Please review my essay. Thank you so much for your help.

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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The population with more people in their early adulthoods than those living in their declining years can be a double-edged issue for a country. I believe, however, despite some detrimental effects, which this population might bring up, it will be wholly inferior to the beneficial ones.

Initially, although the country populated with more young citizens might withstand a serial loss of traditional customs, the supplantations of more appropriate ones are expected. The complicated procedure of conventional Vietnamese marriage, for example, converted to be more simple. Meanwhile, backward customs of some ethnic groups in Vietnam, namely child marriages and burying alive victims alongside the dead, are gradually eradicated due to the intense defenses against their grandparents or parents of the second or third generations having progressive mindsets of the modern world, which the older usually lacks. Next, despite the brain drain consequence, youthful inhabitants are more likely to become the country's promising labor force. With a population of which the majority is in the most productive ages, there will be a fertile source of employment for companies to exploit. However, unlike the desire to lead a stable life of the elder, it is unavoidable for some outstanding youths with dynamic and changing lifestyles to work beyond the border for better payment and welfare; this, fortunately, happens in the minority.

Additionally, the more residents aged between 20 and 40 a country may have, the more stability its population can attain. Higher possibilities of getting married and giving birth are, for instance, said to happen mostly among people of the mentioned age.

In conclusion, while consequences of traditional loss and grey matter deficiency tangibly would befall a country populating with few elders, positive effects on national childbirths and workforce are so undisputed that it might surpass.

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Thank you.

A lot of your writing is off-topic. The essay is asking you to compare one country with a young population, for example, an average age of under 20 (Somalia, Ethiopia, and Kenya), to another country with an older population, for example, an average age of 45 (Japan, Germany and Italy.)
What are the disadvantages of having a very young population?



The population (A country has only one population. Your sentence implies that a country can have many of them, and each has a different proportion of young and old people. That is not a good paraphrase of this task.) with more people in their early adulthoods (wrong form. Adulthood is non-count) than those living in their declining years can be a double-edged issue (wrong expression. These idioms are fixed, and you have to use them exactly.) for a country. I believe, however, despite some detrimental effects, which this population might bring up, (wrong verb) it will be wholly inferior to the beneficial ones. (I do not understand this. )

Initially, although the (wrong article) country populated with more young citizens might withstand a serial (wrong word) loss of traditional customs, the supplantations of more appropriate ones are expected. The complicated procedure of conventional Vietnamese marriage, for example, converted to be more simple. (That is not a sentence. It is a long and complicated noun phrase.) Meanwhile, backward unacceptable customs of some ethnic groups in Vietnam, namely child marriages and burying alive victims alive alongside the dead, are gradually being eradicated due to the intense defenses (wrong word) against their grandparents or parents of the second or third generations having progressive mindsets of the modern world, which the older usually lacks. (This sentence is too complicated to follow. Besides, most of it is off-topic. The changing culture and traditions of a country is not the topic of this task.) Next, despite the brain drain consequence, youthful inhabitants are more likely to (wrong word ) will become the country's promising labor force. With a population of in which the majority is in the their most productive ages, there will be a large number of candidates fertile source of employment for companies to employ. exploit. However, unlike the desire to lead a stable life of the elder, it is unavoidable for some outstanding youths with dynamic and changing lifestyles to work beyond the border for better payment and welfare; this, fortunately, happens in the minority.

Additionally, the more residents aged between 20 and 40 a country may have, the more stability its population can attain. (This is difficult to understand. I think you mean that if many people are couples of childbearing ages, the population will not grow. That does not makes sense. These kinds of populations grow faster than those with elderly populations.) Higher possibilities of getting married and giving birth are, for instance, said to happen mostly among people of the mentioned age.(wrong phrase)

In conclusion, while consequences of traditional loss and grey matter deficiency tangibly (That makes no sense.) would befall a country populating (wrong form) with few elders, positive effects from a sustainable birth rate and a youthful on national childbirths and workforce are so undisputed that it might surpass (missing direct object. You did not use this verb correctly.) .

Thank you for evaluating my essay, I am really disappointed how all of my ideas are always misexpressed or expressed with the wrong vocabulary. I tried to stick to the topics, but sadly the results went against my will every time😂. I wish to do the IELTS exam before July, so I'm supposed to write as much as I possibly could until they (my writings) are no longer off-topic. And until then, please do me a favour by going over my essays. Thanks again for your help. 😁😁😁

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?

Indeed, the key to success is practice, practice, and more practice. Keep learning and trying.

If you request it, I will provide an example essay for the task.

If there is a sample essay available for me, I will be so grateful 😁

recently, I've been spending time writing another essay for this topic, hoping it'll be more engageable. Here it is, please have a look at my second attempt. And when I have your sample essay, I'll compare it with my writings to see what the cause for all of my off-topics are.😁


The topic:

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

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My second attempt essay:


It is a matter of debate that a young population would be one of the fruitful factors benefiting the country in the long run or not. Some people might argue that the demerits of this population would be so destructive, leading to the dilution of its positive effects. I, conversely, assent to the idea that defends the merits would overshadow its drawbacks.

At first thought, a country overcrowded by youngsters might have to withstand the population explosion if there is no sign of change in the predominant age groups eventually. Furthermore, this would entail a cascade of consequences befalling the nation, namely unemployment, famine, and illiterate descendants. However, it is the worst scenario to happen. In today's world, people are more likely to desire a stable economic life, which prevents them from bearing too many offspring. As a result, if the population boom took place in the nation, it would be under control.

Concerning the beneficial impacts of a population with more people of early adulthood, one might be the national economic growth. It is the fruit of an active labor force. With the outnumber of people belonging to the most productive age group, enterprises can employ a sufficient amount of labor. As a result, the production in companies will not be interrupted, which positively affects the national exportation. Following this will be a profitable period for a country to develop financially.

Additionally, the more residents aged between 20 and 40 residing in the country, the faster the population grows. In other words, higher possibilities of getting married and giving birth are to occur among 20-to-40-aged residents. Despite the potential overpopulation, the numerous childbirth could refrain some traditions and customs from disappearing due to no successor.

To conclude, although the overpopulating consequence might be foreseeable, I believe that the majority of youth will impact the country more beneficially, with a rich workforce and less cultural disappearing risk, rather than adversely.

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Thanks, 😁

This is more focused on the topic, but the English is very unnatural and awkward.

Many students think that if they use high-level vocabulary, they will get a higher band score. This is a false impression. One of the four scoring criteria for Task 2 is "Lexical Resource." A student with a high level of lexical resource not only knows many words, but they know how to use them. Here are the descriptors:

Band score 7:

▪ uses a sufficient range of vocabulary to allow some flexibility and precision
▪ uses less common lexical items with some awareness of style and collocation
▪ may produce occasional errors in word choice, spelling and/or word formation

Band score 6:

▪ uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task
▪ attempts to use less common vocabulary but with some inaccuracy
▪ makes some errors in spelling and/or word formation, but they do not impede communication


The issue with your essay is that you make many errors in word choice and phrasing. It is not enough to know a word from the dictionary; you have to use it correctly in a sentence. So it is much better to use vocabulary you know well than to make a lot of errors with words you are uncertain about.



It is a matter of debate that (No, there is no debate. Never write "debate" or "controversy." No IELTS tasks have debates or controversies. They ask for your opinion on a certain subject. You must convince the examiner that you understand the topic. a young population would be one of the fruitful factors benefiting the country in the long run or not. Some people might argue that the demerits (wrong word. Remove this word from your vocabulary. It is very old-fashioned and I cannot remember that I have ever used it.) of this population would be so destructive, leading to the dilution of its positive effects. I, conversely, assent to the idea that defends the merits would overshadow its drawbacks. (You are trying too hard. That is a very common mistake of learners. You write convoluted sentences with high-level words you do not know well, thinking that it will impress the examiner. Well, it usually just creates a real mess.)

At first thought, a country overcrowded by youngsters (Youngster is a very casual word. In the US, it means kids younger than teenagers.) might have to withstand the population explosion if there is no sign of change in the predominant age groups eventually. (That makes no sense.) Furthermore, this would entail a cascade of consequences befalling the nation, namely unemployment, famine, and illiterate descendants. (wrong word) However, it is the worst scenario to happen. In today's world, people are more likely to desire a stable economic life, which prevents them from bearing too many offspring. (Offspring is used for animals. Extremely rarely in limited literary contexts for people.) As a result, if the population boom took place in the nation, it would be under control.

Concerning the beneficial impacts of a population with more people of early adulthood, one might be the national economic growth. It is the fruit of an active labor force. With the outnumber (wrong word - outnumber is a verb, not a noun.) of people belonging to the most productive age group, enterprises can employ a sufficient amount of labor. As a result, the production in companies will not be interrupted, which positively affects the national exportation. Following this will be a profitable period for a country to develop financially.

Additionally, the more residents aged between 20 and 40 residing in the country, the faster the population grows. In other words, higher possibilities of getting married and giving birth are to occur among 20-to-40-aged residents. Despite the potential overpopulation, the numerous childbirth could refrain some traditions and customs from disappearing due to no successor.

To conclude, although the overpopulating consequence might be foreseeable, I believe that the majority of youth will impact the country more beneficially, with a rich workforce and less cultural disappearing risk, rather than adversely.

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At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

I will employ your position and argument points.

Note that this sample essay is a bit too long, but it will give you some ideas on a good way to approach this topic.


In the nations of the world, there are wide variety of population types. Some, such as Japan, have a population with many more seniors than young people, and the average age is increasing. Others, such as Iran and Kenya have a young population with relatively few elderly people. Although there are disadvantages to a population dominated by young adults, the advantages are much greater.

First, in a population with the majority of people at child-bearing ages, the birth rate may be quite high. The result is that the number of people will increase unsustainably. It puts a lot of strain on the available resources, because there are more mouths to feed, but there is a limit on the amount of food production. It will also burden the healthcare, education and housing systems. The government will have to raise taxes to pay for growing the capacity of these public systems, putting a severe financial burden on the wage-earners. The outcome of all this pressure can be famine, poverty and illiteracy. However, that is the most pessimistic scenario, and there are ways to avoid it. If birth control measures are widely available, or there are laws limiting the number of children per family, population growth can be curtailed to a reasonable or even an ideal level.

Second, given a large working-age population, the economy will flourish because international companies will move in and build manufacturing facilities to take advantage of the large available workforce. Taxes from these companies provides funds for the government to invest in education, healthcare, environmental protection and infrastructure. The standard of living and quality of life in these countries will rise. Generous pensions can be paid to the older retired people, who can serve as caretakers of the children, volunteer teachers, and the keepers of customs and traditions of their culture.

In conclusion, having a population with a large number of young adults is extremely beneficial for a nation, and the disadvantages can be limited by the government taking appropriate policies.

now I think I know the reason why my writings were quite badly written 😂. It was probably because I was affected by the style of writing in my native language 😂. I am working on it and will try another topic to see whether or not I've successfully surmounted my vocabulary issues. Thanks a bunch, 😁 It is such a relief to know there're online websites like yours that exist helping with evaluating essays. ( I'll start writing another essay tonight, hehe next time will be better, i have faith in myself hahaha😁) Thanks again , have a good day 😄😄😄