Topic: Foreign visitors should pay more than local visitors for cultural and historical attactions.

To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

My essay:


Some people believe that tourists need to pay more fees for visiting famous attractions about history and culture than local people. I completely disagree with this idea.
First, when people go aboard, they need to pay much money on transport and accommodation, charging higher fees will discourage tourists who want to visit cultural and historical attractions. It is possible for foreign visitors to visit and understand culture and history when people don't pay high fees. For example, in Da Nang city, many museums have cheap ticket's price, so both local visitors and tourists can visit and learn a lot of Vietnamese history. An art museum in Da Nang shows the life of local people in the past through many pictures about nature and Vietnamese people. My Son museum gives people a great deal of information, photos, and statues about ancient people and their superstitious. Knowing about the past help people to more understand the present.
Second, higher entry charges can hinder local people from spreading their culture and tradition to people around the world. Same entry charges for everybody give more chances to foreign visitors visit and experience a new culture and local people spread their tradition. For instance, Hoi An is one of the best ancient towns in the world. There are many ancient houses with carved windows and doors by following traditional styles. Not only marvelous ancient houses but also local cuisine and folklore have contributed Hoi An's style. Moreover, entry charges to visit Hoi An ancient town is free, so every year, thousands of people from home and abroad come to visit it. One of the best evidence is that local cuisine "Phuong bread" is well-known and become one of the most hundred delicious food in the world.
Last but not least, charging everyone the same entrance fees gives people equal opportunities for gaining knowledge and learning about history, art and culture. Foreign visitors will have more chances to experience many new things. It is beneficial for all members of society to have a great number of great lessons about life, especially young people.
In conclusion, I believe that the same fees to visit historical and cultural attractions can give more opportunities for both local people and tourists.

(1)Tourism has become an important international industry. It contributes a significant amount of money to the economies of many countries. (2)However, some people believe that tourists need to pay more higher fees for visiting famous historical or cultural attractions about history and culture than do local people. I completely disagree with this idea.

First, when people go aboard, they need to pay spend much money on transport and accommodation, so charging higher fees will discourage tourists who want to visit cultural and historical attractions. It is possible for important to encourage foreign visitors to visit historical sites and understand the local culture, and history when people don't (3) so they should not have to pay higher fees. For example, in Da Nang city, many museums have cheap ticket prices, so both local visitors and tourists can visit and learn a lot of about Vietnamese history. One such place is an art museum in Da Nang that shows the life of local people in the past through many pictures about nature and depicting Vietnamese people’s traditions. The My Son museum gives people a great deal of information, and has photos and statues about ancient people and their superstitious beliefs. Knowing about the past (4)helps people to more better understand the present.

Second, higher entry charges can hinder local people from spreading their culture and traditions to people around the world. Having the same entry charges for everybody (5)gives more chances to foreign visitors to visit and experience a new culture and allows local people to spread their traditions. For instance, Hoi An is one of the best-preserved ancient towns in the world. There are many ancient houses with carved windows and doors by following that follow traditional styles. Not only can visitors see marvelous ancient houses, but they can also enjoy local cuisine and folklore have contributed in the unique Hoi An's style. Moreover, entry charges It is completely free to visit Hoi An ancient town, is free, so every year, thousands of people from home and abroad come to visit it. One of the best evidence is that the local cuisine Phuong bread is has become well known and become is now one of the most top one-hundred delicious foods in the world.

(6) Last but not least, charging everyone the same entrance fees gives people equal opportunities for gaining knowledge and learning about history, art and culture. Foreign visitors will have more chances to experience many new things. It is beneficial for all members of society to have a great number of great lessons about life, especially young people.

In conclusion, I believe that charging everyone the same fees to visit historical and cultural attractions can give more opportunities for both local people and tourists to enjoy and learn about such sites.

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1- Try to write a sentence or two to introduce the general topic to the reader, instead of just rephrasing the essay question.

2- Signal to the reader the issue being discussed. Here, we use “however”.

3- Do not use contractions (don’t ---> do not) in formal writing.

4- Knowing ... helps.

5- Having … gives.

6- That paragraph is not well developed – leave it out. It is better to just have two well-written body paragraphs.

- Note also the spaces I inserted to separate your paragraphs.

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