Task 2: Some people think that outdoor activities bring beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people assert that outdoor activities are more advantageous to a child’s growth than playing console games . From my point of view, I agree with this statement for a range of reasons .

There are many justifications why playing games take a toll on the children. The foremost rationale is that the children may squander their time and get acquaint with the sedentary lifestyle. Furthermore, if they play the console game without the administration of their parents , they may have an inclination to be addicted in the game .In addition, playing games is also the foundation for harboring the bad behavior such as swearing and bullying their friends, which may affect their physical and mental health and neglect their study.

Despite the above mentioned disadvantages, in my opinion, outdoor activities facilitates the upbringing of nay children both physically and mentally . Taking part in the game like hide-and-seek and joining in picnic paves the way for the children to hone their interpersonal skills and widen their circle friendship. Moreover, the children will get more motivation to research the knowledge which is related to their lessons such as Math, Literature, and English… To be more specific, the children may have an opportunity to comprehend the lessons in their school effectively and discover their prospect of the subjects that they are interested in .

In conclusion, I believe that the children should take part in outdoor activities rather than playing computer games for the sake of developing their practical skills and well-being.

Vy KhánhTask 2: Some people think that outdoor activities bring beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your instructions are not good English. Please copy the instructions accurately. Which one of these were you given?


1. Some people think that outdoor activities bring more benefits to beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?


2. Some people think that outdoor activities bring are more beneficial for children’s development than playing computer games. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people assert that outdoor activities are more advantageous to a child’s development growth than playing console games . (spacing error) From my point of view, ("Agree" is a point of view. This phrase is redundant.) I agree with this statement because the games involving physical activity promote a healthy body, close friendships and a positive mental attitude. (Give the reader an idea about your reasons.) for a range of reasons .

There are many justifications why playing games (Football is a game. Netball is a game. Tennis is a game. I think you are not writing what you mean.) take a toll on the children. The foremost rationale (wrong word) reason is that the children may squander their time and get acquaint (wrong form, wrong word) with the sedentary lifestyle. Furthermore, if they play the console game without the administration (wrong word) supervision of their parents , they may have an inclination to be risk being addicted in (wrong word - to) the game .In (spacing error) addition, playing games is also the foundation for harboring (wrong word) the bad behaviors such as swearing and bullying their friends, which may affect their physical and mental health and neglect their study. (That does not belong in this clause. The subject is "behaviors." Behaviors do not neglect studies. Children do. )

Despite these above mentioned (wrong expression. Remove "above mentioned" "aforementioned" and any expression with "mentioned" from your vocabulary They are antiquated and old-fashioned. Native speakers do not use them. Use demonstrative adjectives - this, and these - to refer to ideas you just wrote about. That is the purpose of these words. ) disadvantages, in my opinion, (Write your opinion in the first paragraph. Defend the idea in the body paragraphs. Do not repeat "in my opinion". The examiner knows what it is. ) outdoor activities promote healthy children, facilitates (wrong word) the upbringing (wrong word) of nay (wrong word) children both physically and mentally . (spacing error) Taking part in a the game like hide-and-seek and joining in picnic (A picnic is not a game. It is eating outside in a park.) paves the way for the children to hone their interpersonal skills and widen their circle of friends. friendship. (wrong word) Moreover, the children will be more motivated get more motivation to research (Research is done by advanced university students. They are not children.) look up and read information the knowledge (wrong word) which is related to their lessons such as Math, Literature, and English (punctuation error) To be more specific, the children may have an opportunity to (That does not make sense. If they are in school, they are learning - opportunity makes no sense here.) comprehend the lessons in their school effectively and discover their prospect of the subjects that they are interested in . (spacing error)

In conclusion, I believe that the children should take part in outdoor activities rather than playing computer games for the sake of developing their practical skills and maintaining their friendships and well-being.


Read about demonstrative adjectives (determiners) here:

https://www.grammar-monster.com/glossary/demonstrative_adjective.htm