Question:
The economic development plays a major role in people’s lives. Economic growth in both developed and developing countries make the country richer, but it is believed that people in developing countries are happier that those in developed ones.
Do you agree or disagree?
Essay:
Nowadays, the economic advance in the global contributes significantly to the lives of human beings. Many are of the opinion that the economic development in developed and developing nations are immensely beneficial because it makes that countries become wealthy, but citizens in developed nations feel less satisfied than those living in developing ones. Personally speaking, I agree to a certain extent.
To begin with, it is transparent that people who dwell in developing countries are much happier than their counterparts in developed countries because of the fact that they do not have to suffer from severe competition in the labour market. What creates this fact is that most labour force in these nations have a low level of education and poor living standards, and they seem not to be required to fulfil strict requirements from bosses and colleagues. In other words, their job tasks are easy to cope with, so they do not frequently fall into stress or depression in the workplace.
In addition, I also claim that there is no to be much happier for persons who live in both developed and undeveloped countries. That is due to the levels of happiness depending on each individual. For example, a couple feels extremely fulfilled when they have a wonderful holiday on the beach together. However, for high-school students, they are over the moon since they can enter the universities that they prefer. Obviously, the things that cause each of them to be happy are completely different in spite of their nations.
In conclusion, I partly advocate the view that individuals in developing nations are more on cloud nine than those who come from ones having thriving industrties.
Nowadays, the economic advances in the global (Global is an adjective. Do not use it like a noun.) contributes significantly to our / people's the lives of human beings. (We only use "human beings" in biological contexts, that is, comparison with other animal species.) Many are of the opinion that the economic development in developed and developing nations are (wrong verb form) immensely beneficial because it makes that (wrong word ) countries become wealthy, but citizens people in developed nations feel less satisfied than those living in developing ones. Personally speaking, I agree to a certain extent.
To begin with, it is transparent that people who dwell (not a good word choice) in developing countries are much happier than their counterparts in developed countries because of the fact that (verbose, wordy. Unnecessary words.) they do not have to suffer from severe competition in the labour market. What creates this situation fact is that most individuals labour force in these nations have a low level of education and poor living standards, and they seem not to be under pressure required to fulfil strict requirements from bosses and colleagues. In other words, their job tasks are easy to cope with, so they do not frequently fall into stress or depression in the workplace.
Your next paragraph needs to have another reason why you agree. Do not write a "discuss both views" essay.
In addition, I also claim that (verbose) there is no to be much (Poor English. I do not understand this.) happier for persons who live in both developed and undeveloped countries. That is due to the levels of happiness depending on each individual. For example, a couple feels extremely fulfilled when they have a wonderful holiday on the beach together. However, for high-school students, (no hyphen) they are elated over the moon since they can enter the universities that they prefer. Obviously, the things that cause each of them to be happy are completely different in spite of where they live. their nations.
In conclusion, I partly advocate the view ("Advocate" is not a natural word here.) concur that individuals in developing nations are more content on cloud nine (Do not use these non-academic idioms. This is not suitable for an essay.) than those who come from ones having thriving industrties.
Comments
I yearn to receive comments of someone warm-hearted for my essay.
Review this lesson on how to write an agree/disagree essay. You need to learn this. You must not answer "partly agree". That is not a good answer to the prompt "Do you agree or disagree?"
There are only two possible answers to this question.
1. I agree.
2. I disagree.
Even if the prompt is 'To what extent do you agree or disagree?" you must write either completely agree or "completely disagree". You do not have the advanced writing skills required to successfully write a "partial agreement" essay. If you try to write a partial agreement, surely you will end up writing a "discuss both views" essay type. And that is not good for your "task response" score.
It means the world to me. Thank you so much.
I beg to differ. I think it's perfectly acceptable to partially agree with any given statement, in IELTS as well as in the real world!
Not quite. A "discuss both views/sides" essay just presents a diverse range of views about some issue. It does not require the writer to explain why they agree (to whatever extent) with a particular proposition.
You are right about "in the real world."
But I am giving advice about a specific (contrived) situation, achieving a high band score on an IELTS Task 2 exam.
A student will optimize their score, given their skill level, by answering the exact prompt in the task, and focusing like a laser on the instructions.
There is another video post on this channel about how to do a "partial" agreement/disagreement answer, but it requires the skills of balance and rebuttal. If you "partly agree", it is like a 75% agreement, and the writer has to convey that degree in the essay. If you can pull it off, you can get a band 8-9 score. Also, that type of essay has the prompt "To what extent do you agree or disagree?" That is a different kettle of fish than the prompt "Do you agree or disagree?"
Following the instructions is a virtue.