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Pls review my writing, thanks so much!

Task 2: Global warming is the biggest threat people are facing in the 21st century and sea level rises at an alarming rate. What are the causes and what can be done to solve the problems?

More and more global issues related to higher temperature and ocean level rising are the largest threat that human beings face in the current time. The primary cause of this phenomenon is greenhouse gases emission and the most viable solution is renewable resources.

Greenhouse gases, especially carbon dioxide, contribute to warming up the Earth’s atmosphere. Most gases released from human activities as burning fossil fuels like coal, oil for plants, transportation have trap heat in the atmosphere or Greenhouse effect. The hotter atmosphere, the more water heats up, leading to expansion of ocean size and the glacier ice sheets melting in the mountains, Greenland and Antarctic. This result in rising ocean level and the coastal areas would be the first place obviously affected by this increasing elevation of sea surface, in terms of erosion, salted contamination, flooding. Consequently, large impacts on damaging the crops, infrastructure, human’s properties and dangerously threatening to human lives. According to a prediction that two-third coastal cities in the world would disappear in 2050 because of rising sea level.

A long term solution to this predicament is to change and consume renewable energy from clean and friendly resources such as solar, wind, hydropower, geothermal power. While using this energy, not only it doesn’t emit carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gases that take part in planet-warming effects, but also reduce using fossil fuel, which is a limited resource. For instance, Iceland is known for being the most clean electricity country, with 100% of its energy generated from renewable sources (geothermal and hydroelectric power plants). This has encouraged many other parts of the world to switch to green power.

By and large, admittedly, the planet is warmer and sea level surface is higher at severe dangers because human activities have spread out the greenhouse gases. Therefore, people have to take action to use green energy as soon as possible to save this planet.

Comments  

I have changed parts to make the essay flow more easily, but have tried not to change your essay too much because it’s your essay

Blue= my comments and suggestions.

Red – corrections and alternatives.

Green= parts/words I liked

crossing out = mistakes= words sentences grammar etc

Task 2: Global warming is the biggest threat people are facing in the 21st century and sea levels rises are rising at an alarming rate. What are the causes and what can be done to solve the problems?

More and more Today, we see many global issues which are related to (caused by) higher environmental temperatures and these oc eanlevel rising are the largest present a threat that to human beings today.face in the current time. One major threat is a rise in sea level T he primary which is a caused of this phenomenon that is caused by a rise in greenhouse gases and industrial emissions . I believe that one the of the most viable solutions is to use renewable resources.

Greenhouse gases, especially carbon dioxide, contribute to warming up the Earth’s atmosphere. Most gases are released from human activities such as burning fossil fuels like coal, and oil used for plants and transportation. Consequently, these gases have trap heat in the atmosphere causing and therefore contribute to the greenhouse effect. The hotter the atmosphere, the more the water heats up, leading to expansion of the ocean’s size and to the glacier ice sheets melting on the mountains in Greenland and the Antarctic. This results in rising ocean levels and the coastal areas would will be the first place obviously affected by this .increasing Elevated of sea and ocean levels cause surface, in terms of erosion, salted contamination, flooding., and damage,to large impacts on damaging the crops, infrastructure, and human’s properties therefore dangerously threatening to human lives. According to a prediction, that two-thirds of coastal cities in the world would disappear in 2050 because of a rising sea level.

A long term solution to this predicament is to change use and consume renewable energy from clean and friendly resources such as solar, wind, hydro power, and geothermal power. While Using this energy, not only it doesn’t emit reduces carbon dioxide and other greenhouse gas emissions that take part in , which causes planet-warming ,effects, but also reduces using the use of fossil fuels, which is a limited resource. For instance, Iceland is known for being the most cleanest electricity country, energy consumer with 100% of its energy generated from renewable sources (geothermal and hydroelectric power plants). This has encouraged many other parts of the world to switch to green power.

By and large, admittedly, The planet is warmer and sea levels surface is are higher at severe dangers because human activities have spread out increased the levels of greenhouse gases. Therefore, people have to take action to and use green energy as soon as possible to save this planet.

COMMENTS

1.Your introduction is paraphrased nicely.

2.Make sure your thesis statement is precise and not vague. The examiner/reader should have no doubts about your opinion.

3. I think most of your punctuation is OK. Try not to write such long sentences. Don’t be afraid to start new sentences. Use lots of conjunctions to connect related ideas.

4. The essay asked about causes and solutions which you gave, but I think you wrote too much about the effects.

5. You used some very nice vocabulary and on the whole your grammar was OK. Try to avoid small grammar mistakes like “more cleaner” and “fossil fuel” etc.

6. Avoid introductions like more and more which SOME examiners will consider as being cliche .

7. You have some great ideas and seem to know the topic well.

8. I am not sure that when water heats up it causes the ocean to expand. I think water levels rise because of melting glaciers and snow. I may be wrong. However you are being graded on your English ability, but be careful not to make too many factual errors in an essay.

Your conclusion was OK.