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Kindly tell me how is my writing style, and please help me to rectify grammar mistakes

I went to my native place last week. The scenic beauty of the place soothes your senses. While coming back, my heart was not allowing me parting with the place. But I would like to share with you my sweet memories. Adjacent to my uncle’s home is a military camp. At the crack of the dawn I happened to reach there, although I came out for jogging. I was fortunate that I got the entry into the camp to witness there rigorous training sessions. The chilly morning air was rented with Battalion leader’s voice. I sat in the corner, battalion leader picked up one army man from the contingent randomly and ordered him to accomplish Mission B. In no time, the army man climbed the nearby rock, which was around 15 feet high like a shooting star, the only difference between two (the army man and shooting star) was that he was surging upwards. Reaching top he stood motionless stretching out his hands downward and in a couple of minutes he launched himself into the water pool next to the rock. After successful landing, he came out and took his original position in the contingent. The Battalion leader said, great the mission accomplished in 3 minutes.
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I went to my native home last week. The scenic beauty of the place soothed my senses. While coming back, my heart did not allow me to part from it. So I would like to share with you my sweet memories. Adjacent to my uncle’s home is a military camp. While jogging at the crack of the dawn, I happened to reach the camp. I was fortunate that I happened to enter the camp just in time to witness a rigorous training session. The chilly morning air was rented with the Battalion leader’s voice. I sat down on the corner to watch. The battalion leader randomly selected one army soldier from the contingent and ordered him to accomplish a "Mission B. In no time, the soldier climbed the nearby rock, which was around 15 feet high, as fast as a shooting star, the only difference being that he was surging upwards. Reaching the top, he stood motionless, stretching out his hands downward. In a couple of minutes, he launched himself into a pool of water next to the rock. After successfully diving in, he swam to the edge of the pool, lifted himself out, and took his original position in the contingent. The Battalion leader said, "Great, the mission was accomplished in 3 minutes."
You said "I went to my native home last week. The scenic beauty of the place soothed my senses"

Your paragraph does not match your introductory sentences. How does your story about the soldier "sooth" your senses? If what you saw impressed you, you need to give reasons why and how you felt about the scene you witnessed.

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Thanks for helping me out Susankay, indeed you are right that I need to change my introductory sentence or else it seem off track after that