Topic:

Students prefer doing part time jobs during their studies. Do you think this has more advantages or more disadvantages?


My Essay:

Several people nowadays who are receiving formal studies wish to work part-time throughout the school semester. This has caused a debate whether such versatility can produce more positives or setbacks. Personally, a temporary work may offer a lot of benefits for students as they might gain invaluable skills and build their job profile.


There are some useful skills that may be obtained when students enter the professional world. One of which is teamwork since they are able to take part in problem solving and share responsibilities with co-workers of varying personality. As they learn to weigh their priorities to fulfill the demands on and off campus, working students can acquire the skill of managing time effectively. These values may indeed prepare them for life after graduation where lack of cooperation and unfinished results are commonly frowned upon. As a former college sophomore who have experienced working on a night shift as a research assistant in a university, I applied these core principles in my current profession and this has led me to become more efficient during the course of my career.


Taking on a job while pursuing a degree can also boost employment prospects. Since most companies prefer to choose applicants with some understanding about workplace environment, students with employment history have more edge over other candidates during job hunting season. Previous employers may also write excellent recommendation letters for students who have worked for them, adding extra value on their résumé. This shows that working students are dependable, goal-oriented and mature enough to face any challenges linked at work. Recent survey conducted in large firms has shown that 90% of hiring staff admit that they select graduates with at least 1 year of work-related experience since they believe that these potential full-time workers are already accustomed to the business world, which will make the transition much easier.


In conclusion, people who have a part-time job on top of their study may gain substantial amounts of benefits and this can gear themselves up to embark on their chosen career paths.

Several people (Several people means ten or so, certainly less than twenty. Are there only ten students that you are thinking about?) nowadays who are receiving (wrong word. You can receive a letter, a gift, congratulations, an invitation or a package. People do not receive studies.) formal studies wish to work part-time throughout the school semester. This has caused a debate (The topic does not mention any debate; it just asks for your opinion. Do not add things to the topic that are not in it.) whether such versatility (wrong word. ) can produce more positives or setbacks. Personally, a (wrong usage. "Work" is non-count. "a + work" is not grammatical. ) temporary work may offer a lot of benefits for students as they might gain invaluable skills and build their obtain experience for their resume. job profile.


There are some useful skills that may be obtained when students enter the professional world. (wrong expression. It is about a modest temporary job for a student. Such jobs might be waiting tables and serving food in a restaurant, taking orders at Kentucky Fried Chicken, shelving books in the library or delivering pizzas. Normally that is not professional work such as a nurse, doctor or lawyer.) . One of these which is teamwork since they are able to take part in problem solving and share responsibilities with co-workers of varying personality. As they learn to weigh their priorities to meet fulfill the demands on and off campus, working students can acquire the skill of managing time effectively. These valuable skills may indeed prepare them for life after graduation where lack of cooperation and unfinished results are commonly frowned upon. As a former college sophomore who have (wrong form) experienced working the on a night shift as a research assistant in a university, I applied these core principles in my current profession and this has led me to become more efficient during the course of my career.


Taking on a job while pursuing a degree can also boost employment prospects. Since most companies prefer to choose applicants with some understanding of the about workplace environment, students with an employment history have an more edge over other candidates when applying for jobs. during job hunting season. Previous employers may also write excellent recommendation letters for students who have worked for them, adding extra value on their résumé. This shows that working students are dependable, goal-oriented and mature enough to face any challenges linked at work. A recent survey conducted in large firms has shown that 90% of hiring staff admit that they select graduates with at least 1 (write this in words. Do not use numerals in a formal essay.) year of work-related experience since they believe that these potential full-time workers are already accustomed to the business world, which will make the transition much easier.


In conclusion, people who have a part-time job on top of their study may gain substantial amounts (wrong word. - substantial benefits) of benefits and this can gear themselves up to embark on their chosen career paths.

are receiving (wrong word. You can receive a letter, a gift, congratulations, an invitation or a package. People do not receive studies.)

May I ask what is the appropriate collocation for formal study? Thank you!

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asherdolinaMay I ask what is the appropriate collocation for formal study?

There is no good verb here.

Those who are in university / school
Those who are taking courses
Those who are studying