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Hi! This is my IELTS task 1 essay. Pls! check this for me! thanks in advance.



The figure illustrates the operation of a central heating system in domestic. It shows how the cold water become hot water and warm up the house by using tubes, radiators, pump and boiler.

Firstly, the cold water gets into the house. It flows through the pipeline to enter the storage tank which is hung on the roof of the house. From there, it streams down to the boiler which is use gas or oil to heat up the water. After move through the boiler, cold water turns into hot water which is pumped to radiators. The radiators with many small tubes place in many rooms to distribute the heat to all corners of the house. When the hot water runs around the house, its heat is released and it becomes colder .The colder water flow back to the boiler to be heated up again. A part of hot water moves through the pipeline to the taps for other daily activities.

((160 words))
Comments  
Hi than. As a non-native speaker your English is really good in the context of getting your point across clearly and concisely. However, there are several grammatical mistakes / omissions in your essay that you may be able to catch by proof-reading it aloud a few times.

For example, in your first sentence "... in a domestic." is not correct. You would say "The figure above illustrates the operation of a domestic central heating system.". I would also replace the word 'domestic' with 'residential'.

Second sentence; I would rewrite to "It illustrates how cold water is warmed and stored in a boiler then circultated by a pump through a series of tubes leading to radiators located in the various rooms of the house."

Third sentence; I would rewrite to "First, a cold water storage tank located in the attic (or loft) of the house is filled via the local water supply." Don't say "hung on the roof", which basically implies that you have a large tank of water suspended by a rope or chain from the roof of the house - something that I am sure would cause some level of unrest with the local housing authority!Emotion: smile

Fourth sentence; Maybe... "The boiler is then supplied as needed by this tank and heats the water using either gas, oil, or electricity."

Anway, it's a start. Maybe some others can improve upon my suggestions and give some additional advice on the rest of your essay.

Good luck!!