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Hi-I am designing my own wedding invitations, and my grammar is terrible. My friends cannot agree which of the following is correct. Can someone tell us which one is best?

Mr. and Mrs. XXX invite you to share the joy in the marriage of their daughter XXX XXXX to XXX XXXX

or

Mr. and Mrs. XXX invite you to share in the joy at the marriage of their daughter XXX XXXX to XXX XXXX
or
Mr. and Mrs. XXX invite you to share the joy at the marriage of their daughter XXX XXXX to XXX XXXX
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RvwDictionary.com has a transitive and an intransive definition of share that might work:
v. shared, shar·ing, shares
v. tr.To participate in, use, enjoy, or experience jointly or in turns.

v. intr.
To have a share or part.
I favor the transitive definition and would therefore say ... share the joy....I would use "their" instead of "the" in this case.

I would say at the marriage. This refers more clearly to the marriage ceremony. In the marriage makes me uneasily wonder how long the guests are going to hang around. .
Great way of putting it! I believe that "marriage" used to refer only to the state of matrimony, "wedding" to the ceremony itself. "Marriage" seems to have taken over. So, the correct preposition is essential.
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I too prefer to invite them to share their joy. The parents are joyous. That's nice. And yes, it would be nice for people to appreciate that and come along to enjoy the day and wish the couple well.

It's pushing it a bit to assume that everyone will be walking round in a state of joy at the wedding. Most people will (hopefully) be pleased but joy is a very extreme emotion and only really one that the closest relatives and friends will be feeling. I've been to many weddings and been happy for the couple but not joyous for them.

To think of a roomful of people sharing joy is actually a bit scary to me, sounds like they are all in mass hysteria or something! Or like an order; you WILL feel joy that our daughter is getting married! If I were being invited to come and share someone's joy at an event I'd think, aaah that's sweet, they are so happy. If I were invited to come and share the joy I'd find it a bit too much.
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Comments  
Dictionary.com has a transitive and an intransive definition of share that might work:
v. shared, shar·ing, shares
v. tr. To participate in, use, enjoy, or experience jointly or in turns.

v. intr.
To have a share or part.
I favor the transitive definition and would therefore say ... share the joy....

I would say at the marriage. This refers more clearly to the marriage ceremony. In the marriage makes me uneasily wonder how long the guests are going to hang around.
 Philip's reply was promoted to an answer.
But in the sentence
Mr. and Mrs. *** invite you to share their joy at the marriage of their daughter *** *** to *** ***.
their joy refers to that of Mr. and Mrs. ***, while the joy refers to everybody's.
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 nona the brit's reply was promoted to an answer.
I'm hashing out the same wording and really don't like "their joy" for the reasons RVW listed -- it puts the emphasis on the parents, rather than the couple and the ceremony in general.