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In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Here is my essay.

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Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, We can do everything with technological devices such as navigating the ways on streets, contacting with people in a far distance, learning new things, so on. So, even with reading, we can also do it online by technological devices. There is an idea that nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will able to read everything they want online without paying, but I think that most people tend to do this increasingly in the future, not everybody.

As you can see, today, most people, each owns at least one smart phone. Some of them have more technological devices such as tablets or kindle readers which have function of reading. These easily mobile devices are also be considered as books or newspaper. We can read whenever we want like staying at home, or while you are in the park, or you are on a holiday with family without carrying a real book or a newspapers in addition. Especially, with some books or newspapers having so many episodes, they are inconvenient for us to bring it along. But, with these technological devices, the thing you have to do for reading is to have them turned on with internet connection and enjoy your books or newspapers online.

Furthermore, reading newspapers and books online save storage space in your houses. You will have bookshelves on the sites you are reading online, these bookshelves also have tools for arranging your newspapers and books according to categories you want. No need to spare a space in your houses to store them when reading online.

Apart from that, the publishers spend much money on staffs, printing, renting storage spaces, maintaining printing machines, renting spots for selling, so on which lead to higher cost than digitized books and newspapers online. While there are some site offering reading for customers for free while the ones reading printed books and newspapers have to spend amount of money to own them. This is another important reason that people prefer reading online.

Even though, there are a small number of people, who don’t prefer reading online due to lack of skill in using technological devices, for example old people, or because they are people loving traditional things like reading printed books and newspapers. The smells of paper floating while reading real ones make them interested and relaxed.

In conclusion, there are many benefits of reading books and newspaper online bringing up. I think that this trend will become more and more popular in the future among majority of people, except a small number of people mentioned above.

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You wrote far over 400 words. The minimum is 250. You will not lose points for writing more; however, longer essays generally do not get high band scores. And there are many reasons for this.

First, the longer the essay, the more chances you have to make errors, and you will lose points for each of those errors.

Second, your writing may be repetitious and wordy. This will cost you points in task response or coherence and cohesion.

Third, you will likely stray off-topic, and examiners will deduct points if you are not focused on the topic. Do not write about things that are not specifically given in the task. You will also be tempted to use weak or unsound arguments or even lose your direction and contradict yourself. Develop just two or three argument points with examples and personal experiences. It is much better to have two well-developed and fleshed-out argument points than to have four which are just individual separate statements.

Fourth, you will spend a lot of time writing, and not have sufficient time left over to proofread your essay. You will miss the silly mistakes, which everyone makes, and that lowers your score.

Fifth, you will not have enough time for Task 1, and get a lower score there. You should allow 40 minutes for task and 20 minutes for Task 1. The word counts are designed so that you have ample time for brainstorming and then writing the two parts.

Aim to write around 270 words for Task 2. Practice writing a lot of essays so you get a feeling for the length.


You have 40 minutes.

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LE HANH 2383development of technology,

Be careful of these very general phrases. Be specific. People have been developing technologies since the stone age. Of course, the pace has varied over the millennia, especially beginning in the 1700s.

Site Hint: Check out our list of pronunciation videos.
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Nowadays, with the rapid development of technology, We ("We" is NOT a proper noun.) can do everything with technological devices (Not a natural phrase. I think you mean smartphones, don't you? Do not use convoluted phases when they do not have the meaning you desire.) such as navigating our way the ways on streets, contacting with people far away in a far distance, learning new things, so on. (Do not use ellipses, "etc." or phrases such as "and so on" in formal writing.) So, even with reading, we can also do it online by technological devices. There is an idea that nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will able to read everything they want online without paying, but I think that most people will tend to do this increasingly in the future, but not everybody.

As you can see, Today, most people, each owns (ungrammatical) own at least one smartphone. Some of them have more technological other devices such as tablets or kindle readers which have an e-reader application. function of reading. These easily mobile devices can download are also be considered as books or a daily newspaper from the Internet. We can read whenever we want like staying at home, or while you (Do not switch pronouns from first person - I, we - to second person - you - to third person - he, she, they. Be consistent!) are in the park, or you are on a holiday with family without carrying a real book or a newspapers in addition. Especially, with some books or newspapers having so many pages or chapters episodes, they are inconvenient for us to bring it along. But, with these technological devices, the thing you have to do for reading is to have them turned on with an internet connection and enjoy your books or newspapers online. (Note - if the books are downloaded, they are stored in the device's memory, and you do not need a live internet connection. They can be read in locations where there is no Internet access.)

Furthermore, reading newspapers and (Most people discard or recycle a newspaper after it is one day old!) books online save shelf storage space in your houses. You will have bookshelves on the sites you are reading online, these bookshelves also have tools for arranging your newspapers and books according to categories you want. No need to make spare a space in your houses to store them when reading online.

Apart from that, the publishers spend much money on staffs, (wrong form) printing, renting storage spaces, maintaining printing machines, renting spots for selling, so on which lead to higher cost than digitized books and online newspapers online. While there are some site offering reading for customers for free while the ones reading printed books and newspapers have to spend amount of money to own them. (ungrammatical) This is another important reason that people prefer reading online.

Even though, (no comma) there are a small number of people, (no comma) who don’t prefer reading read online due to lack of skill in using technological devices, for example old people, or because they are people loving traditional things like reading printed books and newspapers. The smells of paper floating (wrong word) while reading real ones make them interested and relaxed.

In conclusion, there are many benefits of reading books and newspaper online bringing up. I think that this trend will become more and more popular in the future among the majority of people, except a small number of people mentioned above.


Comments  
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AlpheccaStarsNowadays, with the rapid development of technology, We ("We" is NOT a proper noun.) can do everything

-->What should I use instead of "we"?

About "rapid development of technology", you suggested not to use this term, what should I use instead?

AlpheccaStars
technological devices (Not a natural phrase. I think you mean smartphones, don't you? Do not use convoluted phases when they do not have the meaning you desire.)

-->I would like to mention about all devices such as smart phones. iPads, kindles... What would the general word for these things?

AlpheccaStarsmost people, each owns (ungrammatical) own at least one smartphone.

-->I would like to tell that most people, each of person among people owns at least one smartphone. How should I use here?

AlpheccaStars We can read whenever we want like staying at home, or while you (Do not switch pronouns from first person - I, we - to second person - you - to third person - he, she, they. Be consistent!)

-->Thanks so much for the advice, I will remember it.

AlpheccaStarsthe thing you have to do for reading is to have them turned on with an internet connection and enjoy your books or newspapers online. (Note - if the books are downloaded, they are stored in the device's memory, and you do not need a live internet connection. They can be read in locations where there is no Internet access.)

-->Because the instruction mentions about "they will be able to read everything they want online", so just wrote about reading in locations where have internet connection. Is it fine?

AlpheccaStarsApart from that, the publishers spend much money on staffs, (wrong form) printing

-->I correct that sentence like this, please help me check if it is correct or not?

Apart from that, the publishers spend much money on staff.

*Talking about the usage of the noun "staff", is it correct to write like this?


The staff of my company is 100% female.


The staff members of HR dept are friendly.

AlpheccaStarsWhile there are some site offering reading for customers for free while the ones reading printed books and newspapers have to spend amount of money to own them. (ungrammatical)

-->I don't know why is is ungrammatical , please help me indicate.

AlpheccaStarsThe smells of paper floating (wrong word) while reading real ones make them interested and relaxed.

-->The smells of paper wafting while reading real ones make them interested and relaxed.

Is this corrected sentence fine?

Thanks you much for helping me.

LE HANH 2383-->What should I use instead of "We"?

You wrote We. The correct form is "we."

LE HANH 2383About "rapid development of technology", you suggested not to use this term, what should I use instead?

Nowadays, with the rapid development of communications and computing technology

Or even better, just leave it out. This is a much much better sentence.

Nowadays, we can do many useful things with our smartphones such as navigating the way on streets, contacting people who are far away, and learning new things from Wikipedia.

LE HANH 2383-->I would like to mention about all devices such as smart phones. iPads, kindles... What would the general word for these things?

You really don't need to cover all these things, but I might call them handheld computing devices, or personal electronics. It is best to write more naturally, though.

LE HANH 2383-->I would like to tell that most people, each of person among people owns at least one smartphone. How should I use here?

Today, most people own a smartphone, and some have two of them, one for personal use, and one for work.

LE HANH 2383-->Because the instruction mentions about "they will be able to read everything they want online", so just wrote about reading in locations where have internet connection. Is it fine?

The task is much more about "everything" and "without paying". It is not about "everywhere." That is not in the task, so don't mention it.

So, if you agree, then you are assuming that

1) All books that have ever been published, including the current best-sellers, will be digitized and free to download.
2) All magazines and journals ever published will be scanned and free to download.
3) All newspapers will provide their daily editions online at no cost and also have a complete history of their previous publications
4) Internet access will not require a paid subscription.

LE HANH 2383Apart from that, the publishers spend much money on staff.

Apart from that, the publishers have to pay the salaries of their staff.

The staff of my company are all women.

The staff members of the HR dept are friendly.

LE HANH 2383While there are some site offering reading for customers for free while the ones reading printed books and newspapers have to spend amount of money to own them. (ungrammatical)-->I don't know why is is ungrammatical , please help me indicate.

While there are some sites offering material to read for free, on many others, a paid subscription is required to read the daily newspaper, or a publisher's fee is charged to buy a particular book or article.

LE HANH 2383The smells of paper floating (wrong word) while reading real ones make them interested and relaxed.-->The smells of paper wafting while reading real ones make them interested and relaxed.Is this corrected sentence fine?

No. Maybe one of these.

The crisp sound made as each page is turned relaxes them.
The feel of the paper as the pages are turned relaxes them.

The smell of fresh newsprint and the mustiness of old books relaxes the reader.

Students: Are you brave enough to let our tutors analyse your pronunciation?
AlpheccaStarsThe task is much more about "everything" and "without paying". It is not about "everywhere." That is not in the task, so don't mention it.So, if you agree, then you are assuming that1) All books that have ever been published, including the current best-sellers, will be digitized and free to download.2) All magazines and journals ever published will be scanned and free to download.3) All newspapers will provide their daily editions online at no cost and also have a complete history of their previous publications4) Internet access will not require a paid subscription.

Reading what you wrote, I think, I strayed off-topic and the instruction when writing this essay.

Thanks so much for what you corrected on my essay.

Have a nice day.