Dear All,

here's a letter I wrote to apply for a position as receptionist in a Student Hall, it will be included in an application form, I received it yesterday and have to send it back tomorrow, so this is quite urgent... Can you please correct it ?

Here's what they ask me to do :
5.1 Please explain why you are interested in this post, and in what way your skills, knowledge and experiences are applicable. You may use an additional sheet if necessary.

Here's what I wrote :

Dear Carol S,

I wish to express my keen interest in the post of front-desk receptionist at the ISH and enclosed my CV in connection with it.

As you will see from the application form, I graduated from London Metropolitan University this year with a B.A. (Hons.) in International Tourism. In addition to this, I am holder of a 2-year degree in foreign languages and business, I can therefore speak French (my mother tongue) and English fluently and have a good command of German.

I have had the opportunity to develop various skills through my placements and summer jobs. My work at the museum and tourist offices gave me experience of dealing with customers’ requests in various languages. Working in le Lion d’Angers helped me to develop my sense of responsibility as I was often working alone during week-end shifts while my job in Valras-Plage enabled me to improve my team skills as we were 10 employees at the reception.

I enjoy working in contact with people and I’m looking for a position where I could use my communication and foreign languages skills. For that reason, I believe I have the skills and enthusiasm to make a valuable contribution to the XXX House and I look forward to hearing from you. I am available for interview at two days’ notice.

Yours sincerely

C G

Thanks in advance for your help!!!!
Looks good, I would just rearrange it and amend a few little areas to give greater emphasis to different parts.

I wish to express my keen interest in the post of front-desk receptionist at the ISH and enclose my CV. I have enjoyed working in customer service roles and now wish to continue working with people with people in a position where I could use my communication and foreign languages skills. For that reason, I believe I have the skills and enthusiasm to make a valuable contribution to the *** House.

I have had the opportunity to develop various skills through my placements and summer jobs. My work at the museum and tourist offices gave me experience of dealing with customers’ requests in various languages. Working in le Lion d’Angers helped me to develop my sense of responsibility as I was often working alone during week-end shifts while my job in Valras-Plage enabled me to improve my team skills as we were 10 employees at the reception.

As you will see from the application form, I graduated from London Metropolitan University this year with a B.A. (Hons.) in International Tourism. In addition to this, I am holder of a 2-year degree in foreign languages and business, I can therefore speak French (my mother tongue) and English fluently and have a good command of German.

I look forward to hearing from you and am available for interview at two days’ notice.
Waw, so quick!!!
Thank you sooooo much!!!!