The topic: The older people who need employment have to compete with younger ones. What problems can this create? What are some solutions?

My thesis statement:

With the rapid increase of population in recent years, the redundant in many corporations has been an inevitable thing owing to the requirement of high work's performance. It was a root cause of unemployment of elder people because they need to be replaced by younger ones. The competition between older workforce and younger ones has become a serious issue for a variety of reasons, but, fortunately, there are ways we can deal with this problem.

Please help me to review my thesis statement, thanks in advance!

DO NGOC DUYPlease help me to review my thesis statement, thanks in advance!

Incorrect request.

Consider this:

1. Please help mother shop for food. = Mother goes shopping for food. You go with her and help her by picking out nice vegetables. You carry the heavy bag and she carries the light bag.

2. Mother says, "Please shop for food." = You go to the store and buy food for the family.

And this:

1. Please help me to review my thesis statement. = You review the thesis statement. I look at you while you are doing the review and give some advice.

2. Please review my thesis statement. = I review your statement and make comments.

DO NGOC DUYMy thesis statement:

A thesis statement is ONE sentence. It is the main point of your essay. Here is an example:

Competition between old and young people for the best jobs can cause problems for society, but there are ways to effectively deal with it.

Put the thesis statement in the opening paragraph of the essay.

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