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This is my essay for IELTS task 1. Pls check it for me! Thanks



The bar chart reveals the favorite activities in the free time by Australian boys and girls from 5 to 14 years old. It is clear that the first rank belongs to TV or videos with 100 percent of interviewees include both boys and girls choose watching TV or videos when they have free time. With the boys, the least popular activities are art and craft which are chosen by 37 percent of boys. Whereas, Skateboarding or rollerbiading are the least common activities for the girls. There is just 24 percent of girls choose this action for their leisure time. The second and third rank of activities choose by the boys are occupied by computer games and bike riding with 80 percent and 75 percent respectively. That order is reverse with the girls. There are 60 percent of girls choose computer games and just 58 percent choose bike riding. It is interesting that the percentage of boys is higher than the percentage of girls in all of activities except the art and craft.

((172 words))
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Hello Thanhnam46

I think that this is about the third time I have helped you with an IELTS exercise of this type, and I see that you still have difficulty using the language I provided you in the previous examples.

Here are the first few sentences of the present description. I suggest you go back to the previous exercises we did together and apply the language we used so that you can finish the rest of this exercise.

This bar chart shows selected free-time activities of Australian boys and girls aged 5 to 14. All of those interviewed said that they prefer watching TV or videos compared with the other activities proposed. Among the boys, the least popular activity is art and craft (the term arts and crafts is also acceptable) with only a 37% preference.

Good luck,

John
Comments  
Thank you, John! This is my new essay, hope that work this time.

The bar chart reveals the selected free-time activities of Australian boys and girls aged 5 to 14.All of those interviewees said that they prefer watching TV or videos compared with other activities proposed. Among the boys, the least popular activity is art and craft with only a 37% preference. While the amount of girls who choose this activity is 58%. It is the same percentages with the quantity of girls enjoy bike riding. The second most popular activity is electronic and computer games with 80% boys and 60% girls prefer this kind of entertainment in their spare time. Whilst there is approximately 38% boys and 23% girls enjoy skateboarding and rollerblading in the leisure time. It is the least popular selected leisure time activity amongst the girls.

In conclusion, watching TV and videos is the most enjoyable activity for boys and girls girl when they have free time. In contrast, art or craft and skateboarding or rollerblading is the least attracted activities for boys and girls respectively.

(166 words)