Topic: Improvements in health, education, and trade are essential for the development of poorer nations. However, the governments of richer nations should take more responsibility for helping the poorer nations in such areas.

It goes without saying that balancing the world economic growth between developing and industrialized countries is one of the most significant woes facing us today. Especially, many poorer areas are completely on the line by virtue of lowly healthcare, an unstructured education system, and weak international trade. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the assistance of wealthy nations for those countries to overcome stumbling blocks should sit high in the must-do-lists.

First of all, it worth considering that the medication in impoverished nations is going backward on account of undeveloped economics, which is a step back to inhibit these countries from innovating. Particularly, Africa is considered as a typical example of weak healthcare facilities, where a whole host of diseased people have no sign of decline during recent years. The widespread AIDS epidemic drives people to the verge of poverty and loss of families. Conversely, should they gain international help from better-off areas, the infection can be ameliorated considerably.

Another point worth noting is the shortcoming of education systems in underprivileged nations. When it comes to learning conditions, it is noticeable that these countries are lacking a large number of well-qualified teachers, as well as modern equipment in each class. Additionally, just a particular group of students can afford to go to school, leading to a huge quantity of the illiterated. Consequently, the wealth-off nations should offer scholarships, loan to the qualified students, and provide more experienced teachers in poorer-related areas.

Equally important, in terms of commerce, it is deniable that indigent nations are lagging behind industrialized ones on ground of shortage of finance. For example, residents in rural areas still depend completely on agricultural fields; therefore, trade cannot be attractive and draw the attention of any other countries. There should be an exchange of goods between developing and affluent areas to reduce the gap of economic. The richer nations can also give consultation on setting up a complete and efficient transportation infrastructure to support trading.

In conclusion, leaders of the richer countries should exert themselves to help poor-prone areas regarding health, education, and trade. Developing and industrialized countries should solidarity and mutually facilitate to mitigate the enormous gap, as well as make sure enhance material and spritual life for miserable residents.

Much of your writing is awkward or unnatural English. You sometimes say exactly the opposite of what you mean. You need to improve your vocabulary to be able to use the words appropriately. Your essay makes good points and is well organized. Transitions are good.



It goes without saying that balancing the world economic growth between developing and industrialized countries (That is not the topic. It is not about decreasing the economic growth of industrialized countries. In "balance" you increase one side and decrease the other so they are equal.) is one of the most significant woes (wrong word) facing us today. Especially, many poorer areas are completely on the line (wrong expression) by virtue of lowly (wrong word) healthcare, an unstructured (wrong word) education system, and weak international trade. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the assistance of wealthy nations for those countries to overcome stumbling blocks should sit high in the must-do-lists. (That is rather casual for a formal essay.)


Here is an example paragraph:

One of the most significant challenges for the world today is the large wealth gap between industrialized and undeveloped or developing countries. The poorer countries lack good healthcare facilities and a good education system. They also do not have adequate transportation infrastructure to be able to participate in international trade and develop their economies. I strongly believe that the rich countries should provide assistance to these countries so they can improve the quality of life for their citizens.



First of all, it worth considering that the medication (wrong word - a medication is a pill or drug that a person takes.) in impoverished nations is going backward on account of undeveloped economics, which is a step back to inhibit (??) these countries from innovating. Particularly, Africa is considered as a typical example of weak inadequate healthcare facilities, where a whole host of diseased (wrong usage) people have no sign of decline (The people are not getting more sick?) during recent years. The widespread AIDS epidemic drives people to the verge of poverty and loss of families. Conversely, (wrong word) should they gain international help from better-off areas, the infection (wrong word) can be ameliorated considerably.

Another point worth noting is the shortcoming of education systems in underprivileged nations. When it comes to learning conditions in schools, it is noticeable that these countries are lacking a large number of well-qualified teachers, as well as modern equipment in each class. Additionally, just a particular group of students can afford to go to school, leading to a huge quantity (wrong word) of the illiterated. Consequently, the wealth-off (wrong word) nations should offer scholarships, loan (wrong form) to the qualified students, and provide more experienced teachers in poorer-related (wrong word) areas.

Equally important, in terms of commerce, it is deniable that indigent (wrong word) nations are lagging behind industrialized ones on ground of shortage of finance. For example, residents in rural areas still depend completely on agricultural fields; therefore, trade cannot be attractive and draw the attention of any other countries. There should be an exchange of goods between developing and affluent areas to reduce the gap of economic. The richer nations can also give consultation on setting up a complete and efficient transportation infrastructure to support trade. trading.

In conclusion, leaders of the richer countries should exert themselves to help poor-prone areas regarding health, education, and trade. Developing and industrialized countries should solidarity (wrong word) and mutually facilitate to mitigate the enormous gap, as well as make sure enhance material and spritual life for miserable residents.

Thank you so much for your comment!
It helps me a lot