Kindly tell me how is my writing style, and please help me to rectify grammar mistakes

I went to my native place last week. The scenic beauty of the place soothes your senses. While coming back, my heart was not allowing me parting with the place. But I would like to share with you my sweet memories. Adjacent to my uncle’s home is a military camp. At the crack of the dawn I happened to reach there, although I came out for jogging. I was fortunate that I got the entry into the camp to witness there rigorous training sessions. The chilly morning air was rented with Battalion leader’s voice. I sat in the corner, battalion leader picked up one army man from the contingent randomly and ordered him to accomplish Mission B. In no time, the army man climbed the nearby rock, which was around 15 feet high like a shooting star, the only difference between two (the army man and shooting star) was that he was surging upwards. Reaching top he stood motionless stretching out his hands downward and in a couple of minutes he launched himself into the water pool next to the rock. After successful landing, he came out and took his original position in the contingent. The Battalion leader said, great the mission accomplished in 3 minutes.
am sending you an analysis soon I also like writing.lets link up
sure Oketch I am waiting for your analysis