more public exposure. In addition, the impact of celebrities on consumer choices is not as significant as several other factors, including socio-economic status, and products’ price and quality. For instance, people on low income have a higher tendency to eat fast food due to convenience and cost. Without hiring celebrities for promotion, companies that sell unhealthy products could just put the saved money into other forms of advertising or cut down their products’ price.

In conclusion, although celebrities should be aware of their influence and should promote good lifestyles, it is not necessary to restrict what they do and advertise.

Can anyone review my essay, please?

Some comments:

1- You wrote 377 words! That's too many. You do not have time in the exam for that. Aim for an absolute maximum of 280 (250-270 is ideal).

2- Do not complicate your sentences. Otherwise, you risk making them unnatural/ungrammatical. The first sentence of your introduction is one such example. Simplify!

3- Your second body paragraph is not on topic. The question is not about what celebrities do in their private lives; rather, it is about what they advertise and promote. That paragraph needs to change radically.

4- This is just practice; it is not the real test. Therefore, you should do some research on the internet to get ideas for your essay. That will help you improve your writing skill.

Revise and post below.

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The ubiquity of social media has allowed many people to gain great fame and power to affect society. Since young children are extremely vulnerable to this influence, many people advocate that celebrities should be banned from advertising and promoting unhealthy food and habits. I completely disagree with this view.

First, restrictions on what celebrities can endorse, or how they behave, seem unreasonable. Celebrities are also human – they are not perfect, so requiring them to only have good habits is rather unrealistic. For example, to maintain a thin body, famous people often need to follow diets for weight loss, and they also often smoke or abuse drugs to release stress from the scrutiny by the press and public. Although children can imitate these harmful behaviors, it is parents' and schools' role to educate about the related negative effects and prevent them from adopting these habits. Furthermore, advertising is a vital aspect of famous people’s occupation to acquire wealth and more public exposure, so they should have the right to endorse what they think is beneficial.

Second, regulation of celebrity branding and lifestyle can be ineffective. Even if governments ban celebrities from promoting unhealthy products, there are still several more important factors affecting consumer choice, including socio-economic status, and the price and quality of products. For example, poverty drives people to consume convenient and inexpensive fast food. In addition, the money companies used to pay for hiring celebrities can be allocated to other forms of advertising, or they can cut down their product prices to boost consumption.

In conclusion, it might not be reasonable and effective to only allow celebrities to advertise healthy products, so society should rather focus on solving other more significant contributors that lead to poor choice of consumption and habits.

The [ 1] ubiquity of [ 2] social media has allowed many people to gain great fame and power to affect society. The power of the mass media is undeniable, and what famous celebrities do and say is often emulated by many people. Since young individuals [ 3] children are quite [ 4] extremely vulnerable to this influence, many people advocate that celebrities should be [ 4] banned from advertising and promoting not be allowed to advertise and promote unhealthy food and other products. habits. I [ 4] completely disagree with this view.

First, restrictions on what celebrities can endorse, or how they behave, seem unreasonable. Celebrities are also human – they are not perfect, so requiring them to only have good interfering in their choices in life or their habits is rather unrealistic. For example, to maintain a thin body, many famous people often need to follow diets for weight loss, and they also often smoke or abuse drugs drink alcohol to release escape the stress from the scrutiny by the press and public. However, that is their personal choice. Moreover, although children young individuals can imitate these harmful behaviors, it is the responsibility of parents and schools role to educate young people about the related negative effects and prevent them from adopting these habits. Furthermore, advertising is a vital aspect of for famous people ’s occupation to acquire wealth make money and gain more public exposure, so they should have the right to endorse what they think is consider beneficial.

Second, regulating what celebrities can promote on of celebrity branding and lifestyle can is likely to be ineffective. Even if governments ban celebrities from promoting unhealthy products, there are still several more important factors affecting consumer choice, including socio-economic status, and the price and quality of products. For example, it is mainly poverty that drives people to consume convenient and inexpensive fast food. In addition, the money companies save by not paying used to pay for hiring celebrities can be allocated to other forms of advertising, or they it can help companies cut down their product prices to boost consumption.

In conclusion, it might not be reasonable and effective to only allow restrict what products celebrities are allowed to advertise, healthy products, so society should rather focus on solving other more significant contributors that lead to poor consumer choice. of consumption and habits.

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[ 1]: Do not use fancy words.

[ 2]: This essay is not about social media.

[ 3]: The question is not about young children only.

[ 4]: That is too strong.

Thank you very much. Every time I saw your review, I felt quite discouraged (because I made so many mistakes) but reassuring at the same time as I had a native point out my errors. I really appreciate your kindness.

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You're welcome. Keep practising! It's the best way to improve. Emotion: smile