Hi

Please review this IELTS Task 1 Writing


The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing frozen fish pie.

One series of processes produce potato French chips, the final ingredient. and the other gets the fish ready for the pie. While the former is a simple process, the latter is a labor intensive and elaborate one.

Potatoes reach the production line almost a month early, but whereas fish is brought there not later than twelve hours. Potatoes are thoroughly cleaned, peeled and sliced for finger chips. They are boiled, chilled and moved to the store. Unlike the potatoes, which are cleaned with water, fish is cleaned using lemon juice and salt before being steamed in the oven. It goes for visual inspection after the skin and bones are removed. Thereafter, peas, sauce, and potato finger chips are added to it. The pie is wrapped and stored in the freezer from where it will be dispatched to the wholesale and retail outlets.


Suresh

The diagram is faulty. Chips are not used in fish pie, but mashed potatoes are the top crust. The step to mash the boiled potatoes, mixing in some milk and butter, is missing.

It is not your fault that the description is not correct. The diagram is quite misleading and flawed.



The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing frozen fish pies.

One series of processes produce potato French chips, the final ingredient. and the other gets the fish ready for the pie. (That is not a good description.) While the former is a simple process, the latter is a labor intensive and elaborate one.

Potatoes reach their production line almost a month early, but whereas the fish is brought there not later than twelve hours prior to cooking. Potatoes are thoroughly cleaned, peeled and sliced for finger chips. They are boiled, chilled and moved to storage. the store. Unlike the potatoes, which are cleaned with water, fish is cleaned using lemon juice and salt (That is not correct. When we clean fish, we cut off the head and tail, gut it - that is, remove the entrails, remove the scales, then the bones. This diagram does not include the numerous steps to prepare the fillets. The sprinkling of lemon juice and salt is for flavoring.) before being steamed in the oven. It goes for visual inspection after the skin and bones are removed. Thereafter, peas, sauce, and potato finger chips are added to it. The pie is wrapped and stored in the freezer from where it will be dispatched to the wholesale and retail outlets.


Sample Essay: (~190 words)

The diagram illustrates the process of manufacturing frozen fish pies.

There are two production lines: one for the pie crust, made of potatoes, and the other for the filling, made of fish, sauce and peas. While the former is a simple process, the latter is a labor intensive and elaborate one. There are several steps not shown: the preparation of the salmon fillets, the peas and the sauce.

Potatoes can be stored for up to a month before being delivered to their production line, but the salmon must be fresh, delivered no later than twelve hours prior to cooking. In the first process, potatoes are thoroughly washed, peeled and sliced and then boiled, chilled and moved to storage. The salmon fillets come into the main production line, and are seasoned with lemon juice and salt before being cooked in a steamer. Next, the skin and bones are removed, which is a manual process. Then they undergo a visual inspection before being mixed with pre-prepared peas and sauce in individual serving bowls. The cooked potatoes are then added on top. The containers are packaged and frozen, ready for shipment to grocery stores.

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Thank you very much, Alphecca Stars.

I went through the changes you have made. I understand them.

And, the sample essay that you have written is superb. I am able to see the level of thought that has gone into the phrasing of each sentence.

I think it is mainly to do with understanding what is given, having fundamental knowledge of general things and having the ability to express them clearly and accurately, for example the cleaning of the fish. You have expressed it so well. When I think about it now I am thinking why I had not done it though I knew it because I have seen them being cleaned many times.

I am very glad that I am learning a lot from the changes you make. You have been helping me constantly.

When I see you being critical or being a little plain in pulling me up for the mistakes, I feel you rightfully deserve to do it.

He who has the heart to help, has the right to criticize. (Abraham Lincoln)

Thank you once again

Suresh